


Show Me

by vidaleeleeluv (Vidaleeleeluv)



Category: Big Time Rush (TV)
Genre: Adult Content, Complete, Consensual Underage Sex, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 04:38:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 44,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17036813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vidaleeleeluv/pseuds/vidaleeleeluv
Summary: When Kelly sees Kendall dance she can't help herself. But Kendall learns that sleeping with the manager's assistant has major complications. Especially given his age.In the meantime James is in love with a bandmate and Logan is pretty popular.





	1. Those Hips

It was like any other night on tour. The crowd screaming their names, teddy bears thrown on stage, posters declaring their love for James or Kendall or whoever. Logan missing a few steps on stage and Mr. Perfect Diamond scolding him with those dazzling but yes-when he-was-pissed-they-could-be intimidating hazel eyes. Carlos trying to keep a straight face through it all. Kendall only shook his head. Yep, just another tour night.

After fifteen stops he could do the whole show in his sleep. The dances, the lyrics, the wardrobe changes. He wasn’t bored per se but he’d gotten used to the routine.

_Tomorrow maybe I’ll see if Logan wants to ride dirt bikes._

The guys took their places and began the next number.

“Guys like me, like girls like you…”

“Show me” was from their second album and seemed to be a fan favorite. Kendall especially noticed their reactions during the chorus. Girls were filming, oogling him and nearly passing out. One had even tried to grab him off the stage. He attributed it to the usual fan fervor.

“Baby show me, by the way you hold me  
Way that you control me  
Speed me up or slow me…”

They were doing it again and Kendall was glad that he hadn’t had that bacon cheeseburger before the show. He always ate light before performances so as not to be sluggish. Carlos had pigged out on corndogs but seemed to be holding up.

“Kendall, you’re hips don’t lie!!”

He smiled at the fan, unsure of what to make of the comment but he’d been seeing a lot of that lately. On a few signs and such. Given that Big Time Rush was his first go at dancing he took it as a compliment. Before the band all he’d cared about was hockey.

After the show things went as usual. James was chasing Logan for tripping him up and Carlos was halfway out of his clothes but already in his helmet before he’d even reached his dressing room. Kelly would be yelling at them soon to get it together but for now she was M.IA. Kendall headed to his own dressing room, ready to change and shower and call it a night.

After locking his door behind him, he tossed off his shirt and leaned down on the small dresser they’d provided each band member.

He was kicking off his shoes when he heard her.

“Show me, Kendall.”

Startled, he whirled around to find Kelly seated on the small couch at his wall.

“Kelly? What are you doing in here?”

He sighed with relief that she wasn’t a fan. One time a fan had gotten into Logan's room and he’d had a panic attack. He was definitely the neurotic of the group.

Kelly was watching him, her smooth cocoa legs crossed in her dress skirt. Her brown eyes were dark, sensuous. When she stood, Kendall swallowed.

“Kelly?”

She came closer.

“I said, _show me_.”

He was beginning to feel nervous. He’d never seen such a look on Kelly's often peppy face. She was either patient with Gustavo, kind to Logan or bubbly in general. Even when she had to get strict with the boys from time to time she’d never been so…

Kelly was a breath away and showed no sign of ceasing her advance. Unsure of what was happening, Kendall backed away until his behind landed on top of the dresser. His heart started to race. There was nowhere to go. Kelly stood before him now, the gloss of her full lips gleaming as she spoke.

“The way you move on stage, Kendall. You’re hips don’t lie. Show Me.”

Her hand landed on his thigh. He blinked down at it, watched it move north.

“W-what are you doing?” he stammered though beyond the shock of his mind he knew.

Kelly didn’t answer. She only watched him as her hand groped the bulge in his pants. Kendall breathed, his teenage hormones responding instantly. The only girl to ever touch him there had been Jo once when a make-out session had gotten too heavy. Though his body had been willing to go further, the intensity had made her nervous. Both being virgins, they’d slowed it down. But something told him that Kelly wouldn’t be nearly as hesitant. And being an older woman, twenty-three in fact, she was definitely no virgin.

Kendall's cock was fully awake now, hard and persistent. His pants were too tight around it. He ached to be free. Kelly smirked knowingly and began to undo his belt buckle. Though his mind was reeling at what was happening, he didn’t object.

When her hand touched his bare skin he couldn’t help but to groan. Precum was leaking heavily and she smeared it across the head of his cock. It twitched under her touch and he lost it.  
Eager, he threw his lips against hers. Both mouths opened and her tongue matched his. Her hands scooted his pants down and Kendall lifted himself enough for them to slide down to his knees. His hands gripped the ends of her beige blouse and yanked hard. He heard buttons pop just before she pulled away.

Her black bra was exposed, delicious mahogany breasts filling it. Kendall gazed longingly as Kelly took his pants completely from his body, his undies wrapped with them. Now he was totally naked.

But she wasn't. That would have to change. Just when he moved to complete the task she backed away teasingly. Kendall stared, mesmerized as she stripped down before him, her eyes taking him in with a seductive lust. He found himself breathing hard, trembling with desire. If she didn't touch him soon he was going to jump on her.

Again knowing, Kelly backed into the couch and sat down. She crooked a finger and he started to her.

“Wait.”

He stopped, confused by the request. She’d seemed so willing now she was holding back?

“Show me, Kendall. The dance. I want to see your hips move.”

He blinked.

“Now?” his voice was raspy with need.  
Kelly spread her arms across the back of the couch, giving him a full view of her gorgeous breasts.

“Now,” she ordered.

“Just the chorus.”

She spoke with authority. It wasn't a request. Fully nude and still very much aroused, he did as instructed.

“Baby show me, by the way you hold me…”

Kelly bit her lip, her hands moving from the couch to her lower abdomen. Then lower. Kendall nearly paused to watch but her eyes commanded him to continue.

“Yea, move your hips just like that,” she breathed.

His body was overheating.

“…way that you control me, speed me up or slow me…”

Her fingers were running over her clit.

“Don’t stop Kendall.”

He stared, his mouth singing the words but his mind on the vision before him. Naked and moaning and never taking her eyes off him. He could feel her want, her desire for his body as he moved. The air was thick now, hot and unbearable. He couldn’t be this far from her. From the heat of her skin, the warmth of her insides. God he needed inside her.

Kelly was tensing up, her fingers moving faster against herself. She watched him move, her brown eyes glistening as she drew closer and closer to her peak. Kendall danced, just as she liked, her enthusiasm for him fueling his enthusiasm for her.

“…Oh when I’m lonely, full of stormy weather, can you make it better…”

Only she could make it better right now. Touching him, taking him deep inside those pink walls. Kendall licked his lips, not missing a note. Kelly bucked her hips off the couch suddenly and gasped his name. That broke him and before he could stop himself, he was on her.

“Kenda—”

His mouth crushed hers, his waist grinding against her core. He placed his throbbing cock at her wet spot and shoved it in. Kendall lost control of his voice as he cried out from the pleasure. Kelly swallowed his cry with another full kiss. He managed to get a few strokes in before she shoved him down and climbed on top.

“Slow down, Eager beaver,” she breathed before straddling him.

Then she sat down on his hard cock, taking it all on. Again his voice rang out.

Kelly placed his hands on her full breasts as she rode him, giving him exactly what he craved. Fully enamored, he let his hips take over, pumping up as she bounced down. The wet tightness consumed him. Her head fell back as she moaned.

“Fuck yes, Kendall like that!”

He couldn’t form words for a response. He only grunted back. They rocked this way, losing all traces of the world beyond their carnal pleasure until he felt himself spinning out of control. His mouth fell open. His balls tensed.  
Kendall came with full force, bucking hard up inside her as he grabbed her round ass and squeezed. He didn’t quite scream but the noise out of his throat was one of sheer delirium. He couldn’t contain it, couldn’t contain himself and continued to pump wildly until the orgasm passed.

His body relaxed after, leaving him to his heavy breaths. Kelly sighed looking down at him and touched his sweat soaked cheek.

“You really know how to use those hips, Kendall.”

He felt his face blushing at the compliment. Why was everyone obsessed with his hips?

“You know, I get that a lot,” he laughed.

She smirked. It was pretty damn sexy.

“I bet. You’re just lucky I’m on the pill. I have a feeling you would've gotten me in trouble just now.”

He didn’t know what to say to that so he just smiled, admiring her beauty.

“Well we'd better get dressed,” she glanced around the room for her clothes.

“I’m sure James has killed Logan by now and Carlos is probably playing naked hockey with the mic stands.”  
She started to rise from his lap. Not wanting to lose the feeling, he tightened his grip on her ass. Kelly gave him a patient but amused look.

“Kendall.”

He hadn't pulled out yet and didn’t want to. He liked the feel of her, the connection between them.

“Can’t we just stay like this a little longer?”

She sighed, seemingly considering.

“Sorry but I have a job to do. Gustavo sent me on tour with you guys to keep you on track and I can’t get your friends together if I’m in here with you.”

He knew she was right, his friends were a handful. Hell, he could be too if he was truthful about it. But he didn’t want her to go. Kendall wouldn’t dare admit it to her but this was his first time going all the way. He wanted to revel in it, in her at least one more time.

“What if, what if I danced again?” he negotiated.

She raised an eyebrow.

“Are you trying to bribe me?”

He smiled playfully.

“Maybe. Is it working?”

She was shaking her head when he got the idea. He swerved his hips in a floor rendition of her favorite dance. Kelly froze.

“Kendall—”

He repeated the move, already feeling himself revving back up again. Because he was still inside her, Kelly could feel it too.

“I have to…” but when he moved a third time she moaned.

“Show me, by the way you hold me…” he teased.

She began to grind and he had her. He groaned, his body warming again and thrust his hips upward. Her muscles gave him a squeeze. He held on to her waist and like before his hips took over. Kelly gasped and it was on.

This time lasted longer but as all good things it had to end. Kelly came with his name on her lips, her hands digging into his pale chest. He could’ve died of ecstasy on the spot. As her release dripped over him, her thumbs found his nipples and she caressed them affectionately. It didn’t take long before he was shooting off inside her yet again. His body trembled, his pelvis leading until he’d utterly and completely emptied his sac. This time when he fell back, he was spent.

He gazed up at her, his mind a fog of aftersex high. All he could feel was the pounding in his chest, the satisfaction in his groin. He managed a smile despite his exhaustion. Kelly smiled back. When she stroked his wet hair from his forehead he leaned into her touch.

“Kendall, Hon I have to go.”

He didn’t want her to. He wanted her to stay and lie down with him. He wanted to hold her and feel her against him as he slept. He tried to say as much but it came out as a tired whine. Kelly smirked.

“I have to. You just get cleaned up so we can get you back to the hotel.”

Then she climbed off him, releasing his spent cock to the cool air. He reached for her, tried to pull her back but she was already finding her clothes. He watched as she lifted her blouse shaking her head at the missing buttons. Had he done that? Damn.

Kelly dressed quickly and managed to wipe herself down with his towel. She brushed her hair down before giving him one last once over.

“I knew those hips wouldn’t lie.”  
She left him on that note and Kendall could only chuckle at her retreating back.


	2. Big Time Blowoff

For the next few days Kendall noticed a distance between Kelly and him. Specifically she was ignoring him. At first he figured it was his imagination. Maybe he was getting too clingy. It wasn’t like he'd had much experience with this thing. He had tried several times to talk to her, to get her alone in case she was embarrassed by his age.

It wasn’t like he was a kid, he would be eighteen in a few months. Still, he had to consider her feelings. Maybe she was ashamed. Girls were funny about their ages. Or maybe it was just a hookup. It would help if only he knew.

He needed someone to talk to on the matter. Someone knowledgeable in this department. Carlos was definitely a no-go. He had no clue how to talk to girls. They’d had to coach him on his first date. He’d never even had a real girlfriend. Logan was a little more experienced. He and Camille had been going steady for a while and he'd even confided once that she’d given him a hand job. Though he wasn’t the kiss-and-tell type, it was obvious that they’d gone further. Unfortunately with their on again/off again status it didn’t appear that they’d crossed THE mark.

There was only one person he could talk to, the one with more experience than the three of them combined. The ladies man himself. James.

Unlike the others, James had lost his v-card before they’d even made it to LA. Always the pretty one, girls just seemed to flock to him. He’d been fourteen and pretty stoked to tell the guys of his experience. They’d both envied and admired him for it. But hockey had always been Kendall’s main focus.

Because they were on the tourbus, privacy might be difficult. He found the eighteen year old on his bunk flipping through articles of Big Time Rush. Most likely checking his hair in the pics. Carlos was napping in the bunk below, a half eaten corndog on his chest.

“Hey James, you got a minute?”

His friend looked up.

“Sure.”

Kendall glanced around.

“Where's Logan?”

“Bathroom. Something didn’t agree with him.”

Poor guy.

“Can we go over to my bunk? It’s kind of personal.”

James's eyes shifted from curious to concern. He hopped off the bunk.

“You okay?”

He wasn’t really sure. He just knew that he was confused.

“You know what, I don’t really know,” he answered honestly.

James nodded his understanding. He glanced down at Carlos, took the corndog from his chest and placed it on the small table by the bed.

“He'll thank me when he doesn’t have to comb corndog crumbs from his hair,” James laughed.

Kendall couldn’t argue with that. They made their way to Kendall's bunk at the front of the bus. Logan's was still empty below.

“So what’s wrong?” James asked as he plopped down.

Kendall wasn’t sure how to start.

“Well, you've dealt with a lot of girls, right.”

His friend smiled proudly.

“Have I!”

Kendall continued.

“And, I mean you’ve done more than just…kiss them right?”

James cocked a perfect brow.

“You actually like…went all…all…”

“All the way?” James was leaning closer now his interest piqued.  
Kendall nodded.

“Yea. I guess I was just wondering, like after you do it, do they ever talk to you after or…like how do you know if it’s just a hookup or if it means anything?”

He wasn’t used to being flustered but the whole conversation had him embarrassed. Having to ask for sex advice made him look like an inexperienced noob. Though technically he was…

James stared for a moment, his hazel eyes stunned.

“Kendall, did you?”

He ran his fingers through his blond hair.

“I did but you can’t tell anybody okay. I don’t think she—”

He had to catch himself. If he admitted that she probably didn’t want anyone to know then that would be a dead giveaway as to who he’d slept with. He was a member of Big Time Rush after all. How many girls had they come in contact with that wouldn’t want to admit they'd done it with a member of the band?

“—I don’t think she’s into me,” he quickly recovered.

Which was partially true. Why else would she be acting like he didn’t exist? James gave him the biggest “Are you kidding me” look.

“Not into you? Kendall look at yourself. You’re young, you’re attractive, you’re a part of the biggest group out now and the girl already did the do with you. Why wouldn’t she be into you? Unless…”

James narrowed his eyes thoughtfully.

“Was it any good?”

Oh was it!

“It was incredible,” he couldn’t hide the reverie in his voice.

James noticed and smiled.

“What about for her? Did she like it?”

Kendall remembered her screams.

“Yea, she seemed like she did.”

James leaned in so that only the two of them could hear.

“Did she finish?”

Kendall looked at him.

“Finish?”

“Cum. Did she cum? You know, orgasm.”

A flash of Kelly on top of him, her release drenching him that second time around. Kendall cleared his throat, not wishing to become aroused in front of James.

“Yea, she did.”

James was nodding approvingly.

“Then you did a good job. The chief complaint I hear is how guys never seem to get the girl to finish. I always make sure not to make that mistake.”  
Kendall rested against the bed even more confused.

“Then why won’t she speak to me? If I did a good job she should want more right?”

“Theoretically. Usually. Unless it really was just a one-night stand.”  
Which brought him back to the question at hand.

“How do I know if that’s what it was if she won’t talk to me?”

James frowned. It wasn’t an expression he often took.

“I mean, if she won’t talk to you then that's your answer.”

He pat Kendall’s shoulder consolingly.

“But hey, you’re on tour so it may not be what you think. What if her phone is broken and she’s not avoiding you?”  
Kelly certainly didn’t need a phone to avoid him.

“This ever happen to you?” he asked his experienced friend.

“Do any of your girls ever just write you off and ignore you?”

It was hard to imagine any girl ignoring James. Except the Jennifers but they were snobby bitches.

“It’s happened to me before,” James admitted.

“I mean I’m still human. In fact it just happened last week. This one lady didn’t want her daughter to know so—”

Kendall shot from the bunk and faced him.

“Tell me you didn't sleep with one of our fan’s mom!”

He couldn’t believe it. Only James.

“Hey she wasn’t that old,” James defended.

“She got knocked up at fifteen so she was only twenty-nine.”

“James you’re eighteen. That’s like more than ten years.”

He shrugged.

“Well she was hot and it was well worth it. But back to the point, she didn’t want anything more than a hookup. She went on her way, I moved on to the next town and her daughter got to see her favorite band in concert. Win for everybody.”

Kendall opened his mouth to scold him some more but realized that he couldn't. How hypocritical to chastise James when Kelly was at least seven years older than him. And worse, she wasn’t just someone he could move on from to another city. She was their manager's assistant. She went just about everywhere they went. Handled their affairs. She was a part of their team.

Which wouldn’t be so bad if she weren’t ignoring him. But now he had to see her everyday remembering what they’d done. Remembering how she'd felt. How she'd made him feel.

“Kendall, you okay?”

James was concerned again. He touched Kendall's shoulder.

“Yea I just, I don’t know.”

He glanced down at his feet feeling heavy inside.

“I don’t want to think I was just something to do, you know.”

James didn’t say anything. Kendall glanced back up to find understanding in his eyes.

“Your first time.”

“Yea.”

“She blew your mind and now it sucks that she doesn’t feel the same way.”

Kendall knew he’d come to the right friend.

“Yea.”

James reached over and rested his hand on his shoulder.

“For what it’s worth, I think she’s an idiot for missing out on a great guy. But like I said, it could be a misunderstanding…so who was she? I’m assuming she wasn’t Jo since you guys broke up when she went to shoot her movie.”

Kendall shrugged.

“Doesn’t matter. It was obviously just a one time thing.”

James was studying him. The scrutiny made him uncomfortable.

“Okay she was a fan,” he lied just to get him off his back.

But James Diamond was smarter than people gave him credit for. Especially when it came to matters with the opposite sex.

“Bullshit. If you’d slept with a fan this conversation would be so different right now. Which means it’s somebody you expected to connect to afterward. Somebody—” James gasped, his hazel eyes growing big.

“Somebody on the tour!”

Kendall's green eyes were just as big as he shushed him.

“I swear to god James if you say anything—”

“Who? We got a lot of sound people, management, set up. I think we can rule most of them out which leaves…Oh my god you didn't?”

Kendall felt himself blushing furiously.

“James—”

“That would explain why you two haven’t even said a word to each other all day!”

He stared at Kendall in disbelief.

“No wonder it's eating at you. I mean even after the tour is over you’ll have to see each other.”

He glanced around to be sure that no one was near.

“Dude keep your voice down. If it gets back to Gustavo she might get fired.”

But James was on a roll.

“It’ll be awkward at home though, what with you two sharing a room. I guess I could switch with you if Carlos wouldn’t mind.”

Kendall stared at him. Just as James paused and stared at Kendall.

“What?” they asked each other in unison.

James hopped off the bed.  
“You slept with Kelly?”

“You think I slept with Logan?”

James blinked.

“Wow.”

“Why would you think I slept with Logan?! Dude, he’s a dude!”

James was scratching his head, clearly blown away by Kendall's reveal.

“That changes everything,” he murmured.

But Kendall was still thrown off about Logan.

“What would make you think I got it on with Logan?”

James shrugged.

“I don’t know he’s kind of cute in a nerdy way. Plus he’s got experience with Camille so I’m sure he'd blow your little virgin mind—”

“Oh my god are you serious right now?”

“Hey, it’s not too far fetched for two guys in a band to fall for each other. It could happen.”

Kendall didn’t know what to say so he just stared open mouthed at his friend. James returned the expression.

“But you and Kelly? How the hell did that happen? When the hell did that happen?”

Kendall didn’t feel comfortable disclosing such a matter on the bus.

“Look it’s not really the best place to talk about that now okay.”

James was shaking his head.

“I’d of never seen it. Wow. I always figured if she went for any of us it would be—”

Kendall was growing annoyed.

“Let me guess, you?”

James shook his head, surprising him.

“No I was going to say Logan. She seems to like to cater to him a little. Maybe it’s that cute little nerd thing.”

Again with the Logan talk.

“God James do _you_ want to sleep with Logan or something?”

James looked at him as if he’d grown an extra head.

“What? No he’s not my type. I like a more adventurous—wait we’re supposed to be talking about you and your little cub ways.”

“Cub ways?” Kendall asked, confused.  
James made a point to sigh loudly.

“Because she’s a cougar. You know, going for a younger guy. Sheesh Kendall don’t you know anything about women?”

His last comment was quite sobering.

“I guess not. Otherwise I wouldn’t have to ask you about any of this.”

James took in his somber mood and offered a bro hug.

“Hey it’ll get better, trust me. Just keep the memory stored away for one of those cold lonely nights with a handful of lotion. Believe me, it’ll help.”

Kendall wanted to make a comment about how James never seemed to have lonely nights but Logan showed up. Looking worse for wear he murmured a hi before climbing in his bunk and facing the wall. Whatever he'd eaten had definitely done a number on him.

“Loges, you don’t look so hot,” he noted.

“Anything I can get you? Maybe some water or a ginger ale?”

“No thanks.”

He pulled his blanket over his head and said nothing more. James and Kendall exchanged worried expressions. They had a show tomorrow night. If Logan wasn’t feeling well then they couldn’t make him go on. Deciding to leave him to rest, they wondered over to the chill area to continue their conversation.

“You think he’ll be okay?” Kendall asked.

James shrugged.

“I don’t know but if he isn’t better by the morning we’re going to have to talk to Kelly about postponing the show.”


	3. Logan

It just so happened that the next morning Logan was even worse. He couldn’t even get out of bed. They had no choice but to call Kelly, who was traveling separately with the tour management team. She instructed them to pull over immediately so she could board the bus and check on him.

Kendall felt his stomach do a flip when she walked passed him. It also dropped when she didn’t acknowledge him. He noticed James look at him sympathetically before their eyes went back to Logan.

“Is he going to be okay?” Carlos asked, worry an unfamiliar look on his face.

He was always so carefree.

Kelly sat at the edge of the bunk and leaned over to their fallen bandmate.

“Logan? Hon, can you talk to me?”

He croaked something that only she seemed to hear. Kelly nodded but her countenance was anything but relaxed. She was worried too. Kendall saw her hand rest on Logan's back and begin to circle in a soothing manner.

“Okay, can you tell me what’s the matter?”

No one could make out his whisper but Kelly once more. She glanced at the others.

“We’re going to have to postpone tonight’s show. Let’s get Logan into my van so we can get him to a hospital. I don’t want to take any chances. And I don’t want any fans bombarding the emergency when he gets there.”

Carlos whimpered, backing into James behind him. On instinct he rested a hand on his bare shoulder for comfort.

“He’ll be okay, he’s going to see a doctor and he’ll be fine,” he told him.

But James sounded more convinced than he looked. Thankfully Carlos's back was to him. Kendall couldn’t say much of anything as their bodyguards moved in to help Logan out of bed. He seemed so fragile in that moment, not at all the best friend they played hockey and wrestled with. Kelly directed them where to go, following after. She paused in the doorway to address the boys.

“They’re going to take good care of him, okay? Don’t worry. The second we know what’s going on we’ll try to sneak you in to see him. Until then we want to keep a lid on a member of the world's biggest boy band visiting the emergency. The last thing we need is swarms of girls trying to peek behind Logan's hospital gown.”

Her eyes met each member of the band as she spoke, including Kendall's. He searched them in that brief moment for any inkling of anything concerning what they'd done together. She blinked and quickly looked to James and Carlos.

“It's probably just a stomach flu or something. I’ll keep you posted the second I know anything.”

She left them with that, to stew in their worry. The rest of the day was if nothing anxious. Carlos couldn’t sit still he was so restless with worry and James was no better. The two had taken it upon themselves to figure out Logan's illness and gone online. They'd managed to diagnose him with everything from syphilis to the bubonic plague. Now they were convinced that they were dying too.

Normally Kendall would be the semi-level head of the bunch but today was just not the day for level-headedness. He stared out the bus window, thinking of what Logan must be feeling, how afraid he must be. Nothing was worse than being sick and not knowing what was wrong with you. Especially being sick away from home.

At least he’s got Kelly to comfort him.  
He remembered James’s assumption about the two. How Kelly tended to cater to him. Well yea, Logan could be sensitive. Of the four he was the least comfortable in the limelight. All he’d ever wanted to be was a doctor and play hockey in his free time. The screaming girls and mobs of fans had taken some getting used to. So maybe that brought out Kelly's nurturing side.  
Kendall had apparently brought out another side. Correction, his hips did. He recalled her words, the same phrase that a few fans had screamed at him throughout the tour. His hips didn’t lie. Well maybe they should have. Then he wouldn’t be so confused right now.

_I’ll never regret it._

Regardless of how he was feeling now he’d do it all again for the pleasure, the excitement, the thrill he’d felt being inside her and watching her lose it. Kendall glanced around the bus, saw that James and Carlos were off on a tangent. Distracted. He swallowed, the memory of Kelly's thumbs on his nipples. He'd never realized how sensitive they could be.

His hand slid down to his lap. His cock was already at full attention. He fondled it through his jeans, biting his lip to stifle a moan. Thinking of her feel, the slippery hot tightness that had held him captive, he undid his fly. Careful not to be seen, he brought his dick out and squeezed it. Clear moisture leaked through the slit of his head. Kendall breathed.

James had said to keep the memories for a cold and lonely night. Well he wasn’t cold, nor was he lonely and it was far from night-time but his body was stirring and he had to do something about it. He had to feel good. Kendall spit in his hand before gliding it over his erection. His fingers formed a fist and he began to stroke it.

_God yea…_

He imagined Kelly's breasts bouncing in his hands as he’d pumped up into her beautiful body. Her walls tightening over his invading prick.

 _Yes Kendall, just like that!_ He could hear her panting. Could hear her screaming. Her sensuous lips curving into that smirk. Kendall released a low groan under his breath.

The whole night came flooding back, the way she'd grabbed him, made him dance…made him cum not once but twice. Today would be a third time. Still keeping an eye out for his bandmates, Kendall decided to speed it up. There was no telling when they’d be back. He used his free hand to spread his precum, loving the tip of his finger circling over the head of his prick. Just then he had a daydream of Kelly's lips gliding over that head, swallowing him all the way to her throat. His heart skipped a few beats and he gasped.

The imagery was getting him close.  
His strokes intensified as he returned to the memory of her on the couch fingering herself as he’d danced. She'd gotten him so hot to the point that he'd literally jumped her bones. At least he'd tried to. Until she'd turned the tables and jumped his. That had been hot too.  
Replaying things over and over was getting him nearer to his breaking point. His breath harried as his strokes quickened more, catching him in a fit of pleasure. Kelly's orgasm played in his mind as he hit his peak. Kendall gasped out loud as he came, his load pouring out into his hand under the table. He had just enough time to throw a t-shirt over his mess when Carlos ran by.

“Stay away from me, I might be contagious!”

Whatever.

Kendall sighed. Yea he would most definitely do it all again. But would she?

* * *

 

“Logan? How you feeling, Hon?”

They’d been at the emergency for hours. Then the doctors had admitted him for further testing. Kelly sat at his bedside, her hand in his. Logan’s brown eyes smiled weakly at her.

“I feel like I’m going to die,” he murmured.

It was exactly what he'd said on the tourbus. After dealing with the doctors, however that seemed less likely.  
“You’re not going to die. Whatever's wrong with you isn’t life-threatening,” Kelly responded.

But he wasn’t buying it.

“Yea, how do you know?” he challenged.

She gave his hand a squeeze.

“Because if you do Gustavo will kill you.”

When the doctor did arrive he revealed that Logan was suffering from a fever induced by a case of kidney stones. It could be extremely painful but with plenty of liquids it should pass smoothly.

“Kidney stones?” Logan was already starting to freak out.”

“I can’t have kidney stones. Statistically guys my age—”

Kelly gave his hand another squeeze.

“Logan.”

He paused, looked at her. She shook her head. Obediently he fell back in the bed. The doctor, an older man in his 50s, nodded appreciatively at her.

“You’re going to need to drink plenty of fluids Mr. Mitchell. I recommend cranberry just for urinary health reasons but of course water is most important. Have you been drinking enough water?”

He asked in that scolding tone that doctors took when they knew that the patient was indeed not doing as suggested. He needn’t bother, Logan was already beaten to submission.

“I um…I didn’t want to have to go to the bathroom during interviews so I cut down,” he answered sheepishly.

The doctor tsked softly.

“He has a thing about using strange bathrooms,” Kelly explained.

Logan looked away, embarrassed.

“Well if you want to pass that stone you’ll need to change that, son. For the fever I’m prescribing naproxen 600mg. It should help with the pain as well. Do you have any questions?”

After his release Kelly led Logan back to her van which would take them to the tourbus. When they were seated she turned to him, her almond eyes serious.

“Logan, I understand that somethings may make you nervous or uncomfortable but you can’t hurt yourself like this, okay? Kidney stones are no joke and you’re way too young to have to deal with this. We're going to pick up your prescription now. Something tells me when that aspirin the doctors gave you wears off we’re going to be right back where we started this morning.”

He only nodded, his face red once again with embarrassment. He hadn’t meant to cause a problem or to hold up the tour. To be more trouble than he was worth.

“I’m sorry, Kelly.”

There was something in his tone that stopped her. Perhaps the vulnerability but she set the keys in the ignition and turned to him.

“Logan, hey.”

He looked up from his lap and she took his cheek into her hand.

“It’s okay. I’m only hard on you because I care about you. You’re way too cute and smart to be suffering.”

That made him smile.

“Come on. Let’s get you that medicine.”

When they arrived back from the hospital the bus was chaos. Carlos and James had built a fort of blankets over their bunks and huddled together in Carlos's bed. They were convinced that they’d somehow contaminated Logan with a zombie virus and pretty soon they'd be debilitated too. Kendall was convinced that James was just feeding into it for fun but Carlos was just totally convinced. They’d tried unsuccessfully to lure him in but his preoccupation with his recent sexual exploit kept him away.

“What in the world?!”

Kendall shot up at Kelly's exclamation. When he saw Logan he rushed over.

“Loges, you’re back!!!”

James peeked out of the fort, his hair miraculously still in place.

“Logan's back? Does that mean they found a cure?”

Carlos was right behind him.

Logan hugged Kendall before looking over the mess.

“A cure for kidney stones? Yea I just have to pass them thanks.”

Carlos was the first out the fort.

“Wait so you’re not going to be a zombie?”

Logan glanced at Kendall for explanation but he only shook his head. He then looked to James who wore an amused smile. He was having too much fun with Carlos's antics.

“No, I’m not going to turn onto a zombie,” Logan spoke slowly.

“But if you guys messed with my stuff building that fort then you’ll be dead.”

James and Carlos exchanged expressions.

“Uh oh.”

The Latino quickly retreated back into the fort.

“Incoming!”

Logan was already barreling toward them. James laughed wildly.

“Don’t worry Los, I’ll protect you!”

The three of them disappeared behind the blanket, battle cries and yelling ensuing. That left Kendall alone with Kelly. He looked at her. She started off the bus.

“Kelly wait!”

When she kept going he reached out and grabbed her arm. She halted just outside the bus.

“Kendall I have to take care of business.”

“Why are you avoiding me?” he wanted to know.

“You won’t even speak to me or look at me. After what happened—”

She glanced around nervously.

“—Kendall—”

“—I thought we had a connection or something I don’t know. I just want to know what it was. Was it just a hookup or—”

She clasped her hand over his mouth, forcing him back against the bus. Her eyes were wide with anxiety as she spoke.

“You want to keep it down before you get me fired?”

He didn’t respond, briefly shocked at the sudden contact. He glanced down at her hand, though she was older he was much taller. Kelly followed his eyes then seemed to realize that she was touching him. She pulled away, straightening her posture after.

“Is that what this is about?” he asked.

“You think I’ll tell somebody and get you fired?”

She took a patient breath, regaining her composure.

“I have a lot to lose here, Kendall. Not just my job but my reputation. Hell, my freedom. What we did should never have happened. I should’ve never…” she looked away.

That last part hurt. A lot.

“You regret being with me?”

He hadn’t meant to sound so…ugh!  
“That’s why you won’t even look my way?”

Kelly looked at him, truly looked at him for the first time since that night.

“Is that what you think?”

She stepped closer.

“Kendall, I can’t look at you because every time I see your face I remember how good it felt to kiss you. When I see your arms I remember how tight you held me. When I see your hips…” she took a moment.

“I can’t look at you because whenever I do I want to slam you down where you stand and fuck the shit out of you again and again.”

He saw the glistening in her brown eyes. She meant every word.

“You showed me. Just like I asked. Now it’s all I can think about.”

Her confession heated him inside. Kendall licked his lips, closing the distance between them. Kelly tried to back away but when his lips touched hers she gave a soft whimper. He opened his and their tongues met. It felt good, it felt right, it felt like the beginning to something much more intimate.

Then suddenly she shoved him against the bus, her body pressed into his and the marathon began. Kendall's hands were all over her, worshipping the curves of her body. She gasped when he found his way under her blouse to grope a firm breast. He groaned his excitement, and began grinding against her.

“We…we can’t…here…” she managed between breaths.

His lips found her neck and sucked.

“No one can see,” he promised.

They were parked in a lot beside a bank or something. By now it was closed. Logan’s emergency visit had taken all day. Thinking with his lower head, Kendall reached up her skirt to grasp at the thin panties covering her treasure.

“The show…”

“I’ll be quick. I swear.”

To further encourage her, he made a move with his hips against her. Kelly let out a moan before tearing at the button of his jeans.

“God those hips…”

With some quick maneuvering she was pressed against the bus, her skirt hiked up for easy access and he was driving inside her.

He buried his outburst in her shoulder, not wanting to draw attention and ruin their moment. Kelly groaned hard but kept from screaming. She backed her ass into his thrusts and again he had to bite back his groan. Kendall couldn’t believe how fucking good she felt.

She took his hand and slid it to her front, planting it directly on her swollen and slippery clit. He marveled as she guided his fingers against it. Teaching him what she liked. His hips never stopped thrusting.

“Faster…yea yea, god Kendall…”

She was always so vocal, whereas he found himself dumbstruck. Her body literally blew his mind to the point where he forgot how to speak. So he groaned and he gasped and he fought not to yell as he felt himself closing in.

_James said to always make sure she finishes._

But he was so close himself. He couldn’t cum before her. So Kendall tried something. With his left hand he scooted up into her bra and found her nipple. Then, just as she’d done with his their first time, he toyed with her hard pebble. Kelly gasped and began backing harder into him. Her body was tensing, her movements quickening. Which was fine because his was almost there as well. Just when Kendall couldn’t hold it in anymore Kelly burst, slamming her head back into his chin as she came. He couldn’t feel the blow, his cock had detonated inside her. His vision blurred and he moaned a little too loud. His body fell against hers when he finished, his hips giving a couple last thrusts.

“I told you I’d be quick,” he breathed into her ear.

Kelly turned her face so that her cheek touched his.

“I guess your hips aren’t the only part of you that doesn’t lie.”

They chuckled together. Then she sighed.  
“We have to go before someone sees us.”

He cuddled her closer.

“Do we have to?”

She touched his hands, brought them from around her.

“Did nothing I said sink in? I’ve got a lot to lose here.”

She was right. He didn’t want to be the cause of her misfortune so reluctantly he stepped back, sliding out of her. They quietly fixed their clothes before facing each other.

“We're not going to be able to stop this are we?” she stated more than asked.  
Kendall didn’t even attempt to hide his smile.

“Not if I can help it.”

His heart warmed when she returned the smile.

“Okay fine. But we lay down some ground rules. For starters no one can know. I mean it. If word gets out then I’m finished.”

He nodded.

“And we can’t be so reckless. This was way too risky just now. Anybody could've just walked up or stepped off the bus. The LAST thing we need is for Carlos or James to go blabbing. Or God forbid Logan.”

At the mention of his name Kendall felt a tinge of guilt. For a second he debated telling her but decided that she had a right to know.

“Um…James sort of already knows.”

Her almond eyes became saucers.

“What?!”

Her hands went to her temples as panic began to set in.

“Seriously?!”

“I didn’t really tell him. It was an accident. See he thought I slept with Logan—”

“If Logan knows too I will leave this tour right now.”

“He doesn’t. I swear. Just James. He was helping me with…” he was embarrassed to say now.

Kelly wasn't paying too much attention to that anyway.

“If James knows then Carlos knows and if Carlos knows then the world knows.”

She buried her face in her hands.

“That’s it. I’m finished.”

Kendall moved in to console her.

“It’s okay. He won’t say anything. He's good at keeping these types of secrets.”

Kelly glanced up from her hands.

“What do you mean ‘these types of secrets'?”

At that he had to shrug.

“Now if I tell you I'd be betraying his trust. Not the best way to prove to you how trustworthy I am.”

She narrowed her eyes but didn’t say anything. Instead she sighed.

“Okay, I’m going to trust James. But only because you do. But if either of you say a word I’m resigning immediately. Got it?”

He nodded, happy with his victory.

“Good. Now go get cleaned up. The show’s back on tonight. Those hips of yours need to be in ready to move.”

 

 

 


	4. And James?

With his pain meds Logan was able to do the show which was a relief to everyone. He’d felt pretty guilty for falling ill despite his friends' insistence that he need not. After the fifth apology James threatened to gel his hair. That shut him up. Carlos insisted on monitoring his water intake which really meant following him around and forcing him to chug bottled water all night. In the long run helpful but on a concert night not so much. They weren’t halfway through the show when he had to make a run for the bathroom. Which was of course at the farthest distance from the stage.

Unable to bear it, he made a dash just after “Boyfriend” ended.

“Logan what are you doing back here? You’re supposed to be onstage!” Kelly exclaimed as he shot past her.  
When he didn’t stop she chased after.

“Logan!”

“If I don’t get to the bathroom there’s going to be a puddle on the stage,” he called back before disappearing down the hall. Kelly pinched the bridge of her nose, attempting to focus. These boys would be the death of her. Just when she thought things couldn’t get worse she heard Carlos's voice behind her.

“Where'd he go? Is Logan okay?”

She whirled around to face him.

“Why aren’t you onstage?”

He scanned the room worriedly.

“I’m checking on Logan. He just ran offstage and I got scared that something was wrong.”

The music was starting for the next number. She took Carlos by the shoulders.

“Something IS wrong. Big Time Rush is supposed to be performing but only two members are out there.”

He jerked away defensively.

“Hey Logan needs me. The fans will understand. They’d want him to get better too if they knew.”

This was going to take her firm voice.

“No, Carlos what he needs is a bathroom. He just had to pee. He’ll be right back.”

He was just about to argue when Logan came back around, looking very relieved.

“Much better.”

“Loges, you okay?”

“Yea, no thanks to all that water you made me drink. I was about to explode!”

Onstage they could hear Kendall stalling. Kelly looked at the two.

“If you don’t get back on that stage I’m going to explode now move it!”

Wide eyed but more amused than scared they ran back out. She let out a deep sigh as the fans greeted them with screams. Sometimes Big Time Rush could be a Big Time Pain.  
A few more songs in and Logan became fidgety again. This time when he ran backstage Kelly met him at the curtain.

“Again?”

He shrugged apologetically.

“We have got to come up with something better than this,” she murmured to herself at his retreating back.

Thankfully Carlos didn’t come back this time. By mid-show she was flustered but it helped to watch Kendall dancing. When intermission came the boys all hit backstage.

“I need tea!”

“Where are the corndogs?”

“I think it’s time for another pain pill.”

“Who took the last blue Gatorade?”

She watched Kendall for a moment, sweat coating his face and arms much like it had that night. She noted the broad shape of his shoulders—definitely a man's shoulders despite his being months below the mark. He was lean but he was toned. And his stamina was pretty high. How he’d come from a full show and still fucked her the way he had twice was an astonishment to her. Then again he was still very young. Kendall was leaning over the cooler searching for whatever drink he’d been whining about. Her eyes traced the shape of his arms, remembered how they'd wrapped around her by the bus earlier.

Watching him was making her wet.

“Hey Kendall can you hand me a water?” Logan asked.

He reached down and Kelly got an eyeful of his tight ass.

 _Get a grip Kelly, you’re still at work_ , she scolded herself and was able to pull her eyes away in time to catch James smirking at her. He’d seen the entire display.

“Drink up Loges,” Carlos was already trying to shove another bottle of Aquafina down his throat.

Logan shoved it away.

“No way, you had me running to the bathroom every five minutes. I’m done.”

“But the doctor said—”

“Screw the doctor.”

Grateful for the opportunity to ignore James, Kelly stepped between the two.

“Logan take your medicine. Carlos, no means no. He can drink water after the show.”

Though he pouted, Carlos let up. Kendall handed a bottle to Logan who drank just enough to swallow his pill. As he passed her, Kelly tried to ignore the scent of her young lover's perspiration. It only made her wetter.  
The rest of the show went off without a hitch. When the boys performed “Show Me” it took everything in her not to oogle Kendall's movements along with the fans. But she did watch. And she did want.

Afterward there was too much going on to go to him. Carlos was on Logan again, his pain pill was starting to wear off and James was getting a little too friendly with one of the local security officers. Though Kelly was hardly in a position to judge, she couldn’t help but to feel a bit protective over him so she stepped in. By the time they boarded the bus the boys were thankfully exhausted. She said her goodnight (with Kendall staring with those irresistible green eyes) and left them to their drive. The next stop was a city over. She hoped they would all sleep through the night, herself included.

Except not all of them did. Kendall woke pretty late for no reason at all. It happened from time to time sleeping on a moving tourbus, getting used to time zone changes. He shifted in his bunk and started to go back to sleep when he heard their voices.

“…it's okay just breath through it.”

James.

“But it hurts.”

Logan.

Kendall sat up. To be sure that he was hearing right, he peeked down at the bunk below him. No one was there. But someone was somewhere. The sound of heavy breathing drew his attention to the bathroom. The light was on underneath the door, the shadows of feet visible.

“James—”

“Shh, just relax.”

Kendall's eyes widened when he heard Logan groan. Holy cow were they doing what he thought they were doing? His mind reflected back to what James had said earlier when they’d spoken;

“I don’t know he’s kind of cute in a nerdy way.”

He couldn’t believe it.

_“Hey, it’s not too far fetched for two guys in a band to fall for each other. It could happen.”_

But James and Logan? Honestly he didn’t know what to think. The entire time he'd known them they'd both seemed pretty into girls. Logan had Camille and James had, well plenty. Had they been into each other all this time?

_None of my business, none of my business._

He didn’t wish to violate his friends’ privacy. More importantly he didn’t wish to hear what sounded like maybe their first go at anal. He'd seen James skinny dipping. That was NOT going to be a small package to take.

_Poor Loges._

Kendall found his earbuds and stuffed his ears. He closed his eyes, the mellow sounds of Sublime filling his ears as he went back to bed.  
In the morning everything seemed normal. Carlos was at Logan's side with a water bottle, James was in the mirror combing his hair. The bus was still moving. Kendall glanced between James and Logan, trying to see how he'd missed it. Were there any signs, maybe quick gazes at each other when they thought no one was looking?

“Carlos, if you keep waving that bottle at me I'm going to throw it out the window,” Logan griped.

“Drink it and I’ll stop waving it,” was his response.

Logan snatched it, chugged down half and handed it back to him.

“Happy now?” he asked, annoyance in his tone.

Carlos shook the bottle up.

“You’ll thank me when you pass that stone,” he sang.

Logan went back to whatever he'd been doing on his laptop.

Wow, they were good. Better at hiding it then he was with Kelly. He couldn’t help glancing at her whenever she was there.

The day was spent on the road, no need to stop with the fridge stocked with quick meals and such. The guys were pretty calm, Carlos preoccupied with Logan and Logan preoccupied with bathroom visits every five minutes thanks to him. James was texting some security guard chick from the show last night. Or so he said.

But after what Kendall had heard in the wee hours he wasn’t sure what to believe. He approached his friend on his bunk, away from the others.

“Hey buddy.”

James looked up.

“Hey Studmuffin, I saw the way Kelly was looking at you last night. I think it's safe to say all that stuff you were worried about is nothing. She’s totally into you.”

That momentarily distracted him.

“Really?”

He hadn’t caught it, too busy with the show and trying not to look at her in front of the others. James set his phone down.

“Dude you should've seen the way she looked at you when you bent over the water cooler. And I thought I was shameless!”

He winked.

“I’m surprised you didn’t disappear on us and handle that. Then maybe Kelly wouldn’t have been blocking me and the security lady.”

He chuckled, and Kendall was sure that his easy smile was part of the reason Logan liked him.

“About that…how are you messing with her and all these other girls for that matter when the person that you’re into is right here on the tourbus?”

His friend blinked, unsure of what he was getting at.

“What are you—”

He decided to come clean.

“I know.”

James wasn't following.

“You know?”

“Last night. I heard you.”

Immediately his dazzling face went red.

“You heard…”

Kendall nodded. He'd never seen James so flushed suddenly, so deeply embarrassed.”

“Oh. I uh, I swear that doesn’t happen often. I was just—”

Kendall waved it off.

“You like him right?”

“I really do.”

“And you care about him. I know you do. So no need to be ashamed of expressing it.”

James smiled shyly at that—Kendall had never seen James shy about anything—and glanced passed him toward the common area where Logan and Carlos sat.

“I think I’ve loved him since Minnesota. He’s just so short and cute and when he gets going on an idea he's like gung ho.”

That was definitely Logan. Kendall remembered many a crazy science experiment brought about by Logan’s mind. Like this one robot…

“I just want to hold him, you know. Protect him. He’s so sensitive.”

Kendall nodded.

“Nothing wrong with that.”

James licked his lips.

“You can't say anything though. The way I feel about him is…I think I’m in love with him but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t feel the same way about me. And I don’t want my feelings to scare him, you know.”

His hazel eyes were the most serious they'd ever been. They also held a bit of vulnerability. Moved, Kendall rested a hand on his shoulder.

“I won’t say anything, but really I think you're selling yourself short. You’re an awesome guy, James. Anybody would be lucky to have you.”

James nodded appreciatively.

“Thanks Kendall.”

“Any time.”

 


	5. Big Time Jealous

James couldn’t believe how cool Kendall was being about things. He’d made such an awkward situation pretty okay. It had started last night around 2am when he'd woken from yet another sex dream about his bandmate.

Everyone was still asleep, the quiet calm of the bus engine accompanied by the soft breathing of his friends. He glanced around, found Carlos with his pillow over his head. Kendall was cuddled with his blanket and Logan was face down. He was the only one awake. Good.

Seeing his shorter friend in his dream had given James a raging boner. He desperately needed to relieve it. Quietly he searched the room until he found a bottle of lotion most likely Kendall had left out. Kendall was always the messiest.

He took it back to his bunk, lied down and began to make work of it. He imagined his hands trailing down his friend's body, caressing developed pecs. James was the most ripped of the group but his friends weren’t exactly cream puffs. He could hear his love breath in the fantasy, shaky with desire. Soft skin coating taut muscle. James touched his cock.

“Hmm.”

His pjs had an opening in front. He freed his erection through it and lightly stroked down. If only he could touch him. Feel him. Kiss his soft lips. He had once a long time ago.

They’d been much younger, back when James's dad still pretended to give a damn about his family. It was the night they'd won the hockey regionals. Of course his parents had missed it—his mom was busy running her company and his dad was probably out with his secretary so the guys had all come over to celebrate and lift his spirits. At some point, he was pretty sure it was his idea, they'd gotten into his father's liquor cabinet.

Many swigs later they’d ended up sprawled all over the living room, two passed out and two awake with the giggles. James had been able to hold his own. So had his crush. Though how it got to that point was a blur, he would never forget leaning into him, smelling a mixture of liquor and corndogs on his breath. Pressing his lips onto his and giving it all he had. His friend had hesitated, unsure of what to do. It was no secret that he'd never been kissed before, James had been the only one at the time. But with gentle prodding he'd opened up to James, allowing him access to his mouth, his tongue. As James ventured deeper his crush had tentatively joined in. A pretty heavy make-out session had ensued, ending with the two boys dry humping until they'd cum in their pants.

The next morning they'd all drawn blanks for the majority of the night but James had remembered. Unfortunately he was the only one.

He longed for a second go at that night. Even now on tour, if he could just climb into his bunk, pull him close and take those pink lips into his again.  
James squeezed a bit of lotion onto his hand and began to stroke himself. He ran his other hand up his own chest to his hardened left nipple. After a quick lick of his fingertip he pinched himself. A spark of pleasure hit his chest zipping all the way down to his groin. He sighed.

Still stroking himself slowly, he envisioned the two of them together, his friend bent over the edge of the bunk. His bare ass exposed and wide open for the taking. James would cup that ass. He'd kiss that ass. He'd eat that ass if he let him.

He felt himself growing hotter. God the things he would do. The things he'd allow him to do in return. He gave his cock a good squeeze. It didn’t help that the object of his desire was on the same bus, literally feet away. That he was so peaceful in his slumber, like an angel. James closed his eyes and tightened his fist.

He bit his bottom lip as he moved his pelvis up into the strokes. His crush stood before him, shirtless at the Palmwoods pool with water running down his toned body. He imagined reaching over and, caressing down to his abdomen. Kneeling down as the shorter boy breathed. Finding a blatantly protruding tent in his swim trunks. Freeing it and going for a taste.

“Shit.”

The idea of pleasing him, of making him moan like he had that drunken night long ago turned James on to no end. He could still hear his heavy gasp, the total lack of control in his voice as he'd come hard underneath him.  
James stroked a little harder. Pretty soon he was losing control himself coming all over his bare belly. Though he kept from crying out, one name flowed through his lips as he climaxed.

“Carlos.”

* * *

 

Carlos stood outside the bathroom, his arms folded as he waited. Logan had been in there for a while and he hoped his friend was okay.

“You all right in there?” he called for the fifth time maybe.

His answer was a stressed groan.

“Will you get away from the door? I can’t go if you’re out there listening and I really got to go!!”

Of course he did. Carlos had made sure of that. He wanted him to get better as soon as possible, to pass the stone and be back to his healthy self. He'd overseen him take another pain pill and insisted he wash it down with a full cup of cranberry juice. Logan had been testy but he'd complied.

“Excuses Logie. Now if I don’t hear some waterworks in the next five seconds I’m going to come in there and make you go.”

His father had used the same method whenever Carlos had failed to clean his room or do some other chore. The threat had always worked.

“You what? Oh no you’re not. I’m locking the—”

Peeping his scheme, Carlos burst into the small space.

“Hey!”

Logan was holding himself before the toilet, his face red with annoyance.

“Get out!”

Carlos closed the door behind him.

“Not til you pee. I want to make sure you pass that stone.”

Logan's brown eyes rolled skyward.

“That’s not how it works. It takes time and—will you just get out.”

Determined, Carlos folded his arms under his chest. Logan seemed to read his stance and whines out loud.

“Come on, I can’t just…it’s too much pressure with you standing there.”

“Dude you’ve peed in front of me before.”

“Yea but now it’s with the expectation that this stone will come out.”

Mimicking his police officer father, Carlos tried to maintain an authority stance.

“Well the sooner the better.”

Logan hung his head, all defiance gone from his tone.

“You don’t understand. It hurts. Like really hurts.”

That softened Carlos’s stance.

“Oh. I thought the naproxen took care of that. You mean it still…”

He didn’t want him to be in pain.

“Can I do something? Get you an ice pack or…”

Logan shook his head.

“That'll make it worse. Just... um could you go get James for me?”

Carlos blinked. James? Why would he need James?

“James Diamond?” he asked baffled.

“What can he do?”

 _That I can't, he wanted to finish_. Logan sighed.

“Last night he gave me this massage that relaxed me. It was the only way I could make it through the pain.”

Carlos didn’t know what to say to that so he just said, “Oh.”

Feeling a bit defeated, he left the bathroom to go find his tall friend. It wasn’t lost on him that this was the second time Logan had chosen a bandmate over him. First he'd accepted Kendall's bottle of water last night and now he was allowing James to help him with his problem. He didn’t fight James off like he did with him. He requested him.

_Why doesn’t he want me to help?_

He found James sitting on his bunk with Kendall leaning in. The guys were close and whispering.

“Hey James, Logan needs you in the bathroom.”

He saw the two jump at his presence and immediately James took on this odd look. Like he was just caught with his hand in the cookie jar or something. Even Kendall was looking startled.

“Oh hey Carlitos,” the blonde waved.

James cleared his throat and jumped down to the floor.

“Sure. I’ll get right to it. Thanks.”

He hurried passed him without even looking at him. Carlos scratched his head. Something weird was going on. He looked to Kendall for an answer.

“Is he okay?”

Kendall smiled.

“Never better.”

Carlos glanced back in the direction of the bathroom.

“Am I missing something?”

When Kendall only shrugged, Carlos frowned. He didn't understand what was happening, why James was suddenly the only one who could help Logan or why Kendall's water was so much better. All he knew was that he deeply cared for his friend but was the only one Logan didn’t seem to need anything from.

“I’m going to take a nap.”

He didn’t give Kendall a chance to respond but climbed in bed and faced the wall. He closed his eyes but didn’t sleep.

* * *

 

Carlos never took naps except by force (once Kendall had threatened to tell Gustavo Carlos wanted him to adopt him) so when he was in bed the rest of the day the guys became concerned.

“You think he’s got what Logan has?” James wondered, glancing over at him from his seat.

Logan shook his head.

“You don’t catch kidney stones. It comes from diet and lack of fluid intake,” he explained.

“Well he has been following you around a lot these past couple of days,” Kendall noted.

“Maybe he gave you all of his fluids.”

“And a diet of corndogs practically every day isn’t exactly the healthiest,” James added.

Logan stood.

“This isn’t my fault guys.”

Kendall took his arm and brought him back down to his seat.

“Nobody said it was. The truth is when it comes to Carlos and his corndogs NOTHING stands in the way.”

James nodded in agreement.

“He loves his corndogs.”

Logan sighed.

“He was just fine earlier. Maybe he’s mad at me for not drinking enough water. I did sort of snap at him about it.”

“Well what'd you do that for? You know he’s sensitive.”

“James did you not see how he was driving me crazy?”

Kendall waved them back to their corners.

“I doubt Logan's little outbursts would send Carlos to bed. Clearly he’s sick. We need to call Kelly.”

His friends nodded in agreement. Just like with Logan, they pulled over at the nearest rest stop and Kelly boarded the bus. She and Kendall shared a look before she approached Carlos’s bunk.  
As she sat down, however he turned to her without prompting.

“What are you doing here? Is Logan sick again?”

He started to sit up.

“No, no he’s fine,” she reassured him.

“I’m here to check on you.”

Carlos stared.

“Me? Why?”

James answered before Kelly could.

“Because you’ve been in bed all day. We were worried.”

Carlos looked at him. At first flattered then he seemed to remember something and his brown eyes narrowed.

“You don't have to worry about me. You’re hands are full enough worrying about Logan.”

James blinked.

“What?”

Kelly intervened.

“We’re all worried about Logan. Even you, remember?”

Carlos pouted.

“Maybe. But some of us here clearly have a deeper connection.”

Kelly glanced over at Logan, who shrugged his lack of understanding. He mouthed something and she nodded. Kendall caught the interaction. He wasn’t sure why but it made him uneasy.

“We're all best friends,” James said.

“We care about each other.”

Kelly nodded.

“He's right. We're family.”

Carlos murmured something under his breath than caused Kelly to blush. She opened her mouth but closed it, at a loss for words. Kendall saw her struggle to compose herself before she finally said.

“Okay. We've established that Carlos is not sick. I’m just going to leave you guys to do your thing. Um, Logan can I see you outside for a minute?”

Kendall tried to establish eye contact as she moved, wanting to know what had just transpired between Carlos and her but she kept her eyes on Logan. He stepped forward and Kelly took his arm, guiding him in front of her off the bus.

_What just happened? What are they talking about? Why is she touching his arm like that?_

Kendall tried not to remember the way she’d stroked Logan's back when he was in bed. He stared at the bus entry, wanting to head out just to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“You want to tell us what that was all about?” James asked Carlos.

The Latino simply turned his back and resumed lying down.

“Why don’t you go ask Logan. Seems everybody likes to talk to him nowadays.”

* * *

 

Kelly led Logan to the end of the bus before she turned him around to face her.

“What the hell is going on here? Carlos says you’re fucking someone in the group.”

Logan's eyes tripled.

“What?!”

“Look, I know your struggle with your sexuality okay. I saw you through the confusion with Camille, your feelings for Kendall but I’m telling you sleeping with another band member is such a bad idea.”

He shook his head.

“I got over Kendall ages ago and I’m not sleeping with anybody. Why would he even say that?”

Kelly folded her arms under her chest.

“All I know is that when I told him that we’re family he said—and I quote—'Yea a family that fucks Logan.’ So you tell me how to take that.”

Logan was shaking his head in disbelief. Kelly watched him, her own heart pounding at the revelation.

“Wait, how do you know he was talking about one of the guys?” Logan speculated.

“He could've been talking about you.”  
That was impossible.

“Logan we never slept together.”

“I know that—”

“I only did what I did to help you relax so you could go on—”

“I know but Carlos doesn't. For all he knows we're out here getting it on right now.”

A quick flash to the memory of Kendall thrusting into her just a few feet away from where she and Logan stood now. Kelly swallowed, willing herself not to be turned on. Too late.

“That’s ridiculous,” she scoffed.

Logan agreed.

“But when has ridiculousness ever stopped Carlos?”

He had a point. She relaxed a little.

“So you never said anything about…”

He shook his head, sincerity in his eyes.

“I’d never. That stays between us.”

She was grateful. Because even though Logan was of legal age, it would still reflect badly that she'd given him head. And despite it being past tense, if Kendall ever found out he'd be devastated.

“So why is Carlos suddenly so worked up about your sex life,” Kelly came back to the original subject.

“I mean, I’ve never seen him this broody. Like some jealous girlfriend.”

They’re eyes met as she suddenly caught on.

“Oh my god. Logan I think I know exactly what’s wrong with Carlos.”

He watched her confused, waiting for her to continue.

“You mean he’s not sick?”

“Oh he's sick alright. Lovesick. Logan, I think Carlos may be in love with you.”


	6. Big Time Confessions

By the time Kelly and Logan returned things hadn't gotten much better.

James was agitated, Carlos was giving him the silent treatment and Kendall couldn’t quite figure what Kelly had needed to see Logan about in private. His mind kept replaying their shared look. It wasn’t the look itself that bothered him. She hadn’t given Logan the same dark stare she'd given him but it was the secrecy of it. Like they had something between them that he wasn’t a part of.

He remembered his previous observation that Kelly did tend to nurture Logan a little more on account of his nervousness but that had never seemed to bother him before. Now it did. Why?

_Because we’re fucking now._

He ran his fingers through his hair noting the slight relief on the both of their faces as they boarded. He'd given Kelly major relief under similar circumstances. A crazy part of his mind wondered if Logan had just done the same.

“Okay guys listen up,” Kelly drew their attention.

“It’s clear you’ve got some things to work out. I’m going to let you do that but have it together for tonight's show, okay? For yourselves and for your fans.”

When she left without speaking to Kendall he felt himself triggered further. He hated when she did that. Logan moved to sit at the edge of Carlos's bunk but his friend moved his foot in the way. Okay he wasn’t ready to talk. Logan left him be.

When they arrived at the arena the boys retreated to their separate dressing rooms, tension in the air. James was pissed that Carlos wouldn’t speak to him, Kendall was pissed that Kelly still hadn’t acknowledged him (Oh but she sure spoke to Logan an awful long time) and Carlos was just pissed for whatever reason he was pissed. Kendall didn’t know and had too much on his own plate to find out. He kept his distance from Logan as well, feeling resentment toward the one bandmate that Kelly seemed never to ignore.

_Maybe James was right, who could resist the charms of a smart little nerdy guy with dimples?_

Though he had to admit Logan had been filling out lately. He wasn’t so little anymore, looking more manly. Maybe that was what Kelly liked.

Their pre-show warm up was a little strained but they managed. When they went onstage the crowd made Kendall forget his personal issues. The fans seemed to have the same effect on the others because Big Time Rush rocked the house. But when intermission hit, and Carlos was still not speaking to James he'd had enough. Grabbing his Latino friend by the arm, he spun him around to face him.

“Dude, what is your problem?” James demanded.

Carlos snatched away.

“Why don’t you go ask Logan?”

James released an exasperated breath.

“Fine, you want me to ask Logan? I’ll ask Logan.”

He turned to his startled friend.

“Hey Logan, why is Carlos being such a dick?”

Logan opened his mouth to speak.

“You’re being a dick!” Carlos countered.

Remembering the time constraints of their ongoing event Kendall stepped between them.

“Come on guys this can wait til after the show.”

James shoved him out of the way effortlessly.

“How am I being a dick when you’re the dick that won’t talk to me?” he snapped.

Carlos yelled right back.

“How am I being a dick for not wanting to talk to a dick?”

James threw his hands in the air.

“You’re impossible!”

“Yea and you’re still a dick!”

Logan looked to Kendall apprehensively.

“Do something before they start fighting,” he urged.

Kendall gestured toward the two.

“Didn’t you just see how James manhandled me?” he pointed out.

He wasn’t getting anywhere near that. Logan seemed to consider.

“I’m going to get Kelly,” he decided.

Kendall wasn’t sure why but that sentence, just hearing her name come out of Logan's mouth brought back the harboring resentment from earlier. Before he could think better of it, he was shooting off.

“Oh you would!”

Logan paused to look at him puzzled.

“Huh?”

That expression, so seemingly innocent bothered Kendall even more. As if he would never do what Kendall knew he would do. If he hadn’t already.

“Don’t think I don’t see how you two look at each other,” he accused.

“Tell me, what’s going on with you and Kelly?”

Logan's jaw dropped.

“Me and Kelly? Where would you get an idea like that?”

Every interaction between the two played in his head as he spoke.

“Come on, I’ve seen the eyes you make at each other. The way she touches your shoulder or calls you ‘Hon.’ And what were you guys talking about that was sooo private you had to leave the bus? Like you couldn’t talk in front of your best friends?”

Logan looked like a deer in headlights. A confused deer but a deer no less. He glanced back and forth between Kendall and Carlos before finally exclaiming; “What the hell is wrong with you guys?!”

James pointed to Carlos.

“He’s crazy that’s what!”

“Right, just take your boyfriend's side,” Carlos remarked.

“My what?”

“I’m getting Kelly,” Logan started off when Kendall blocked him.

“You never answered my question,” he pointed out.

“What's going on between you and Kelly?”

“Nothing! God, Kendall you’re acting like a jealous boyfriend.”

The word hit him like a fist to the chest, unguarded. Kendall felt the air whoosh out of his lungs, his face suddenly burning. Boyfriend. Could he be Kelly's boyfriend? Had he ever been? They’d had great sex, and he felt a connection to her like no girl before but she’d never called him her boyfriend. In fact, she wanted to keep them under a vow of secrecy. That meant that he could never be her boyfriend. The revelation hurt him all over again. He needed to lash out.

“Oh yea? Well, you’re acting like a two-timing whore!” he screamed.

Logan jumped back as if he’d been hit this time. Even Carlos and James stopped their bickering to watch.

“You’re doing James in the bathroom then you’re doing Kelly God knows where? Does James even know? Does Kelly?”

Kendall felt his eyes burning with emotion but didn’t care.

“Wait you’re sleeping with Kelly too?” Carlos exclaimed.

James was wide-eyed at the remark.

“Whoa whoa whoa, who's sleeping with James where?” he repeated.

Logan was dumbstruck, his mouth literally hanging open in a mixture of shock and... hurt. Kendall recognized the pain from their childhood, back when the other kids used to tease Logan for being too smart. He'd been small for his age as well so Kendall had often defended him. Now Kendall was the cause of that look.

_What’s happening to me?_

“Logan I—”

Before he could get the apology out, Kelly’s voice rang from behind him.

“Okay, time out! All of you!”

She stepped between them, gesturing for the guys to move in.

“I don’t know what the hell has gotten into you but this ends now. Carlos, you’re upset because you think Logan is sleeping with James? Logan, are you?”

Still stunned by Kendall's words, he quietly shook his head.

“Okay, James do you concur?”

He nodded vehemently.  
“We never did anything like that.”

“But I heard you in the bathroom last night,” Kendall argued.

“Remember we talked about it.”

“What you heard, Kendall was me giving him a pressure point massage to help him with his kidney stone pain. You know, so he could go.”

He folded his arms under his toned chest.

“But what about our talk this morning?”

 _About how you’ve loved him since Minnesota_ , he wanted to add.

James read him and blushed slightly.

“I wasn’t talking about Logan.”

 _Then that would mean_ …Kendall glanced at a confused looking Carlos. James nodded and Kendall felt like the dumbest ass alive.

“So we can all agree that Logan and James are not sleeping together?” Kelly checked.

The entire band nodded. She turned to Kendall.

“Now what’s your beef with Logan?”

His face was bright red with embarrassment over the James thing.

“He thinks you and I are sleeping together,” Logan said softly.

Kendall had to look away from Kelly's incredulous expression.

“You think what?!”

She took him by the chin and turned his face back to her.

“What on earth would make you even think a crazy thing like that?”

Facing her directly, he began rattling off his points.

“You’re always giving him extra attention and touching his shoulder and calling him ‘Hon’. And you give each other these looks. Then earlier you took him off the bus to talk in private.”

“To discuss Carlos's accusation. I wasn’t going to have it out in front of you guys when I didn’t know if it was true or not. And I call all of you guys ‘Hon’ from time to time. It’s a term of endearment I get from my mom. She’s the same way. I’m pretty sure I used it on somebody today at some point.”

Carlos raised his hand.

“You called me Hon on the bus earlier.”

Kelly nodded.

“See?”

Kendall looked at his feet.

“But what about the looks. Like you have a secret club or something?”

Kelly sighed patiently.

“Kendall, I’d be lying if I said that Logan and I aren’t close but he's a sensitive guy and sometimes he needs more support than the rest of you. You all grew up together, I thought you knew that.”

He was beginning feel even dumber than the dumbest ass now.

“So…”

“So no we're not sleeping together.”

She glanced at everyone in the circle.

“Just so we're clear. Nobody is sleeping with Logan. Not James, not me, not Carlos, not Kendall.”

When the guys shamefacedly nodded she took a deep breath.

“Okay. Any other grievances before you go back out onstage?”

No one spoke for a moment. The cautiously Carlos raised his hand.

“I uh... I’m kind of still mad at Logan.”  
The poor guy sagged at the announcement.

“Oh god what else?” Logan whined.

Carlos looked at him, though his anger was gone.

“How come you wouldn't let me take care of you?”

“What do you mean. I drank all the water you gave me? And the cranberry juice too.”

“Not last night. You wouldn’t drink my water but you drank Kendall's. Then this morning you wanted James instead of me. I could've given you a massage if you asked you know.”

Logan looked at Kelly, remembering her revelation about Carlos.

“Carlitos, I didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t appreciate you. Really I do. You’ve been there for me this whole time making sure I pass this stupid stone and even though I get a little frustrated at times I know you only do it because you care. I really didn’t mean anything by it. To be honest, I think you helped me the most with this thing.”

That seemed to appease his friend and Carlos smiled sheepishly.

“Really?”

“Really. But I mean everybody's been a help. And not just with these stupid stones.”

He looked at Kendall who was still eying the floor.

“I know sometimes I can be a bit nervous about things and I’m getting better at it but you all have been there for me in some way or another. I think we all have a connection, not just me and Carlos or me and James or me and Kelly. Me and Kendall?”

He asked the last part, hoping for some conformation from his blond friend. When Kendall glanced up he caught hopeful brown eyes on him.

“Yea, of course we do,” he agreed.

Kendall moved in and served him with a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry about what I said, Loges. I was just so crazy, I don’t know.”

“It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it.”

Carlos joined in.  
“I’m sorry too. I should've known better. Or at least asked you first. I don’t know, I guess I can jump the gun sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” the group remarked on unison, causing them all to laugh.

When they released him, Logan turned to Carlos briefly.

“It’s okay, really. But F.Y.I if you want to tell a guy you love him, this probably isn’t the most enticing way to do it. Maybe dinner, a movie, a kiss or something.”

Carlos's tan features went redder than Kendall's at the remark.

“How-um-I mean, I never told—”

Logan simply nodded understandingly.

“Kelly and I figured it out after the bus thing. Clearly you were jealous.”

Carlos swallowed.

“It was that obvious?”

Logan nodded.

“Once we thought about it.”

Carlos bit his lip.

“You think he knows?”

Logan blinked.

“He?”

But the Latino was thinking deeply, contemplating a move.

“You said dinner and a movie and a kiss right?”

Not giving Logan a chance to answer, Carlos found the nearest food tray and scooped up two corndogs. He headed over to James and thrust one his way.

“You want to watch Transformers with me tonight?”

James looked down at the corndog then up at Carlos.

“Okay. But if this is your way of apologizing I’m going to need a little bit of groveling and maybe a please or—”

Carlos suddenly grasped him by the front of his black tank top and pulled him down into a passionate kiss. James froze in shock as Carlos's lips invaded his oral space, kissing and dancing and taking him by storm. Kendall, Kelly and Logan stared in surprise.

When Carlos released him, James was speechless. But the color in his cheeks, the heat behind his shock told the story of his desire.

“I’ve loved you since Minnesota,” Carlos declared.

At that James melted and pulled him this time into a major make-out.

“Well…” Logan smiled.

“How about that,” Kelly agreed.

“I could’ve sworn he was in love with Logan,” Kendall remarked.

Logan turned to him.

“Why does everybody think everybody's doing me or in love with me? I swear if my romantic life was as exciting as you all think I’d be a happy camper right now.”

Kendall pat his shoulder.

“It’s the cute nerd thing. And the dimples. Everybody's a sucker for dimples.”

He smiled to reveal his own. Logan smiled back.

“So who wants to break up the happy couple and tell them it's time to get back onstage?” Kelly asked the both of them.

When neither volunteered, as she knew they wouldn't, she threw her hands in the air.

“Okay, I guess it's me.”

“Careful,” Kendall called after her as she headed toward the two lovebirds.

“Last time I tried to come between those two James tossed me around like a ragdoll!”

He and Logan shared a laugh. Seeing his friend back in good spirits, Kendall felt compelled to apologize again.

“Hey Logan, I mean it. I’m really sorry for going crazy on you like that.”

“It’s okay. I know,” he accepted.

“We all get a little crazy after our first time.”

Kendall jumped.

“W-what?”

Logan just smiled.

“You totally slept with Kelly and I know you were a virgin before so that would explain why you got like you did.”  
Kendall stared.

“How did you know?”

“Kendall I’ve known you since we were kids. I can read you like a book. Besides, I caught Kelly eye-fucking you a few times when you weren’t looking. Combine her behavior with your sudden and irrational jealousy and it’s not hard to deduce.”

He didn’t know what to say.

“Just be careful, Kendall. This isn't like with Jo or Camille. Kelly's more experienced and she can’t exactly hold your hand at the movies. She’s got a lot to lose.”

He nodded. He’d heard it all before.

“I know. I know.”

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Logan squeezed his shoulder supportively before the band was shooed back onstage to finish the second half of the show. Afterward, Carlos and James disappeared into James's dressing room and Logan retreated to his own. Kendall wasn't surprised to find Kelly seated on the couch in his.

“Good show tonight,” he moved in to kiss her.

She turned her head away.

“Kendall, we need to talk.”

He didn’t like her tone. It was way too serious.

“Talk later,” he pulled his shirt over his head.

“Kiss now.”

When he moved in again she swatted at him.

“I’m serious Kendall.”

But he had a feeling that serious was bad. He didn’t want serious.

“So am I,” he cooed and began a rendition of the dance that had seized her in the first place.

Kelly breathed and this time allowed him access to her neck.

“God, Kendall I don’t know how you do this to me.”

He tugged her blouse from her dress skirt and moved his hands inside. She arched into him, desperately.

“It's because I do this—”

He worked his hips at her center and Kelly moaned. Her skirt was up around her waist in no time, leaving only her panties as a barrier. Kendall grinded his hardness against her there, earning another moan.

“We can’t keep doing this,” she managed as her hands found their way down to his pants.

He groaned, and allowed her to undo them.

“Yes we can.”

Enough with the negative talk. He shut her down with his mouth on hers. It didn’t take long to get her clothes off. As he bathed her naked body with kisses Kelly took his head and lowered it down between her legs.

“Just relax. I’ll show you what to do.”

He eyed her center, slick, waxed and wet for him. This was the closest he’d ever come to a real live twat, with the exception of his hands and cock. But never had he faced one. Hers was beautiful.

She guided his face into it and he inhaled deeply. Her scent, God was it enticing. He wanted to bury his face in her. So he did.

It wasn’t like Kendall had never seen porn before. He had internet access, he was seventeen and most importantly he had James for a friend who had always been willing to talk about his exploits. Using that knowledge he used his tongue to glide across her swollen clit. The action brought a gasp from her.

“Kendall,” she whined.

He enjoyed her reaction so he did it again. And again until he developed a rhythm and pretty soon she was bucking into him, smashing his face into her.

He didn’t stop until Kelly came all over him, her juice coating his lips, nose and chin. Again he inhaled her scent, and knew he could smell it forever.

Kelly pulled him upward to meet him with a deep kiss. She didn’t mind her taste on him. That turned him on even more. As they tongue-tangoed he slid his prick inside her and their bodies gyrated. Her legs wrapped around him, locking him in. Their lips never parted. Not when she came the second time, screaming into his mouth. Not when he came, emptying his all, body and soul into her.

Post coitus they lied together, Kendall still on top of her. Still inside her. She looked up at him, her eyes still hazy from the high. He gazed right back, again filled with emotion. This time it wasn't the green kind.

“I love you,” he whispered.

The haze left Kelly's eyes abruptly. The next thing he knew, she was shoving him off of her and grabbing for her clothes. Kendall landed on the floor clumsily.

“No. No no no no,” Kelly was saying as she scrambled to get dressed.

He stared up at her in disbelief.

“What are you doing?”

She didn’t look at him.

“You can’t do that Kendall. You can’t say that.”

She snapped bra back on.

“You can’t feel that.”

“You can’t tell me how to feel, Kelly.”

“No but I can tell you that this was the last time. God I’m such an idiot!”

He blinked at her statement, a mixture of feelings running through him. Hurt, anger, disbelief. He climbed to his feet.

“What do you mean? I thought we were having a good time. Why end it?”

She still wouldn’t look at him. That irked him to the point that he jumped in her path.

“Why stop?” he repeated.

She shook her head, her eyes looking past him toward the door.

“Kendall move.”

“No. Not til you tell me why. Not til you look at me.”

She sighed, looked him in the eye.

“You’re too caught up. Too emotional. It was bad enough that we were doing what we’ve been doing but your feelings are involved.”

He didn’t see the problem with feelings. If two people shared what they shared then of course there would be feelings. Wasn’t that how things started?

“Well aren’t yours?” he countered.

“You had to have feelings for me to fuck me.”

For a moment Kelly just stared at him. Then she shook her head.

“You’re really a sweetheart aren’t you? The only feelings some one has to have in order to fuck is lust. I fucked you because I wanted to fuck you. Do I care about you as a person? Yes but beyond that…”

Her words stabbed him and he fought not to wince. It couldn’t be true. She had to on some level feel what he felt.

“You’re lying. I know it.”

“Kendall—”

“You’re just running from this because of Gustavo and your reputation. I know you don’t mean it.”

She tried to step around him. He blocked her again.

“You’re just running from this because of what people will say. But I’ll be eighteen soon and after that they can’t say shit.”

Kelly was shaking her head again.

“You really were sheltered back in Minnesota. I almost envy your naiveté.”

“Stop talking down to me, I’m not some dumb kid. You can't treat me like a boy but fuck me like a man. Give me some credit here.”

She seemed to consider his words, but made no move of backing down.

“Okay,” she relented.

“You’re definitely not a boy anymore. I’ll give you that. But the fact remains that this thing was just sex from the beginning. It’s my fault I guess for not clarifying it but I told you what I had at stake. What did you really expect?”

To that he didn’t have an answer. The truth was he’d just enjoyed her. Holding her, touching her, being inside her. He hadn’t expected the jealousy to pop up or the other thing.

Kelly touched his bare shoulder.

“Look, I’m sorry. Maybe I was harsh but Kendall this could never have gone beyond what it already was. Just two people mutually benefiting from a little fun together. James does it all the time.”

But he wasn’t James. Besides, now that he had Carlos, it was a pretty good bet that those activities would cease. James had loved Carlos the whole time. Everyone else was a distraction.

“So you’re saying it’s over? Just like that?” he felt a lump forming in his throat.

“Just because…because of what I said?”

He didn’t want to cry like a little bitch. So he swallowed it down.

“No, to be honest I originally came here to break it off. But I think you knew that. It’s why you got things started isn’t it?”

Maybe a part of him did know.

“It’s never good when a girl says ‘We need to talk,’” he murmured.

Kelly nodded sympathetically.

“I never meant to hurt you, Kendall. You have to understand that. I just let my hormones get away from me. I mean, you have no idea how sexy you are when you…well let's not get into that.”  
He gazed down at her, not wanting this to be their last time together. She read it in his eyes and gently brushed his cheek.

“Can I at least get a kiss goodbye?” he asked.

But she wouldn’t even award him that.

“You and I both know what that will lead to. It'll only make this harder.”

She retrieved her hand, leaving a cold spot on her absence then stepped around him. This time he didn’t block her. He didn’t even turn around as he heard her exit the room. Heartbroken, Kendall began to gather his things for the bus.

* * *

 

The second they entered the dressing room, James was all over him. Kissing, touching, pulling at clothes in the way. Carlos kissed him right back, feeling himself growing hard at the contact.

“You remembered all this time?”

James breathed as he undid Carlos's fly.

“I thought you’d blacked out. I thought I was the only one.”

He scooted his pants off and cupped the Latino through his briefs.

“I could never forget you, James,” he breathed against him.

James took his mouth again, loving the way he moaned into him. It was like his dreams, only this time real. And better. Carlos grinded into his touch, eager and ready. He’d always been a free spirit; never held back in life and he certainly wasn't holding back now. His hands ripped at James's shirt until it tore apart, revealing toned hard muscle and washboard abs.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” James asked between kisses.

“All these years I’ve been—”

Carlos silenced him by pressing his mouth against those solid pecs and suckling a rock hard nipple. James groaned, and gave Carlos a squeeze.

“Mmm.”

He did remember. As his tongue flashed across James’s sensitive spot Carlos made work of his hands, yanking his lover’s pants down. James stepped out of them skillfully into full nakedness.

With his muscular arms he hoisted the Latino up easily and made his way toward the dresser. In one sweep he discarded the contents, hair and skin products all there to make him look his best.

He thought he’d look best inside of Carlos.

After placing his lover, James took his mouth again. Their tongues wrestled intently. Ever the pro at getting people out of their clothes, James managed to free him of his last remaining article.

Now the two were as bare as their first birthdays.

He forced his mouth from those sexy Latin lips to trail down to his neck. Kisses and suckles and a little harder as he made sure to leave something behind to prove that this had actually happened. Carlos was breathing hard, wriggling against him wantonly. His hand landed in James’s hair caressing.  
Upon finishing his mark, the eighteen year old ventured lower, gracing his collarbone with licks, that sensitive spot between the dip on to his sculpted pecs. Carlos heaved into him, craving every second of contact. When James took his nipple under his tongue his young body screamed. Carlos threw his pelvis against him desperately.

“James, he begged.

“Please.”

Never the patient sort, he wanted to be fucked. Now. But his more experienced lover had other plans. This was their first time. He didn’t want it to be a simple pounding. He wanted to savor that sweet tan body, to drive him wild.

There was so much to show his Carlitos.

“Shh.”

He offered a smirk that he could swear almost caused Carlos to cum on the spot the way his eyes burned. He definitely felt Carlos’s cock twitch.  
He went back to his kisses, suckling along his other brown pez of a nipple, taking his time down his abdomen. Then he reached his standing prick. Hard, dripping precum like crazy.

Begging for attention. For him. James glanced up at Carlos with a mischievous wink before opening wide and swallowing his entire cock to his throat.

Carlos cursed out loud.

“Oh fuuuuck.”

His hips began to swerve involuntarily.

“Fuck, James!”

His breaths became pants as he stared down at the beautiful man sucking him off. Perfect pink lips formed around his prick. He couldn’t stop his voice from escalating.

James reveled in the noise. The purest music to his ears. He reveled in the smell, his bandmate still glossed with the sweat of the concert. He slid his hands up Carlos’s thighs and around to grope his seated ass.

Erratic hands grabbed at his hair, holding on tight, pushing him down to move faster. Again with the impatience. But it was his Carlitos. Whatever he wanted, he would get. When James did move a bit faster he could feel his lover tensing. Given his lack of experience he wouldn’t be expected to last too long quite yet so that was no surprise.

Carlos groaned, approaching that mark. He was almost there. If James went just a little bit longer…

He cried out when it happened, his cock bursting with a vengeance inside James’s mouth. Hot cum shot down his throat as he readily swallowed every ounce. Carlos was still going, his balls pretty full. When his orgasm died down James released him. He rose to his feet and they stared into each other’s eyes.

This wasn’t over.

Their lips met again and this time it was James who was growing impatient. Tasting Carlos, hearing his moans, feeling him lose his shit in climax set him ablaze. He fought to be cool, to be the finesse lover he was reputed to be but the truth was Carlos did things to him. Made him crazy inside. Now he would go crazy if he didn’t end up inside Carlos.

He pulled away from their kiss long enough to glance around his floor for something he could use for lube.

“What are you doing?” Carlos was pulling his arm back, wanting to resume their tongue play.

“I have to—”

But his Carlitos pulled him into another kiss. It nearly broke him. Shakily, James pulled out of it. Carlos started to question him again when James met him pointedly in his eyes.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“James you would never hurt me,” he trusted.

James shook his head.

“No, I mean this is your first time and I want to make it as painless as possible. But I’m so fucking turned on right now that I’m afraid I might pummel you. So I need to find some lube.”

Carlos’s eyes landed on James’s large and still very much awake prick. He bit his lip, a naughty glow in his brown eyes. Then he spit in his hand and began slathering on his friend’s cock. James groaned lustfully.

“That’s…oh god…”

Carlos continued for a minute, repeating the action. James felt himself glazing over, his cock was bright red now. Gazing at his love, he lifted two fingers to his Latin lips and slid them into his mouth. Carlos sucked, sure to slather his saliva all over. When James moved those fingers down to Carlos’s ass, he didn’t object.

With his free hand James caressed his tan, sweaty chest, his abs, every part of him that he could get a hold to. They kissed once more and James slid a finger inside him.

Though Carlos tensed a bit he encouraged James further with a wiggle of his hips. He complied and the second finger found it’s way in. Scissoring, maneuvering, preparing him for a much larger visitor very soon.  
Their mouths maintained contact the entire time. Their hands roamed each other’s bodies.

“James…” he whined.

“I told you, I don’t want to hurt you.”

It came out every bit as strained as he felt. He was becoming unhinged. But he wanted to be sure that his size wouldn’t hurt Carlos. Or his excitement.

“James I swear to god if you don’t fuck me right now—”

Done with waiting, Carlos gave his bandmate’s cock a good stroke before ramming it halfway into his puckered opening. Always the adventurer but never the thinker, he’d underestimated the initial pain of entry.

“Fuck!”

But James was halfway in, hot tightness squeezing all around him. Carlos’s hot tightness.

“Are you okay?” he managed, his voice husky with the sensation.

He wanted to thrust himself further, deep into his bowels but he wouldn’t move until Carlos gave the okay. He never wanted to hurt him.

“I um yea. Just go slow.”

James nodded and carefully pushed himself until he was completely inside. His eyes watered with need as he fought not to start pummeling his ass. The things he did for the guy he loved.  
To ease things, he nibbled at Carlos’s earlobe to the spot just below that he remembered got to him. It worked and after some time Carlos relaxed.

“James?”

“Yea?”

“Fuck me.”

That was all he needed. He began with a slow pace, again to accommodate his lover but soon Carlos was mewling and begging him to go faster. So he did. When Carlos called his name he went harder. When Carlos bit him he lost it. Pumping hard he gripped those Latin hips and held him down as he proceeded to fuck the hell out of him. James cursed as he did so, never having lost control like this before.  
Carlos took it eagerly, gripping James’s hair as he matched him buck for thrust. Sweat poured down his face as he spat; “Give it to me, Diamond! Fuck me James!”

His Latin lover was a bit spicy in bed. James found he liked that very much. When he hit a special spot inside, Carlos screamed. James beat into it until he felt that ass beginning to clamp around him. He grabbed Carlos’s prick and pumped as he thrust until his love was shooting yet again.  
The white fluid was everywhere. All over their bellies, their chests and it kept coming. The Latino couldn’t speak, making noises that threatened to tip James off the precipice. He wasn’t ready to cum yet so he switched up his pace, steady yet punishing, and found great pleasure in the way

Carlos’s body shook with each thrust. James pulled him closer, bore into his mouth. Carlos kissed right back.

“I fucking love you,” the Latino breathed into his lips.

His words hit their mark.

“I love—” you too, James started to say but his body snapped and suddenly he was cumming hard, so hard that he had to clutch his partner to keep from falling over.

He groaned from deep within, his vision growing spotty. The power of it was nearly blinding.  
After he’d emptied himself into Carlos’s insides, James took a moment to breath. He pressed his forehead against his love’s and they caught their breaths together.

“You…are amazing,” he told Carlos before kissing him again.

“Me? I was just trying to keep up with you, Ladiesman.”

James chuckled at the name.

“I think we can both agree you’re nothing like a lady. No, you’re all man. And all mine.”

That earned a shy smile in response.

“And you’re all mine?”

James nodded.

“I’ve always been yours. Ever since that night.”

He brushed Carlos’s warm cheek.

“A lot of other people would disagree with that James.”

He was talking about his history. His many sexual exploits. It was bound to come up.

“You don’t feel comfortable with my past.”

“I’ve known you long enough to know none of that was serious. What’s done is done but…I mean how am I supposed to compare to all of them?”

Carlos was vulnerable all of a sudden.

“Here I am the only experience I have is dry humping you when we were fourteen and you’ve got this resume of girls and I bet guys too. They probably knew things that I don’t. Did things that I—”

“Carlos, look at me.”

Anxious Latin eyes met his. James was sure to gaze hard, communicating the sincerity of his words.

“Nobody and I mean NOBODY can compare to you. Okay?”

“Okay.”

He glanced down at his lap then tentatively back to his bandmate.

“So you’re saying I rocked your world?” a smile played on his lips.

James returned it whole-heartedly.

“Oh yea. You definitely did that.”

His playful Carlitos was back.

“Good cuz you rocked mine too.”

“I know,” he replied with fake smugness.

“And I can’t wait to do it again.”

 

 

 

 


	7. I Kissed a Boy

Logan ended up passing his stone late that night. Afterward relief swept him and he exited the bathroom with a smile on his face. The bus was silent, Carlos was fast asleep lying halfway on top of James in the lower bunk. He would have to thank him again for forcing all of the fluid intake. In the morning.

Logan headed back toward his own bunk when he heard soft sniffling from above.

“Kendall?”

He spotted blond hair peeking from beneath the large blanket. His friend was facing the wall.

“Are you okay?”

But he knew he wasn’t. Not if he was doing what Logan thought he was doing. He carefully touched his friend’s back. When Kendall sniffled in response, he knew what was wrong.

“She broke it off didn’t she?”

The blond head nodded under the blanket. Logan had seen this coming.

“Okay, move over.”

He climbed up to Kendall’s bunk and his friend had no choice but to move. They finally settled with Logan sitting up against the wall, Kendall’s head in his lap. Soothingly he stroked his friend’s hair, allowing him the solace of a good cry. Perhaps it was their level of comfort with each other but Kendall seemed to drop all barriers and let it all lose. He more than sniffled now. He actually sobbed, his tears leaking down to Logan’s pjs. All Logan could do was continue to stroke his hair.

It was well into the early a.m. when Kendall finally calmed down enough to speak.

“I told her I loved her,” he confessed out of the blue.

“I don’t even know why I did it but it felt right saying it.”

He sniffled.

“And she just pushes me away. Says we were two people mutually benefiting and not to feel that way.”

Logan allowed him to vent.

“I pour my heart out to her and she just—just—” he began to tremble with tears again.

“God, Logan it hurts so bad.”

There was nothing he could say so he didn’t speak.

“And I was such a dick to you over her.”

“I already told you, it’s okay. I forgave you for that.”

Kendall turned on his back, facing him for the first time since he’d cried. Even in the faint light seeping through the front windows his pain-riddled green eyes were visible. Logan felt his heart drop at the sight.

“I’m so fucking stupid!”

“No, you’re not. You just reacted to a new and amazing experience. We’ve all been there at some point. It’s a part of life.”

Kendall snorted bitterly.

“Yea, life.”

He looked at Logan.

“Did you? With Camille I mean?”

“Did I what?”

He quickly figured out Kendall’s meaning.  
“Oh that? Well naturally I enjoyed it but I knew we weren’t in love. It was more like we liked each other and that was the next step.”

They still cared for each other, it was how they remained friends after the break up.

“Shit, Kelly’s right then. I did get too emotional. What’s wrong with me?”

Logan wasn’t able to stop himself; “Kendall there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect.”

He touched his friend’s wet cheek, wanting so desperately to take the pain away. To put that carefree and confident smile back on his face. When the blond didn’t object, he wiped a tear away with his thumb. Kendall leaned into the touch. The contact seemed to be a comfort. With his other hand Logan went back to stroking his friend’s hair. The response was an audible sigh.

At least something was helping. He watched Kendall close his eyes then. He wasn’t falling asleep yet, just relaxing under the caring touch. That was all they could hope for tonight. He thought to take his hand back from his face but Kendall’s reaction gave him pause. His troubled bandmate needed it. He concentrated on that and not the feeling resurfacing in the back of his mind. Feelings he’d sworn to Kelly were gone.

 _His skin is so warm_.

No, now was not the time to admire the tall blond. He was hurting and a true friend would think only of consoling him not…kissing him. A kiss would most likely freak him out anyway. Though he didn’t seem at all freaked out about James and Carlos. But Kendall wasn’t into guys.

Then again people thought the same thing about James but look who he was holding rather possessively in bed at the moment.

Logan shook it off, refocusing. This was NOT about him. This was about being there for Kendall. So he would stomp down his urge to lean over and kiss those soft and welcoming lips…

A kiss could be a comfort in a time of need. Kelly of all people had shown him that. To ease his nerves on more than one occasion. A kiss among other things. Well he certainly couldn’t do THOSE things to Kendall. That would be taking it way too far.

He would never take advantage of his friend in such a vulnerable state like that.

“Loges?” his voice was small, timid in his time of grief.

“Hmm?”

“Can you stay with me? Just for tonight?”

How could he say no.

“Of course.”

Kendall’s body relaxed then and within the next half hour he was asleep.

The next day the guys had several interviews with teeny bopper magazines. James was charming as usual, Carlos was walking a little sore but all smiles. When one reporter noticed, he quickly attributed it to rough-housing. Logan caught a slight blush to James’s face at the remark but Mr. Perfection didn’t let on much else. He had a pretty good idea of what “rough-housing” had really worn his bandmate out.

Kendall stuck to Logan like glue and only spoke when addressed. He wore sunglasses, which was usually Logan’s thing, and managed to fake a joke or two for the article’s sake. But his friends knew that he wasn’t well. Kelly avoided the boys altogether, sending direction through the musicians or body guards. Carlos was too giddy to notice but James gave Kendall a sympathetic look as if he knew what had happened. When Logan looked to Kendall he just shrugged.

“I accidentally told him a couple days ago. I asked him for advice and he thought I was sleeping with you.”

Logan blinked.

“Me? A-and you?”

The thought made his heart skip.

“How come everybody’s sleeping with me in these scenarios?”

But they’d covered that at the intermission last night. He shook his head to clear it.

“So James knew. Who else does?”  
Kendall slumped in his seat.

“Just you two. I’m sworn to secrecy. Not even Carlos knows.”

That was probably for the best. He loved Carlos like a brother but the guy couldn’t keep a secret to save his life. How he’d kept his feelings for James hidden for so long, Logan would never figure out. But given his own secret crush, he totally understood why.

For the next few weeks Kendall seemed to be just going through the motions during the day. He’d tried to sleep in his own bunk for a couple of nights but Logan always ended up coming up. Eventually Kendall took to climbing down to his. There Logan would hold him until morning.

It wasn’t long until James and Carlos noticed his funk and his three friends did everything in their power to cheer him up. Despite his mood, it was pretty hard not to crack a smile around them. Slowly but surely he began to return to his old self. They were approaching the end of the tour when he surprised everyone by asking if they wanted to ride their dirt bikes together.

A collective “Hell yeah!” was the response.

It was funny how a guy like Logan who was once prone to panic attacks at the slightest agitation had grown to love the adrenaline rush of dirt bikes. He had Kendall to thank for that.

“You ready to eat my dust, Loges?” Kendall joked as he strapped on his helmet.

Logan revved up his bike in response.

“In your dreams Kenny boy. In your dreams.”

James was still working on trying to get his helmet on without ruining his hair.

“Here, let me,” Carlos offered.

The two shared a look that read that bikes weren't the only thing that would be ridden tonight. Giving them privacy, Logan pretended not to see it. He had to admit, his friends were a great couple. Both were adventurous and a little bit zany yet James's worldly knowledge complimented Carlos's endearing innocence. They suited each other.

His analysis was cut short when Kendall sped off, blowing dust back in his wake. Oh it was on now! He roared after him, the speed feeling wonderful and freeing. They circled the empty field a few times before James and Carlos joined them. Then the competition heated up.

It didn’t take long before they were all racing, trying to out-do each other and attempting tricks. Carlos especially felt brave.

“Okay, watch me jump this hill right here!” he called before taking off.

He'd always been the daredevil of the group. They each pulled off their helmets for a better view. James yelled something at him but the sounds of their bikes drowned him out. Logan watched in a mixture of anxiousness and admiration as their friend did as he'd proclaimed, leaping the hill with success. It was definitely a stunt he'd never attempt. When Carlos strode back around he pulled off his helmet and high-fived everyone.

“Awesome!!” Kendall was impressed.  
James wore a heated look.

“That was so unbelievably hot,” he remarked before taking Carlos into another kiss.

Kendall smirked and turned to Logan.

“I have a feeling there are going to be a lot of moments like this.”

He had to agree. With James’s libido and Carlos's free spirit they were probably going to need to invest in some earplugs for the bus.

“Gotta admit. It would be nice though,” Kendall remarked.

Logan blinked.

“What, to see those two going at it for the rest of the tour?” he had never taken Kendall for the voyeur type.  
His blond friend chuckled.

“No, I mean to have your partner on tour with you. So you'd never have to miss them.”

Logan had thought about it during his Camille days.

“Yea it would definitely make things easier. But there's a downside too. Imagine trying to convince Camille that I wasn’t checking out that fan that flashed us last week.”

She most likely would've slapped him.

“I guess.”

Kendall gestured toward their kissing friends.

“Don't you ever wish that you could have that?”

If only he knew.

“I mean not that exactly but a girlfriend who could travel with us and understand what we've got going on here.”

Logan had a feeling he knew who Kendall was talking about.

“You mean like a certain manager's assistant?” he asked.

Kendall didn't look at him.  
“I never mentioned her.”

“Not specifically.”

“That was weeks ago. I'm over it now. But hey did we come out here to ride or to talk ancient history?”

He pulled his helmet back on before Logan could reply. Then he sped off toward the hill that Carlos had just jumped. Logan stared after him, a bad feeling growing in his gut. Kendall was moving awfully fast…

He was going to try Carlos's jump. Only he wasn’t Carlos. And he wasn’t totally focused. His mind was still on their exchange.

“Kendall wait!”  
His bike lifted off much too early and Logan’s heart stopped as the bike slammed directly into the side of the structure. Kendall flew over the rail onto the other side. Out of his view.

“Kendall!!!”

He didn't feel his legs move as he abandoned his own bike, shooting over to aid him. He found his bandmate on his back, cursing loudly in his helmet.

“Oh my god.”

Logan quickly snatched off Kendall's helmet and tossed it aside. His friend's face was twisted in a grimace.

“Don't move, okay. We have to see if anything's broken.”

Of course being on the stubborn side, Kendall ignored the directive and tried to sit up. When he did so he winced and quickly fell back.

“Fuck! My arm.”

Logan leaned in to inspect it. Carefully he slid his sleeve up. There was definitely swelling and the beginnings of a nasty bruise.

“This looks bad. We should get you to a doctor.”

“You think it's broken?” Kendall managed.

Logan wasn’t sure but it might be. As well as other bones. Again the image of Kendall flying over the front of his bike hit him and he went off.

“What were you thinking? You could've broken your neck, been paralyzed! You could've died!”

Kendall frowned.

“But I didn't.”

That careless remark sent his worry into outrage.

“Really? REALLY?! Kendall if anything happened to you don’t you know I'd—”

He didn’t know what to say so he just cut off.

“You need to be more careful!”

He was yelling. He didn’t mean to but his emotions were on ten. Of course Kendall resented being yelled at, especially when he was already in pain.

“Gee thanks, I'll keep that in mind, Mom.”

“This is serious!”

“No shit, I'm the one with a broken arm!”

“We should never have come out here. I knew dirt bikes were dangerous but _nooo_ I had to listen to you guys.”

And now Kendall was hurt.

“Well I didn’t hear you crying dangerous when Carlos tried it!”

“Carlos didn’t break his arm now did he?”

He could hear James and Carlos making it up the hill behind him. But his attention was rapt on Kendall.

“You're not Carlos. You can't do everything he does!”

Now Kendall was defensive.

“What are you saying he’s better than me?”

“Apparently at jumping hills!”

“Screw you Logan!”

“Yea that's right screw me for caring. Screw me for thinking of your well-being! Screw me for giving a damn!”

He jumped to his feet and stormed off, barely missing James as he huffed past him. Logan didn’t stop until he'd reached the bottom of the hill.

Frustrated and still scared to death, he ran his fingers through his hair. Seeing Kendall like that had messed with his head. The idea of his being seriously injured, of his potentially dying still had Logan's hands trembling.

He needed to calm down. To think rationally like the doctor he wanted to someday become. Those thoughts were interrupted when he heard them coming down. He turned to see that once again Kendall hadn't listened. He was cradling his arm but walking otherwise okay. James and Carlos flanked his sides.

“Hey, you weren't supposed to move until we saw if any other bones were broken,” he scolded.

Kendall rolled his eyes. He was especially bratty when he was hurt.

“If anything else was broken I think I'd know about it,” he smarted back.

James seemed to read their tension and tried to mediate.

“It's cool, Logan. He's fine.”

“No it is NOT cool. He is NOT fine. He could've died!!”

Logan felt his eyes stinging and hoped that he wouldn't cry.

“Why don't you get that? Kendall, you could've died!”

Feeling his eyes spilling over he turned away from his friends and again stormed away. He wasn’t sure why the water-works, only that the idea of losing Kendall had shaken him up to his core. His chest was heavy and he tried to take deep breaths to calm himself.

“Logan?”

Kendall had come up behind him.

“I um, I didn't mean to upset you.”

He wiped his eyes before turning to face him. Kendall was still cradling his arm but his expression was apologetic. Logan sniffled.

“I just wanted to have a good time. To feel better—”

Maybe it was the adrenaline. The rush of the scare or the emotion of the argument or the adorable green of Kendall’s eyes as he mumbled out his apology but Logan felt the sudden urge to do something crazy. Something he would never normally do. He didn’t think, just acted on pure impulse. One second Kendall was talking, the next Logan was on him, his lips taking his in a rush of a kiss.

Logan let his feelings go, his tongue probing inside until a surprised Kendall opened up and he pushed his way in. His mouth owned Kendall's for a moment as he kissed him with everything he had. The kiss was raw energy, passion, deep emotion that he'd held in for ages.

It wasn’t until he heard Carlos's, “Whoa!” that he realized what he was doing and pulled back.

His friends were behind Kendall, staring in surprise. And Kendall just stood there an expression of confusion and shock on his face. Now he was the deer in the headlights. Logan blinked, registering the three faces watching him. Realizing the gravity of the situation. Dear god he'd just kissed Kendall.

Panicking, he backed away from his friends before high-tailing it back to the bus altogether. There he locked himself in the bathroom and proceeded to call the only person he could think of when his panic attacks reached critical level.

“Hello?”

“Kelly, help me!”

Her tone elevated with worry.

“Logan, what's wrong?”

“I just kissed Kendall and I think his arm is broken!”

 


	8. Dangerous Territory

She wasn’t sure where to go first. Logan's panic attacks could get pretty bad. He'd passed out a few times in the early days. But if Kendall's arm was broken, he'd need to get to a hospital.

He'd need a doctor.

Kelly kept Logan on the phone, hoping her voice could calm him as she made her way to their location. She tried recalling positive and relaxing memories for him. Speaking in soothing tones. She even had him recite the entire periodic table to her. That seemed to help but he wouldn’t leave the bathroom. He couldn't face Kendall. As she tasked him with naming every bone, muscle and tendon in the human body she briefly placed him on hold to call James's cell.

“Kelly?” It was Carlos.

“Where's Kendall?”

“Um, sitting right here. But he can't really talk. He's kind of—”

“I know, you guys get to the bus. I'm on my way. I'll take him to the hospital in my van. Paparazzi and all. Just…can one of you check on Logan?”

“Uh…we sort of lost him,” Carlos confessed sheepishly.

“He's on the bus,” Kelly informed him.

“In the bathroom. Having a panic attack.”

That activated his protective mode.  
“I got him. James will stay with Kendall.”

“Thanks Carlos. I should be there in ten.”

She clicked back over to find Logan stuttering on the word “patella.”

“Logan, listen to me. Carlos is going to come sit with you okay?”

“Kelly I need you—”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can. But I need you to open the door when Carlos gets there. Can you do that for me?”

She heard him struggling to breath.

“Logan, Hon. Can you open the door for Carlos?”

After a moment he answered.

“Y-yea.”

Relief!

“Good, that's really good. Now do me a favor and unlock it now. So when he gets there he can come right to you. Can you do that?”

She waited for him to answer.

“I-I just did.”

“You're doing great, Hon,” she encouraged him.

Kelly remained on the line until Carlos arrived. Then she let him take over as she made another call. When she found the bus she pulled up beside it. Hurrying inside, she found James and Kendall seated at the table, the youngest of the band cradling his right arm. The second their eyes met she felt the tremor in her chest.

Fuck, she still wasn't over him.

She reigned it back, sure not to let him see.

“Do I want to know how that happened?” she asked him.

Kendall opened his mouth but nothing came out. He stared for a moment before James finally answered for him.

“Dirt bikes.”

Kelly nodded her understanding. Of course.

“Kendall go get in the van. I'm going to check on Logan.”

He still didn’t speak but left as instructed. James followed Kelly to the bathroom where she knocked softly on the door.

“It's me. Can I come in?”

Carlos answered her.

“Who's with you?”

He sounded every bit the protector she felt over the phone.

“James is here. Kendall is in the van.”

Muffled talking.

“Just you can come in,” Carlos announced.

James raised his eyebrows questioningly but backed away. Slowly Kelly slid the door open. Carlos and Logan were huddled on the floor together, Carlos's arm wrapped around him.

“Logan? You okay?”

He nodded.

“Yea, I'm okay. Sorry I didn't mean to spazz out like that.”

She shook her head.

“You don't have to apologize for your feelings, Hon. I just wanted to check in on you.”

She gave Carlos a grateful look. He seemed to have everything under control. Logan was breathing fine, his face was colored normally.

“I'll be at the emergency with Kendall. You stay here with Carlos and if you guys need anything James is right out here.”

Carlos gave him a supportive squeeze.

“I got you Logie.”

Logan responded with a weak smile but he seemed calm. Kelly bid them adios before shutting the door and starting off the bus. James caught her before she could exit.

“Kelly, can I talk to you really quick?”

She turned to him a bit taken back. Since when did James ask to talk to her?

“As long as it actually is really quick. Kendall needs a doctor,” she reminded him.

“It's about Kendall,” he remarked.  
She was all ears.

“Look, I'm the last one to meddle in other people's escapades but Kendall is like a brother to me and you really hurt him. Whatever arrangement you two had is none of my business but he felt something for you. And I know he still does. So if you could just go easy on him, and try not to reopen any wounds, you know. On the way to the hospital. Or after.”

She understood where he was coming from. He was looking out for Kendall. She couldn't blame him.

“I never meant to hurt him, you know that. What I did, breaking things off is actually best for him. So he can grow up, discover himself and the world. It may not seem like it now but I only did it because I care.”

James appeared skeptical, then thoughtful at her statement. It was clear he hadn't considered that angle.

“Did you explain that to Kendall?” he finally asked.

She hadn't. He read it on her face.  
“Maybe you should. Then he might feel less like thrown away trash.”

His eyes were serious and finally Kelly could see what Logan had meant when he'd once said that James could be pretty intimidating when you pushed him far enough. She could feel his protectiveness, the same protectiveness that she'd felt when she'd spotted him and that security guard flirting a month or so back.

“I will.”

She glanced toward the door.

“I'd better get to him.”

James stepped aside, allowing her passage. Kelly stopped at the bottom of the steps before turning back to him.

“You're a good friend, James. Kendall is lucky to have you.”

He accepted the compliment with a shrug and Kelly left him for the van.

* * *

 

Kendall was staring apprehensively at the bus when he saw her exit. Despite the pain in his arm he felt his heart skip. She still had this effect every time she entered his line of sight. Which she'd been avoiding ever since that night. In fact, today was the first time since then that she'd actually stood in the same room or spoken to him. He hadn't prepared for how he would act, what he would say.

She turned and said something to James, who was still on the bus. He shrugged in that way of his, casual but self-assured. Then Kelly started toward the van. Kendall quickly looked away. His eyes found a random tree outside the passenger window and he concentrated on it.

When she climbed in and shut the door her light sandalwood scent wafted his way. He ignored the goosebumps it brought to his skin.

“The closest emergency is twenty minutes away,” she told him.

“Hang tight and I'll have you there in fifteen.”

He'd missed her voice.

“Kendall, buckle up.”

He did so, still trying his best not to look at her. Kelly started up the van and they pulled off. For a full five minutes the ride was completely silent. Kendall focused on the throbbing in his arm rather than the pounding of his heart.

“So I hear you and Logan had an interesting day,” Kelly broke the ice.  
Kendall felt his face heat. He still wasn't sure how to process that. Logan had been his best friend since childhood. Never once had he ever given Kendall reason to think he might want to kiss him. It was beyond confusing.

“Don't do that,” Kendall remarked.

“You don't get to do that. You don’t get to ignore me for a month and then just come talk to me like nothing happened. Especially not about this.”

He hadn't meant to snap at her but he couldn't calm himself having her so near. The hurt was still fresh. The feeling of rejection still raw. Kelly was quiet for a moment.

“Okay. Fair enough,” she finally said.  
“I won't mention it. But if you could explain how this—” he could see her gesturing toward his arm from his peripheral—”happened that would be great.”

Kendall frowned.

“James already told you. Dirt bikes. I had an accident.”

“Obviously. You're lucky it's just your arm and not your neck. You could've been seriously injured!”

“Like you care.”

“Hey, I do care!”  
Her voice had escalated slightly. She wasn't mad but on her way to upset. Like she had any right to be.

“Yea, you care so much you just drop me and forget I exist for over a month,” he threw at her.

Kelly released an exasperated sigh.

“That was for your own good,” she explained.

“I thought it would be easier if you didn't have to see me.”

That set him off. He forgot not to look at her as he flipped her way.

“For my own good? Don't fucking patronize me like that! The only person this was supposed to be easy for was you because you're too much of a coward to face me!”

He couldn't help the sting in his eye but he'd be damned if he cried this time. He'd gotten that out of his system weeks ago. Kelly kept her eyes on the road but he could see the tension in her shoulders.

“You think I'm a coward? You have no idea how hard this has been for me, Kendall. You think I wanted to hurt you? That I like knowing that I caused you pain?”

Was she really trying to talk him about pain?

“Oh poor baby,” he mocked.

“It must be so hard deflowering guys and breaking their hearts.”

For a second Kelly glanced over at him, her eyes wide with surprise.

“What?”

He stared right back, still fuming. Kelly quickly remembered the road and faced forward again.

“You didn't tell me you were a virgin.”

It took him a moment to realize that he'd just told her now. Not the smoothest move for a guy. Not that it mattered anyway.

“The way you moved…and you were with Jo for a while, I just assumed…”

She seemed baffled.

“I mean no virgin can move his hips like that.”

Kelly shook her head. Despite his anger, her comment made Kendall blush.  
“I um... I didn't think it mattered,” he said quietly.

Kelly released a long breath.

“It doesn't now but, did you ever stop to think that maybe the feelings you felt for me is because you've never been all the way with anyone else?”

He dismissed the idea.

“What are you saying what I felt wasn't real?”

It had felt pretty damn real. Even now it still did.

“You know Kelly you're a piece of work. You can't take away my feelings just because you feel guilty about what you did. Plenty of guys lose their virginity every day and never feel what I feel for you. But hey if it helps you sleep at night then think whatever you want. I'm done.”

He turned away, watching the buildings fly by through his window. The lump was back in his throat, the heaviness back in his chest. God he hated feeling like this. He hated the pain. It almost distracted him from his throbbing arm.

Almost.

Kelly didn't say anything else the rest of the ride. When they got to the hospital they waited in silence for him to be seen. He stared down at his arm, at his lap, away to the television (a “Friends” rerun was on) and in any direction other than hers. He was still pretty peeved and very much hurt.

Once he was finally seen the doctor pronounced that his arm was indeed broken but it wasn't serious. They iced it for swelling and applied a plaster cast and sling. He was given a prescription for painkillers and discharged. By now it was dark out, the bus was at their next concert venue. The show had been postponed earlier when Kelly had gotten the call about his injury so at least he had the night off.

“The pharmacy closes at eight,” Kelly told him.

“We can just make it if we go straight there.”

Sounded like a plan. In order to avoid any recognition Kelly instructed him to stay in the car. She returned ten minutes later to inform him that the prescription would take no longer than an hour to fill.

“Here, put this on,” she handed him a blue and red baseball cap. He glanced at the Indians logo on the front.

“We should get something to eat. I saw a bistro a block ago. It didn't look like the type of place your fans would frequent.”

As it turned out, it was a cozy spot with an intimate feel to it. Nothing fancy but a decent, quiet place. Sure enough, the average customer base seemed to be later twenty-somethings. Kelly picked out a table in the back where eyes on the street couldn't see and they ordered their food. She had a grilled chicken wrap. Kendall had a turkey sandwich. As they ate in silence Kendall glanced up to find her watching him.

“What?”

She shook her head slightly.

“Nothing.”

When she went back to her wrap Kendall kept his eyes on her. It only took a few minutes for him to catch her gaze lift toward him again. She noticed him noticing her and averted her eyes.

“Okay you staring at me is starting to weird me out. What gives?”

Truthfully he wasn't weirded out but he was beginning to feel a little conscious of his eating. Did he have mayo on his mouth? Kelly set her wrap down.

“Sorry, I just can't believe you and Jo never…You don't move like a virgin.”

His face heated.

“Well I'm not a virgin anymore so why would I?”

“You know what I mean.”

He wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“Why are you even thinking about that? You dumped me, remember?”

She cleared her throat uncomfortably.

“I never really explained that.”

He recalled her words, the whole “mutually having fun” conversation.

“Oh I think you did. Something about it being just sex that couldn't go farther than it did,” he reminded her.

She glanced down at her lap.

“Right. Well I did say that. But it wasn't the whole truth.”

Her eyes met his.

“Kendall, I had to break things off because it was getting too deep. You said you loved me and I couldn't in good conscience let you go down that road. I mean you're about to be eighteen. You should be with girls your age, having flings and fun and discovering yourself.

“I said what I said because I thought a clean break was best. I figured you might hate me for a while but ultimately your life would be better off. And you know what, maybe I was scared too. Scared of what being with you would do to my reputation. And maybe I did avoid you more so because it was hard to face you. But in the end I only did what I did because I really do care about you.”

She found her drink and swallowed a mouthful. The confession had her unsettled. Or something did. Kendall felt a little wicked jolly at her discomfort suddenly. Like somehow he had finally gained the upper hand.

“You want to fuck me right now don't you?”

Kelly choked on her tea.

“What?” she sputtered.

He leaned closer over the table feeling rather mischievous.

“That's why you keep obsessing about my being a virgin when we first did it. You're thinking about me. About how I felt.”

He let his leg touch hers under the table.

“How I moved inside you.”

Kelly was trying to keep her cool but he saw that flash in her eye.

“The way I _show you_ ,” he reminded her of that first night.

Kelly bit her lip.

“Kendall—”

He reached over and took her hand. Let his thumb caress the top.

“Remember what you said to me that day that I had you right against the tourbus? How you couldn't look at me without thinking of—”

Kelly snatched her hand away before he could finish. But her uneven breath already told him what he needed to know. She definitely still wanted him. Bad.

He sat back in his seat, feeling vindicated.

“I guess we'd better go pick up my prescription before they close?”

Kelly finished off her water, visibly flustered. She managed a stern glare as she stood from the table.

“That was totally uncalled for,” she reprimanded.

Kendall took pleasure in the scolding, knowing where it came from. She was probably soaking through her panties right now.

“When I said it was over it was a done deal. You understand?”

He nodded, not attempting to hide his satisfaction.

“Never happen again. I got it weeks ago.”

It felt good to get back at her, to have her riled up over him now. Kelly straightened her skirt still unsettled.

“I'll be right back. Just finish your sandwich.”

He watched her walk off toward the restroom sign, smirking at the victory. He'd gotten to her. That was good. Now she would know what it felt like to want someone so bad but not be able to touch them.

Kendall was tempted to follow after her. To see if her defenses would hold once alone with him. But the memory of how their last encounter ended stopped him. To make love to her again only to have her leave him would be too much to bear. He couldn't go through that pain again. Especially now that Logan was being weird. He'd been the only reason Kendall had made it those first few weeks. But after that kiss today something told him that things had changed between them. They certainly couldn't share a bed anymore.

Kendall lifted his baseball cap and ran his fingers through his hair before pulling it back down. He didn't know what to do about Logan, or what to even think about that situation. He just knew that he didn't want to lose his friend and that if Kelly wasn't back in five minutes he just might go after her despite his reservations. He still had feelings for her. And if the only thing she could give was random sex then it was better than nothing. He would take whatever he could get.

* * *

 

Kelly splashed cold water on her face for the third time, trying to quell her hormones. Kendall had been right, she wanted nothing more than to sit on his dick and ride him til he couldn't speak but James's words kept her in check.

  
 _"_... _go easy on him and try not to reopen any wounds, you know. On the way to the hospital. Or after."_

  
If she went back now then she'd certainly be reopening a not so old wound. Because circumstances were no different now than they'd been when she'd broken things off the first time. She couldn't break his heart again. So Kelly took a paper towel and wiped herself down, willing her body to shut the fuck up.

 _I can handle this. I'm an adult, not some hormonal teenager_ , she thought.

Unlike Kendall who, despite being months away from legal adulthood would still carry a “teen” at the end of his age for two more years. She should've never gotten involved with him. Why hadn't she controlled herself that first time?

_Because who can resist the way he moves those hips?_

It was her first time touring with the boys and before then she'd only caught glimpses of their shows as she tended to be running errands and other matters for the band. But that night when she'd seen them perform “Show Me” she felt like she'd seen Kendall for the first time. Not as an annoying client of Roque Records, not as one of the goofball boys to look after but as an actual man. It had been her undoing.  
And now she was here, fighting an impossible urge to take him in this small town bistro. She didn't want to hurt him. But doing him once more would do just that. So she had to get a grip.

“I can do this.”

She dried her face, fixed her hair. Then she headed back out to face her green eyed kryptonite.

* * *

 

When he finally coaxed Logan out of the bathroom Carlos handled him with kid gloves. They shared a plate of Logan's favorite cookies and James brought them milk. The three sat at the table and chatted about light stuff before he finally asked; “Are you going to be okay when Kendall gets back?”

Logan swallowed.

“Yea, I have to face him sometime, right?”

He was much better than earlier, seemed to be back to his usual self.

“I just hope this didn't ruin anything, you know. He's been my best friend since as far back as I can remember. You all have.”

James nodded his understanding.

“I know the feeling. I was so terrified to tell Carlos how I really felt about him for years. To be honest, if he hadn't opened his mouth I would still be hiding it. I didn’t want to lose his friendship. Or make it weird.”

Carlos felt his heart warm at the confession. He and James shared a look.

“I would've never said anything if Logan hadn't told me too. Remember Logie, you said if I wanted to show a guy I loved him then I should ask him to dinner and a movie and kiss him?”

Logan chuckled at the recollection.

“Yea, but to be honest Kelly had me thinking you were in love with me. I had no idea about you and James. I'm glad it worked out this way though. I'd have had to let you down easy. My feelings for Kendall and all.”

Carlos couldn't help but to laugh.

“Well at least I know why you took his water instead of mine.”

It had seriously bugged him.

“You think Kendall might feel at least a smidgen of the same way?” Logan asked timidly.

“I mean, I know he's into girls but so were you guys before. And I'm kind of into both.”

Carlos thought on it. Before James he had never actually had anyone but he’d certainly appreciated the opposite sex. He just couldn't say they moved him the way James did. And that was before the mind-blowing sex.

“I can't speak for Kendall,” James remarked, “but I think that however he feels, he'll still want you in his life. You two have a bond. Always have. That won't disappear because of one kiss.”

“Which looked pretty awesome by the way,” Carlos complimented.

“Like you went for it. That was no Disney kiss.”

James smirked.  
“My boyfriend, connoisseur of Disney kisses.”

Carlos waved it off.

“If Kendall doesn't respond to that then he's a lost cause.”

He pat Logan's shoulder reassuringly.

“The only way Kendall could turn you down after that kiss was if he’s totally straight or if he's already in love with somebody else.”

Logan's face fell suddenly and he and James shared a look. Carlos caught it and felt that twinge like he was missing something.

“What?”

Logan buried his face in his hands.

“Fuck.”

James pat his other shoulder sympathetically.

“Hey, it's okay.”

Carlos stared at the two.

“It figures I finally come clean after he falls for her,” Logan remarked.

“They're not together,” James said.  
“It's over. You know that.”

Logan looked up from his hands at him.

“But he still loves her. They're only over because she said so. You saw him these last weeks. He'd jump at the chance to be back in her arms.”

Were they talking about Jo?

“Back in her bed,” James corrected.

“That's all it ever was. He only thinks he loves her because he never fucked anybody before.”

Wait what?

“Even if that's true,” Logan countered.

“It still doesn’t make his feelings less real. He cried in my arms those first nights. That was true heartbreak. Your heart doesn't break unless you love somebody.”

Okay they were talking around him and he didn't like that. Furthermore he was confused and he liked that even less. He stood and slammed his hands down on the table.

“Okay somebody please tell me what the hell you're talking about here? Because I'm totally lost.”

Logan covered his mouth, as if he realized he'd made an error. James was wearing his rare “oops” face.

“It's kind of not our secret to tell,” was all he said.

That pissed Carlos off.

“But you're my boyfriend. You have to tell me. We're not supposed to keep secrets.”

He looked at Logan.

“And you're my best friend. I tell you everything.”

“Kendall has to tell you because it's his secret,” Logan murmured.

“So why did he tell you guys and not me?”

He felt hurt at being excluded. Wasn't he Kendall's friend too?

“He didn't tell me, I figured it out. And James found out by accident. None of us are supposed to know.”

Carlos stared. Who was this woman? Why weren't they supposed to know about her?

“Why? What is she hiding? Is she some type of criminal or something? A bank robber? An assassin?”

He imagined Kendall dating a black ops chick with dark killer eyes. La Femme Nikita.

“No, no nothing like that,” James was smirking.

“What a fan? A fan's mom? Didn't you sleep with a fan's mom before? Is Kendall sleeping with your fan's mom?”

James shook his head.

“Carlitos, no.”

Another thought hit him and he felt his heart stop.

“Is it your mom? My mom? James is Kendall sleeping with my mom?!”

Logan covered his ears.

“Eww eww!”

“God no, it's Kelly okay!” James gave in.

“Kendall's been sleeping with Kelly.”  
He ran his fingers through his perfect hair.

“At least he was until a few weeks ago. Hence his depressed state as of late.”

Kelly. And Kendall. Wow. Totally unexpected. But much better than his mom.

“Hmm, I'd have thought if she did any of us it would be Logan,” he confessed.  
James shrugged in agreement before grabbing another cookie. Logan shook his head.

“You know what, I'm done asking.”

The guys finished off their snack and found other ways to bide the time. Carlos still found it odd that Kendall and Kelly had a thing but what business was it if his? If it made his friend happy right? Unfortunately that would make Logan unhappy though. And he wanted Logan to be happy too.

The guys were shooting zombies on the flat screen that Gustavo had provided to keep them occupied on the road when a thought crossed Carlos's mind.

“Hey, what you said about Kendall, do you think it's true?”

James was distracted.

“What?”

He growled at an oncoming zombie before taking it out.

“Ha!!”

“About Kendall loving Kelly because he never had sex before.”

Logan missed a zombie and cursed.

“Yea, it's pretty natural, well if the sex is really good. It's why in my wild days I tried not to do virgins. I didn't want to give anybody false hopes when my heart already had a home.”  
Carlos couldn't help the swelling in his chest at that. He leaned over and kissed James's cheek for it.

“Awww.”

Logan shook his head.

“Why’d you ask about Kendall?” he inquired.

Carlos stood.

“I think I know how to get you a fair shot at Kendall,” he announced.

Both James and Logan gave him their attention.

“Carlitos, what are you getting at?”

He was proud of his idea.

“If Kendall only loves Kelly because she’s the first woman he ever slept with then maybe if he sleeps with a guy he can love him too.”

The two stared at him disbelieving.

“The guy would be Logan of course,” he elaborated.

“That way the playing field would be even. And since you guys said Kelly dumped him anyway that'll leave Logan the winner.”

He raised his hands in victory, feeling the plan. It could work, he just knew it! Then Logan would be happy, Kendall would be happy and all would be right in the band.

“Um, Carlos I appreciate your effort,” Logan said slowly.

“But that's got to be the craziest thing I’ve heard all day. I can't get Kendall to fall in love with me by sleeping with him.”

Negative Nancy. He just needed a boost of confidence.

“Sure you can. You just gotta believe. You gotta get in there and rock his world.”

James was watching him in amazement.

“Only you.”  
Carlos raised an eyebrow.

“Only me what?”

But his boyfriend just smiled and admired him. Logan had a different take.

“This is insane. I can't seduce Kendall into falling in love with me by screwing him. That's not how things work in the real world.”

It was becoming clear that he was going to need more than a boost. Maybe assistance.

“Sure it does. James just said and we both know he knows what he's talking about.”

James shrugged smugly.

“I can't disagree with that.”

“We can help you. You know, if you feel like you don't have the skills,” Carlos offered.

Logan’s face went red.

“What?”

“James knows a lot about sex. And he definitely knows a lot about rocking worlds. I mean when we have sex it's beyond amazing. It's like the whole freaking world just explodes and—”

“Okay I get it,” Logan waved his hands shushing him.

“James is really good in bed. Eww.”

James made a face.

“Don't eww me.”

“Yea he is so if you need any pointers or advice or even demonstrations I'm sure he's more than willing to help.”

Logan was beyond beet red.

“Again thanks for the offer but I think I'll have to pass.”

He dropped his controller.

“ I'm just going to get some reading done now. Take a nap maybe. It's been a really long day.”

He left the common area, avoiding the both of their eyes and went to his bunk. Carlos frowned. He'd hoped his friend would be more receptive to his plan.

“Demonstrations?” James was looking at him.

“Babe, I think Logan thinks you want me to fuck him.”

Well that wasn't what he'd been trying to say at all!

“I didn't mean it that way. I just meant you could talk to him and teach him your tricks so he could do to Kendall what you do to me. I want him to be happy. And I want Kendall to be happy. He's been so sad lately.”

James stood and pulled him into an embrace.

“You have such a good heart you know that? It's part of why I love you so much.”

That made him feel good inside because he loved James too.

“Part of why you love me so much? What's the other part?” he asked.

James leaned down to kiss his lips. When he did so Carlos almost swooned.

“That you're just a little bit crazy. In the best possible way.”

Carlos accepted the compliment with another kiss. As their lips locked he could feel other places warming on his body. James seemed to feel it too and pulled away.

“We should be looking after Logan. Just in case he has another panic attack,” he breathed.

Carlos nodded. He had a job to do and couldn't be side-tracked.

“You're right. We need to take care of him.”

They needed to hook him up with Kendall. A naughty thought struck him then. Courtesy of his boyfriend.

“James, you love me right?”

“You know I do.”

“And you'd do anything to help a friend? If I asked?”

James answered without hesitation.

“I'd do anything for you. Especially if it meant helping a friend.”

He brushed a thumb down Carlos's cheek affectionately to further his point.

“How about helping Logan? You know, with his problem,” Carlos ran past him.

James didn't catch on for a moment.

“Of course I will. But I don't think he's in a talkative mood ride now.”

Carlos let a finger run up his muscular chest. James reacted with a light groan.

“No I don't mean talk to him. I mean…remember when you said Logan thinks I want to you fuck him?”

Their eyes met. Understanding dawned on his boyfriend's face.

“Wait you actually want me to?” his voice rose with the shock.

Carlos shook his head.

“Yes and no. I want _us_ to. You and me. To show him how to make Kendall happy.”

James was still taking it in he could see.

“The two of us? Like a threesome? With Logan?”

In order to help him it was a small price to pay.

“Why not? He's pretty cute, and you gotta admit getting hotter lately. We know he's clean and he's one of our best friends. Most importantly he needs this.”

James glanced over in the direction of the bunks.

“This is dangerous territory, Babe. He's our friend. It could complicate things.”

Carlos was sure that it wouldn't.

“It'll be okay.”

“What if we give him another panic attack?”

It wasn't like James to hesitate when it came to a sexual activity. He’d once pursued a threesome with two of the Jennifers so what made this different?

“You're afraid of ruining our friendship with Logan,” he realized.

James didn't hide his concern.

“Once we cross that line we can never go back. We'll still see him every day. We'll still remember. He'll still remember. Feelings could get complicated. One of us could get jealous. I don't want to lose him as a friend. And I'd die if I lost you. I literally just got you.”

His hazel eyes were sincere. So sincere that Carlos could feel his worry. But he could also feel that James was overthinking it. This was the same guy that spent four years hiding his love for him. And he'd earlier admitted that had Carlos not taken the initiative he'd still be hiding that love.

“James, baby I love you…but you're a big chicken.”

With that he took his boyfriend's hand and tugged him to the bunks where Logan lied on his back. When he saw them approach their friend sat up confused.

“Everything okay?” he asked, setting his book down.

Carlos sat on his left, signaled for James to sit on his right.

“Yea, it's all good Logie.”

He scooted closer.

“There's just something we want to help you with.”

James rested a hand on Logan's shoulder. Logan turned to him in time for James to take his mouth. Carlos bit his lip at the sight. That was kind of hot.

Startled, their friend pulled back.

“I-I-uh-Carlos—”

“Doesn't mind,” Carlos assured him, running his hand up Logan's thigh.  
Startled, Logan glanced down at the hand and swallowed. Before he had time for a remark, James turned his face back toward him and stole another kiss. This time Logan didn't pull away. Carlos found the soft lump of flesh hiding beneath Logan's pants. He cupped it firmly and felt him growing solid under his care. Logan moaned into James's mouth at the touch.

Oh yea, he could already tell, this was going to be the best night of their tour yet.

* * *

 

  
When Kelly emerged from the restroom she found Kendall had finished off his sandwich. She took her wrap in a to-go box, her appetite long gone. She'd quelled her hormones enough for the ride back to the pharmacy. She'd just have to see about the ride to the bus.

But first she was going to set him straight.

She waited until they were outside and away from where their conversation could be overheard before she smacked his good arm hard.

“Ow!”

He leaped away from her.

“Don't you ever do that to me again Kendall Knight, do you understand?”

He kept his distance.

“Geez Kelly are you trying to break my other arm?”

She glared in response.

“You're lucky I don't after what you just pulled in there,” she scolded.

Kendall pouted and were she not so agitated she'd think it was cute.

“In the car. Now. Let's just grab your prescription and get you back to the bus.”

She slammed the door behind her, inwardly admitting to herself that yes the pout was still very cute. He climbed in after her and fastened his seat belt.

“You're just mad because you want me.”

She ignored the quip, mostly because he was right, so right that she had to clench her legs together to fight her need. But she would fight it. Like James had warned, she didn't want to hurt him further.

They made it just in time to pick up his meds. Once that was secured Kelly high-tailed it back to the bus. Kendall hadn't said anything else but he'd been sending her knowing looks. The stunt at the bistro had pumped his head up somehow. Now he was milking it with a vengeance.  
This was his payback she realized. Exploiting her weakness. Trying to ignore him she turned the radio on.Usher and Nicki Minaj'as “Lil Freak” was playing.

_Oh come on!_

She started to turn it off but figured it would further feed Kendall's power trip. The best thing to do was pretend that it didn't bother her. She trained her eyes ahead on the road.

“Interesting choice of music,” he remarked.

“Shut up.”

“I miss you.”

She sighed, changed the subject.

“I know you said it's none of my business but how are you planning on handling this Logan thing?”

He didn't respond. Kelly slowed down for an oncoming red light.

“Look we both know how sensitive he can be. And after what happened today I think—”

The second she braked he was suddenly on her, kissing her wildly. Kelly gasped, feeling all of those feelings rushing her at once. Her hands left the wheel to clutch his face as she returned the fevered action.

It wasn’t until a horn blew behind them that they pulled away from each other. The light was green. Breathing hard, Kelly pulled off only instead of heading straight, she wound around to the nearest side street. There she shoved into park before meeting Kendall's fiery green gaze. The next thing she knew they were in the back of the van and she was reacquainted with those limber hips of his.


	9. Big Time Sex Lessons

Logan moaned loudly, his pleasure beyond real as James buried his face in his ass. His tongue was wet, slipping, sliding, gliding, licking and… oh god! He was on his knees before the bunk, Logan's legs draped over his shoulders. Carlos sat above him sixty-nine style, his mouth devouring Logan's prick. Likewise Logan took his but his concentration was torn between the double pleasure being dealt him. He'd never had anything like this before.

He swallowed and could taste the precum from Carlos's cock in his mouth. He welcomed it, all of it as his eyes fluttered shut with delight. When his friends had approached his bunk earlier he'd had no idea that it would result in this ecstasy.

James probed him more, getting in really good before tapping Carlos to shift. As the Latino moved over, his muscular boyfriend lifted their quarry from the bed with ease. Logan breathed, face to face with the hazel-eyed Adonis before James tore into his mouth. His lips were soft, firm, perfect. Carlos was laying out blankets, for their comfort and once done he pulled Logan down so that his back rested against him.

At their mercy, Logan gazed up to meet James's heat-filled stare. The look alone caused his cock to twitch. Carlos took Logan's hand and squeezed a thick glob of gel into it. Lube. For James. Anticipation rendered him clumsy as he reached for his friend's exceptionally sized prick. James caught him with finesse and placed Logan's trembling hand over his hardness. He licked his lips as Logan stroked the cool gel over his length. A slight breath eased out.

“Not so eww now, huh?” he couldn't help but to tease. His shy friend's face flushed.

There had never been anything eww about James Diamond.

As Logan stroked his cock up and down, Carlos reached around to caress his pale chest. He reached rosy nipples and began to play.

“Mmm.”

James spread Logan's legs further before bringing his prick to the tight entrance. All three parties watched in excitement as he gently pushed the head inside. Logan would've flinched had he not been distracted by Carlos’s busy hands. Pleasure zinged through him, accompanied by the new stretching of his anus. He'd never actually gone this far with a guy before, Camille being his only full-on intercourse. And with Kelly it had only been oral and hand jobs. But never had he been penetrated…

“Oh god…” he breathed, clasping the ends of the blanket in his hands.

James groaned low, still easing himself inside. His shoulders tensed with restraint. His eyes said that he wanted to ram himself hard into the tight heat enveloping him. But he didn't want to hurt Logan. Carlos was watching his reaction, growing hotter as it was. His fingers never stopped with their teasing. After an agonizing eternity, James was completely inside. He held himself together, allowing his friend to adjust to the intrusion.

“Logan?” his need dropped his tone an octave or so.

He saw Carlos bite his lip in response. Logan’s eyes weren't focused, his breath shallow as tan fingers turned his nipples to rock candy. But the substantial dick in his ass had likewise rendered him speechless. James reached down to cup his face with one hand. Logan's eyes focused enough to meet his and the sheer pleasure there was enough to make his brown eyes water. Hazel eyes burrowed their lust and Logan gave a desperate nod.

James began to stroke.

The sound from Logan's throat was half whimper half moan. His head fell back into Carlos and he lost it. James let his hands run down tight abs as he ventured in and out of the smaller man beneath him. Like Carlos he was very much vocal but his submission was different entirely. It was a complete surrender almost a helplessness to every sensation. While his Carlitos charged right into it with an apt hunger, Logan allowed it to take him. His body was putty, he controlled no reactions.

Literally Carlos and James were running him. The notion brought fire to his groin and he stroked deeper.  
When Logan moaned Carlos groaned. James caught his eye and the two began to eye-fuck. Carlos's cock leaked against Logan's back. He licked his lips and James gave a deep thrust.  
When he looked like that it always made his Latino crazy. Smoothly Carlos shifted Logan to lie down on his back before scooting his body up to sit on his good friend's face. Caught up in the moment, Logan took the hint and began eating him just as he'd felt James do.

Carlos leaned forward, his Spanish eyes burning as he took Logan's prick into his mouth again. His pale friend gasped and arched upward. But James gripped his waist and held him tight. The three of them moaned in unison.  
Wet noises of suction, slurping and flesh on flesh filled the air as groans, grunts and moans accompanied them. When Logan began to tense up Carlos sat up and gave him leeway. No one wanted this to end yet.

His lips hit James's with a force and the two nearly sucked out each other's tongues. Logan was all in his ass again and had Carlos been thinking he'd swear Logan was no stranger to this type of eating but his hormones demanded his entire brain power. Too excited to hold on any longer he broke away from James's kiss to shift once again.

“The bed,” he directed, “I want Logie to fuck me while you fuck him.”

James obliged, helping a sex-dazed Logan up to change positions. Carlos lied at the bunk's edge, giving full access. Logan was breathing hard as he leaned over him. Their eyes locked. Behind him James reached around to stroke lube over his starving prick. Logan gasped at his touch, at James's lips at the side of his neck. Suckling, kissing, leaving what would be a massive hickie in the morning.

“Shit...” but he couldn't manage another word.

Carlos reached up to grab at his left pec and squeeze. His legs inched up impatiently, begging to be filled. He didn't have to speak. Their eyes still locked, Logan understood and did as desired.

They both cried out upon entry. Logan didn't stop until he was buried within. He barely had time to register the tight feel when James was back inside of him as well.

At the literal double whammy, Logan damn near burst. Carlos took his face in his hands and pulled their lips together in earnest.

“Fuck me, Logie,” he demanded before stealing his mouth.

Powerless to resist, Logan did as asked. Thrusting into Carlos as James thrust into him. Unable to hold back. Again the air bore the sound of skin slapping against skin, groans and grunts and a few harshly whispered swears.

Then Logan's breaths sped up. His kisses got sloppier. Carlos was flooded with excitement as he recognized that his friend was going to cum. The thought was bringing him dangerously close himself. He squeezed him tighter both inside and out.

He felt his friend shudder with delirium.

“Oh god…fuck I-I—”

He grasped a handful of Logan's dark hair and bucked into his thrusts. Groaning and bringing him closer. Behind him, James took notice and his thrusts grew stronger. Harder. Relentless.

Logan came with a scream, spilling hot cannon fire into Carlos is spasms. He tried to close his eyes but Latin irises held his and he could not look away. Something sparked and James was cursing out in a growl. He pressed his muscular body against his friend as he came deep inside him.

Hearing the two of them lose it sent Carlos sprawling. As he took the last of Logan's climax he felt himself go, spraying his and Logan's abdomens with his seed. The strokes didn't stop until all three had completely emptied out.

Huffing and puffing, totally spent they lied against each other for a while. James was the first to move, scooting to lie back beside Carlos. Logan twitched at his removal from his ass. To feel such fullness then to lose it...he missed him already.

Carlos smiled up at him. He couldn't help but to smile back. It took him a second to remember their surroundings and Logan rolled off to his other side.

“So endeth the lesson,” Carlos announced proudly.

Three of them chuckled lightly before moving to clean themselves up.

* * *

 

He wasn't sure which way he liked her more. She'd ridden him, he'd been on top, they'd tried a couple of spoon and side positions. Of course he'd hit it from the back.

“Kendall, you're arm,” Kelly gasped as she rode his lap once more.

All he felt was her tight wetness clenching on his dick.

“Fuck my arm.”

So they'd disregarded it the entire evening as they fucked like long lost lovers. Then again they were that weren't they? After making her cum extra hard on his cock yet again Kendall rested his back against the wall of the van. Kelly was still on his lap, her legs wrapped around him.

Their foreheads touched as she caught her breath.

“This isn't just sex anymore is it?” he prodded.

She didn't answer, possibly because she couldn't.

“You do have feelings for me.”  
Her eyes met his and he saw the truth. It made his heart leap.

“I can't feel this way about you, Kendall. It's too dangerous. For me, for my career—for your career,” she confessed.

“Big Time Rush doesn't need a big time scandal. And you dating me would be that.”

He shook his head.

“Justin Timberlake dated Cameron Diaz. Ashton Kutcher married Demi Moore. And those chicks were way older than you when it happened.”  
He took the opportunity to nuzzle his nose to hers.

“But not nearly as hot.”

She managed a smile in his arms.

“But those guys weren't as young as you either.”

His birthday was in two months.

“Come November that won't matter,” he promised.

Kelly sighed. He let his fingers play on her bare back.

“Gustavo would have my head. And your mother would have the rest of me.”

He hadn't thought about them.

“Once I'm eighteen they have no say in what I do. And I'm Gustavo’s meal ticket. Okay, one-fourth of his meal ticket. If he has a problem with us he can go shove it. I'm sure the guys will back me up.”

That earned another grimace from his lover.

“Oh my god, James is going to kill me.”

James? Kendall felt his chest clinch with a hint of jealousy.

“What's James got to do with anything?”

He'd know if they had history. James would've certainly said something. And Kelly, well he liked to think she would.

“Oh while you were waiting in the car he asked me not to hurt you again. You guys are only a year apart but I picked up a protective big brother vibe.”

Well they had grown up together.

“I guess we are like brothers,” he agreed.

Though most of the time he was the mature one, not James.  
Kelly gave him a concerned look.

“Then one of you is feeling a little incestuous.”

He knew what she was speaking of but he wasn't sure how to deal with it.

“Logan's been my best friend since we were little,” he remarked.

“He'll always be my best friend. I just don't know what to say about him kissing me.”

She read his puzzlement and brushed his sweat soaked hair back.

“How do you feel about it? The kiss?”

He shrugged.

“Confused. Like where did that come from?”

She nodded patiently before asking; “Did you like it?”

Kendall wasn't sure how to answer. He'd been so blown away by the act that he hadn't quite allowed himself to evaluate the kiss.

“I, I don't know.”

He rested his head against the van wall.

“It happened so fast that I couldn't even think. Then he was kissing me and I was standing there and I didn't know what to do.”

He remembered Logan's lips on his, his tongue flooding his mouth.

“I mean, it wasn't bad or anything.”

Not in the least. In fact if it had been Kelly he'd have been so hard he would've stabbed through his pants.

“But I'm not into guys.”

Kelly was still finger-brushing his hair.

“You're seventeen Kendall. With a lot of exploring to do. Don't let me be the reason you don't do that.”

He only wanted to discover more of her.

“What so you're saying I should explore with Logan?” he asked incredulously.

“After what we just did you're passing me off to him?”

She shook her head, rolling her eyes at his assumption.

“No, that's not what I'm saying. I just meant that I don't want to be an obstacle on your path to self discovery. Sexuality isn't always black and white. Sometimes people linger in the gray areas, you know.”

He considered her words.

“Maybe. But I'm pretty confident that I'm into girls. I thought Logan was too until today. I guess that's what's really messing with my head. I thought I knew him—everything about him then he goes and shows me that I don't. Like when did he start falling in this gray area? After Camille?”

He was legitimately baffled.

“Maybe that's something the two of you need to talk about. Together.”  
She did have a point. Logan was the only one who could provide actual answers. Well, full answers anyway. But maybe he could use a cheatsheet.

“You and Logan are pretty close too. Special bond and all?” he asked.  
Kelly raised a dubious eyebrow.

“Yea?”

“So odds are you may know more about this gray area of his,” he speculated.

She tilted her head evasively.

“And if I did?”

Kendall had a feeling that was the case.

“Then maybe you can help me out here. Give me a little insight?”

He hoped she would agree. He needed something. After a moment Kelly gave a resignated sigh.

“Without breaching his trust, I can just say that Logan went through a confusing time for a while but he's got himself sorted out. That stuff I said about self discovery? He had to go through it.”

Kendall spoke the first question on his mind.

“Why didn't he come to me?”

The years of having his back had to have solidified a trust between them. They could share anything.

“Kendall, you're the object of his crush, he couldn't come to you.”

Oh. Right.

“Logan and I talked a lot during that time and I'm proud of him for facing it,” she added.

“You talked about his crush on me?”

“Among other things, yea.”

Kendall frowned, realizing what that meant.

“Won't he be pretty upset with you now that you and I—” he gestured toward their naked bodies.

Kelly shrugged sadly.

“He said that he was over you. Clearly that wasn't the case.”

Clearly.

“I um, guess I should tell you that he figured it out that night when I went crazy. He didn't seem mad then but he didn't seem like he wanted to kiss me either.”

Kelly closed her eyes, let out an exasperated sigh.

“So Logan and James know. Only a matter of time before Carlos does too. Then the whole freaking tour.”

He saw the fretting on her face and tried to calm it. Bringing himself closer, his lips back to her worry drawn mouth. His kiss was one of confidence and reassurance. He would never let anyone hurt her.

“Hey, they've kept our secret this far. And even if Carlos finds out, when it really counts he can keep his mouth shut too. The guys have our back.”

He could never doubt them. Kelly still seemed a bit worried but her body had softened considerably after the kiss. She sat there, enjoying their closeness. He was still inside her. Kendall reached up to squeeze her closer when a pain seized his arm again.

“Ow, damnit!”

He'd forgotten his injury in lieu of the rabid lovemaking but now that the adrenaline was fading his pain was coming back full force. Kelly moved to climb off of him as if she were the cause of his pain. Instinctively he moved to stop her.

“Your meds,” she reminded him.

Kendall let her go and she half climbed into the front seat. He watched her bare ass as she leaned over the cushion.

“Got it. Oh there's a half finished bottle of smart water up here if you want to take your pills now. Don't worry, it was mine in case you're concerned about backwash.”

She turned back to hand him the bottle. She then opened his pills herself and dropped two on her hand.

“Open up.”

Kendall took his meds gratefully before finishing off the remainder of the water. It was warm but it got the pills down.

“We need to get back,” Kelly noted.

He was less than thrilled but after their marathon and with his arm seeking vengeance Kendall was beginning to feel drowsy. With Kelly's assistance he redressed and the two of them headed back to the bus. It was around 2am when they arrived. They shared a deep goodnight kiss before he departed the vehicle.

“I'll see you in the morning?” Kendall couldn't help but to ask.

He couldn't take her disappearing on him again.

“And for the rest of the day” she replied, causing him to grin widely.

Kelly smiled before driving off for the management team, and Kendall boarded the bus in heaven.


	10. Subtle Changes

Everyone was fast asleep when Kendall boarded the bus. He took a look around, pausing at his and Logan's bunks. His friend was dead to the world. He noticed that for the first time Logan was sleeping shirtless, usually he was self-conscious about his body opting for a t-shirt and boxers. He had no reason to be. His torso exposed, revealed the muscle developing on the once skinny brainiac. Kendall noticed that he was catching up with Carlos in the buff department. When had Logan changed so much?

  
Tossing his bag of meds on the table he took a look around. He found James and Carlos spooning in bed, both clad in their boxers as well. James had a muscular arm wrapped around his boyfriend tight. Kendall remembered what Kelly had said about him being protective and had to smile.

As he made his way back to his bunk the exhausted teen decided that it was a good thing that no one was awake. That way he could avoid explanations of what had taken so long at the emergency and what he would do about Logan. He tossed off his clothes and climbed up to his bunk single-handedly. Lying on his back, he stared at the ceiling in reminiscence. So much had happened in just one day. His arm, Logan kissing him, he and Kelly reuniting. He wasn’t sure what any of it would bring but he was certain of one thing. This had been the most exciting tour they'd had.

As expected when morning arrived Kendall was the last to rise. He woke to find three concerned faces hovering over him.

Annoyed, he turned his back to them, which sent a jolt of pain shooting up his broken arm.

“Ow, shit!”

Kendall rolled back into his previous position facing the ceiling. Logan ran to grab his pain meds and a water from the mini-fridge. He handed it to Kendall wordlessly. He sat up and his bandmates watched him swallow two pills glumly.

“So it's broken,” James noted.

“That sucks man.”

“Sorry,” Carlos agreed.

Logan eyed the cast.

“How serious is the fracture?”

Kendall shrugged.

“Doctor said it’s not that serious. Come on, I play hockey. I’ve had worse.”

He glanced at Carlos.

“You've sooo had worse.”

That earned a proud smile from his friend.

“Yep!”  
James rested an elbow on Kendall's bunk.

“You're okay then?” he asked and Kendall knew that he wasn't talking about his arm.

He was talking about Kelly.

“Yea, better than ever.”

James narrowed his eyes, studying his friend dubiously. He wasn't a fool. He sent Kendall a “we'll talk later” look, none too pleased. Carlos was too stoked to notice but Logan cleared his throat.

“There are waffles if you're hungry,” he offered.

Kendall was grateful to escape James's scrutiny.

“Sure, I'm starving!”

He'd expected things to be a little more awkward after the kiss. The Logan he knew wouldn't be able to bring himself to look at him without hyperventilating until they cleared up the mess. Hell, he'd just had a panic attack the day before. But Logan was more confident today. Sure he didn't quite make conversation but he’d spoken and he'd made brief eye contact before looking away.

“Kelly booked us a hotel since the show was postponed,” Carlos told him as Kendall ate.

“Check-in is in an hour.”

Cool. He could use a real bed and a decent shower. With their crazy touring schedule Gustavo felt it barely made sense to check into hotel after hotel for hours at a time so he'd installed a mini shower on the bus. The catch was that showers were timed and with four guys that didn't quite work. Especially with James “My body is a temple of perfection” Diamond and Carlos “Yay playing in water is fun” Garcia. But seeing as they'd be sitting out for another night Gustavo had apparently loosened the purse strings.

About time.

“She came by?” Kendall asked wondering how she'd managed to awaken and be dressed enough for a visit before he had even opened his eyes.

Carlos shook his head.

“She called. Passed the message through Logie.”

“Oh.”

So she and Logan had talked. He wondered if they’d talked about him.

“You and Logan should room together.”

Carlos's not so subtle nudge caused Kendall to swallow something down the wrong pipe. He coughed, and James reached behind him to pat his back. Logan shot Carlos a look .

“You okay?” he asked Kendall when the fit was over.

“Yea, I'm fine. Juice just went down the wrong way.”

Logan didn't look convinced. He glanced up at James, who still stood behind Kendall and they shared a look.

“Carlos, you want to come back to my bunk for a minute?” James asked.  
His boyfriend practically popped out of his seat.

“See you guys.”

Kendall kept his eyes on his plate until the two were gone.

“So…I guess this is the part where we talk about yesterday,” he glanced up at his best friend's face.

Logan’s cheeks held a slight reddish tent as he shrugged.

“I, um guess I should explain.”

He cleared his throat as if in preparation to make a big speech. Kendall wasn't used to making his friends nervous.

“Kissing is kind of self explanatory,” he remarked.

He’d meant for the joke to lighten the mood.

“Yea, I guess it is. ” Logan ran an anxious hand through his hair.

There was an awkward pause. Okay he should say something.

“It caught me by surprise. I never would've thought that you saw me…well I was surprised. It was a good kiss though.”

“Yea?”

“Yea,” he answered honestly.

“And if I were into guys I'd totally be into it but…”

A disappointed Logan nodded his understanding.

“I know. You're into girls. It's okay. I guess it was good to get it out in the open though.”

He was handling this very well. Better than Kendall would've thought. Hell better than yesterday.

“I just hope this won't make things different between us. We've been through so much together. I still consider you my best friend, Kendall.”  
He reached across the table and took the blonde’s hand. Kendall accepted it with relief. He’d been hoping for the same thing.

  
“Of course, Loges. Always.”

And just like that all was well again. He had his best friend. He had Kelly back. James and Carlos had each other. Kendall finished his breakfast with a sense of elation. Things couldn't be any better.

* * *

 

Gustavo may have paid for the rooms but he didn't have a say in who slept where. Of course management had their own quarters but for the boys there were only two rooms. He'd known that Kelly couldn't be open and share a room with him but he hoped he could sneak into hers.

  
Now that he and Logan were okay it didn't matter that they shared a room. Oddly there was no more awkwardness, as if Logan’s mind were elsewhere. He didn't seem bothered, just preoccupied.

  
Carlos was being annoying though, giving the both of them conspiratory looks as if they had something planned. Finally Logan gave him a cutt-off motion and their Latino friend frowned. James took his shoulder and guided him into their own room.

“He was banking on us hooking up,” Logan explained as he dropped his suitcase by the bed.

Kendall shook his head, amused. Only Carlos.

“I'm guessing you and Kelly are back on?”

Kendall kicked off his shoes.

“Did she tell you when she called earlier?” he liked the idea of Kelly admitting it to someone.

It meant she wasn't ashamed of him.

“Sort of. She wanted to know if I was okay with it after the whole kiss thing.”

“So you guys talked about me.”

Logan smirked at his enthusiasm.

“Oh yea we couldn't stop saying your name,” he joked.

Whatever.

“So what did she say about me? To you?”

His friend theatrically rolled his eyes.

“Oh my god Kendall you're like a thirteen year old girl right now.”

But the smile on his face showed it was all in good humor. Kendall tossed a pillow at him in response, missing his head by an inch.

“Wow and you throw like one too.”

That was it. He tackled his friend to the bed and attacked single-armed with the remaining pillow. As when they usually horse-played, Kendall had the upper hand. He always ended up the winner unless Carlos intervened. He expected as much this time but was surprised when Logan managed to pin him down. He moved to flip him but his friend maintained his hold.

“Ha!” Logan cheered.

When had he gotten so strong? Kendall started to ask him if he'd been eating extra spinach or something when their suite door opened.

“Okay who dropped their keycard right outsi—”

James paused.

“Oh am I interrupting something?”

“Just me kicking Kendall's ass,” Logan laughed and rolled off of him.

Kendall threw a fake kick before smiling up at James.

“Hey, my arm's still injured. What's up?”

James raised the keycard in his hand.

“One of you dropped this right in front of your door. You're lucky I'm the one that walked in instead of Carlos.”

Kendall had opened the door so that meant it was Logan's.

“Oh, god he'd have been salivating at the mouth,” Logan joked as he helped Kendall to his feet.

“Why does he want us together anyway?” Kendall wondered.

James shrugged.

“He just wants you both to be happy.”

He handed Logan his keycard.

“I'm pretty happy,” he murmured so low that Kendall almost didn't catch it.

He leaned into James as he spoke, resting a hand on his muscular shoulder. James licked his lips. If it were anyone but Logan he'd mistake the interaction as flirting.

“And Kendall is definitely happy. Right?” he added.

James turned his attention to him, suspicion in his hazel eyes. Kendall remembered the look earlier and braced himself. He was about to get a lecture.

“I noticed,” James said, watching him.

“Hey Loges, can you give us a second? I need to talk to Kendall about something.”

About Kelly. And by what she'd told him James had said yesterday it wasn't going to be a congratulations.

“Look James, I know you mean well, ” Kendall started but his friend cut him off.

“Don't make me say this in front of Logan after yesterday.”

He was serious. Logan took the hint and backed toward the door.

“I'm just going to go hang with Carlos for a bit.”

Still avoiding all conflicts. At least that hadn't changed about him. After the door shut, James went on.

“Did you fuck her again?”

Wow, that was blunt.

“Did you fuck Carlos?” he shot back defensively.

James sighed.

“She hurt you, Kendall. Do you not remember the past few weeks? You were a mess.”

He remembered. All the more reason to be happy now.

“We worked it out.”  
James folded his arms tightly.

“Yea I bet. Doggy style or pony?”

“Shut up!”

His friend took a deep calming breath.

“Look, I didn't come here to attack you. I just don't like seeing you hurt and with Kelly I see that happening. Again.”

Kendall hoped he could convince him otherwise.

“She explained everything. It's the age thing but as long as we're discreet about it everything will be fine.”

“Because you do discreet so well.”

“Hey, I didn't actually tell anyone but you and that was because I thought you already knew.”

James shook his head.

“That's not what I meant,” he clarified.

“The way you were carrying on before all puppy-like, staring openly and going off on Logan in a jealous fit mid-show. That's not discretion.”

He had a point there. But it didn't matter. The past was just that, the past.

“I have a better perspective now. We talked. And speaking of talking, I heard you had a few words to say yesterday. To Kelly.”

James was unapologetic.

“I told her not to hurt you anymore. I'd tell her again if she was right here. I'll tell her next time I see her.”

While he appreciated his caring, there was no need for all of that. Kelly had no intention of hurting him ever again.

“You don't have to do that,” Kendall remarked.

“She explained everything. The only reason why she said those things was because she thought I should get over her and discover life or whatever. She cares about me. She did what she thought was best for me.”

James scoffed.

“And fucking you at the hospital with a broken arm was best for you?”

He was feeling defensive again.

“We didn't even fuck at the hospital, it was in the van!”

James's eyes widened.

“I mean—” shit he shouldn't have said that.

“Jesus Christ Kendall!”

He ran his fingers through his hair. And it was still perfect.

“You're really in love with her, aren't you?” his tone was significantly softer, ripe with empathy.

Kendall couldn’t say. He remembered the last time he had things didn't go so well.

“When I'm with her it's like nothing I've ever felt before,” he admitted.

“Not with Jo or any of the girls back in Minnesota. It's more than just sex.”

James came closer, reading him like a book.

“How would you know? You've never had sex with anyone else.”

He knew because…he just knew.

“I feel it in here,” Kendall slapped his own chest, signifying his heart.

“And nothing you or Kelly or anybody else says will make that go away.”

James didn't say anything but his eyes said it all. He was beyond worried for him.

“If she hurts you again it's a wrap. I mean it. I like Kelly and all but I can't stand to see any of you guys upset like you were.”

“She won't,” he assured him.

“She'd better not.”

“Hey who died and made you big brother?”

James shrugged.

“I was born before you,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“Age ain't nothing but a number,” Kendall quoted.

“Yea well I have a higher number of experiences in the love department than you do.”

“Only if your heart's located in your in your pants,” Kendall retorted.

James opened his mouth, had no defense.

“Well I've had more people fall in love with me,” he finally came back.

Kendall smirked.

“Yea…no fans don't count. And f.y.i there are way more ‘Marry me Kendall' signs than James signs out there.”

“You want me to kick your ass like Logan did, don't you?” James laughed.

The mood lightened, Kendall relaxed onto his bed.

“When did he get so strong anyway?”

James shrugged a shoulder.

“Maybe he's always been but never had the confidence to know it.”

Possible.

“He seem a little different to you today?”

James sat down beside him.

“How so?”

Kendall wasn't sure.

“I don't know. He took it pretty well when I told him I wasn't into guys. After what happened yesterday that was a surprise. A nice one but still.”

James looked thoughtful.

“Hmm.”

That was all he offered. Kendall rested his arms behind his head as he lied back. He immediately caught a whiff of himself.

“God, I need a shower.”

James barely noticed.

“I'm going to take advantage of all of this hot water at our disposal before Gustavo sends us back to the bus.”

He hopped up and went for his suitcase. James was still lost in his thoughts when Kendall left him for the shower.

“Don't get your cast wet,” he finally called from the other side of the bathroom door.

“Yes mother,” Kendall joked back, as he stepped into the warmth of the steady spray.


	11. Big Brother

“You should stay out of it, James. You've already said your piece.”

James turned to Carlos, his mind made up. Ever since he'd seen Kendall come back all smiles and love-struck, he knew what he and Kelly had done. And though he had no qualms about two people getting it on, Kendall was clearly in over his head.

“This coming from the guy who wanted us to sleep with Logan so he could seduce Kendall?”

His boyfriend didn't see the correlation.

“I was helping two friends come together. You're trying to tear two people apart.”

So naïve his Carlitos could be at times.

He just didn't get it.

“She tore him apart when she broke his heart three weeks ago. Nothing has changed since then. She's still older, he's still seventeen—”

“You slept with plenty of older women,” Carlos reminded him.

“But I didn't fall in love with them,” James pointed out.

“The only person I ever loved is you. But Kendall, you saw how torn up he was the first time. Since then what's changed? She’s still older, still keeping it on the hush and what do you think is going to happen when the tour ends and we go back home? When he tells Mama Knight or Gustavo or Griffin who his new love is? Think Kelly will give up everything for him?”

Carlos was pained, at a loss for words. James glanced over at Logan who was sitting quietly on Carlos's bed.

“You know I'm right.”

Logan stared down at his hands.

“She really does have feelings for him though. When we talked earlier she said as much. I don't think it's just sex to her either.”

Of course Logan would take the least confrontational route. Big surprise there.

“I don't doubt she does but look at the situation,” James pointed out.

“She's just starting her career, her reputation, she works for Gustavo Rocque. She's going to eventually decide that a little underage dick is not worth the scandal and dump him again. Kendall truly loves her and I can't just watch him be destroyed like that.”

Thankfully Kendall was still showering. He couldn't afford for him to walk up and hear this conversation.

“But if he loves her and you break them up then you'll be destroying him,” Carlos argued.

“And the James I know would never do that.”

He reached up to touch James's face, his brown eyes pleading.

“You can't do this. You can't hurt Kendall like that.”  
James stared right back, his heart conflicted. He wanted to protect him, to keep him from the insurmountable pain that this love affair would cause. It would only hurt worse the longer they carried on. What if next time Kendall didn't bounce back?

“You don't know for sure that she's going to hurt him,” Carlos told him.

“You can't know anything for certain. What if you send her away and break Kendall's heart but she wasn't going to dump him? What if this time around it's going to be different? Then you'll be responsible James. Can you live with that?”

When James tried to look away, Carlos held his jaw tighter.

“Logie says that she actually has feelings for him. I believe him. I believe in love. Kendall and Kelly deserve a shot.”

Those Latin eyes held conviction. His Carlitos would not be swayed.

“But what if you're both wrong?” James asked.

“And he comes out even more broken than before?”

Carlos had an answer for that.

“Then he'll have the three of us here to patch him back up. Because that's what friends do.”

Or friends could protect him by removing the threat before it got too far.

“I can't—”

“What if people would've judged us by your past actions? What if I would've listened when they said that you were just a playboy looking to get his dick wet? What if Kendall would've—in an effort to protect me from your whorish ways—broken us up? You can't just decide for other people that they don't belong together. No matter how much you want to protect them.”

He was right. James knew it but he just couldn't take seeing Kendall hurt again. He sighed his resignation.

“People said I was whorish?” he asked, slightly offended.

Carlos brushed them off.

“It doesn't matter what they said about you. What matters is that I love you. And if Kendall or Logan had sent you away I'd never forgive them.”

That hit home. The only thing worse than his friends being hurt was his friends being hurt and never speaking to him again. Giving in to his love, James sighed.

“Okay, I won't tell her to leave. If Kendall is happy then who am I to interfere?”

His words earned him a kiss to his lips.

“Thank you,” Carlos whispered.

He gave James an affectionate squeeze. James felt warm where he touched. God his Carlitos had no idea how much he loved him.

“Hey, when Kendall finishes up why don't we go out to lunch?” Carlos switched modes just that easily.

It sounded like a plan.

“Logie, can you run it by him? See what he’s in the mood for?”

Logan stood.

“Sure. I think I might want to freshen up a little bit too though.”

He headed for the door. James lifted his own arm and sniffed.

“That makes three of us.”

He was already in his suitcase for his organic fancy body scrub and various skin care products. Logan shook his head.

“Uh, Carlos I think we may have to change those lunch plans to dinner by the time James gets finished,” he joked.

When his boyfriend laughed James mock glared at the two of them.

“Say what you want but all of this—” he gestured toward himself—“needs to stay fabulous.”

He gathered his things as Logan took off still chuckling.

“You want to join?” he offered his Latin lover.

Carlos offered a peck on the lips.

“Give me a minute.”

He nodded and proceeded to the bathroom, thankful that he'd found someone who could be more stubborn than he was.

* * *

  
“Logie? You okay?”

Carlos had caught him in the hall just before he reentered his suite. Logan paused at the door.

“Uh, yea. I'm fine.”

He leaned in closer to his friend.

“I mean, all this Kendall and Kelly talk. After all we did to get you two together.”

Logan read his concern.

“It's okay. I always knew there was a chance he'd say no. Besides…it wasn't that bad, the—um— work we put in to get me and Kendall together.”

He was remembering the night's activity. Carlos couldn’t hide his smile at the memory as well. He caught Logan's eyes on his lips.

“I uh, suppose it was a one-time thing.”

He was asking. Carlos spoke before thinking.

“It doesn't have to be.”

He saw the excitement light in Logan's eye.

“Shouldn't you check with James first?”

Why bother? He'd be down for it. He'd had a good time last night as well.

“Check if James Diamond wants to have sex?”

Logan got the message and smirked.

“Does Carlos Garcia like corndogs?” he joked in response.

The two shared a laugh before Carlos touched his shoulder.

“Just let me know if you need anything, though. Even just to talk. I know how hard it is to watch the guy you want to be with chasing a girl and giving her a part of him that you can only dream of having. Well in my case multiple hers but someone else either way.”

Understanding lit Logan's features.

“All those years, you loved James and you had to see all those girls. Hear all those stories.”

He seemed like he wanted to move in and comfort him.

“And you're stuck hearing about how much Kendall loves Kelly,” Carlos recognized.

It was probably more painful. At least James hadn't loved any of his conquests. The two shared an understanding then, one that their bandmates could never truly grasp. Because Carlos was a virgin before James, his boyfriend had never had to suffer through knowing others were intimate with the one he loved. Not like Carlos had. Not like Logan was right now.

Out of the blue Logan threw his arms around him. He could feel his emotion rippling through his skin, through his clothes. Emotion that he wouldn't reveal to Kendall or even James.

Always going with his instincts, Carlos hugged him right back.

They stayed that way, offering each other moral support for a long time. Kendall had to be out of the shower by now and James might be finished with his hair at least by the time they separated. Carlos saw appreciation in Logan's eyes and knew that their bond had somehow deepened before heading back to James.

* * *

  
Kelly had just finished drying her hair when there was a knock on her door. Clad in only her bathrobe she peeked out the peephole to find no one there.  
She gave no thought to opening the door to glimpse outside. Was Kendall trying to surprise her? What she found on the other end was a lone envelope. Curious, she opened it as she stepped back into her suite.

Could it be a love letter? Some romantic gesture from her young lover?

After last night in the van he was especially lit. She’d caught him bouncing at the counter during check-in. When they'd crossed gazes his had held green fire and promises of a sequel.

As she began to read, however she found the letter held a cold chill.

  
LEAVE THE TOUR TONIGHT OR GRIFFIN, GUSTAVO AND MRS. KNIGHT WILL KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING WITH HER BABY BOY.

  
Her heart stopped. Who'd sent this? So far only two people knew—Logan and James and Logan would never…James? She considered it but no, he would come to her directly, not hide behind a letter. But who else could know?

She felt her world crashing. They had been pretty sloppy, what with her in his dressing room twice, then outside the tourbus and finally in the van. Any one of those times someone could've heard. Oh god.

She liked Kendall, a lot. After their reconnection she couldn't lie to herself anymore. But he was still a couple of months shy of eighteen. And he was still a quarter of the biggest teen pop sensation currently. This could destroy not only her but everything she, Gustavo and the boys had built.

Kelly reread the letter a few more times, bile rising in her throat. She had no choice here. If Gustavo didn't get rid of her Griffin definitely would and Mrs. Knight? Hell had no fury like a Mama Bear protecting her young! Kendall was her only son, still sweet and possessing a Minnesota charm that was almost innocent compared to L.A. She would have Kelly thrown under the jail if she didn't hunt her down herself.

_I should've never gone to his dressing room that night._

Had she known things would go this far she'd have settled for her personal massager. Now she'd created an impossible mess. There was only one way out of it.

_James is really going to hate me now._

But Kendall, god Kendall was going to be crushed. The thought of hurting him again, of breaking his heart…And Logan, they'd had a heart to heart about things. He'd assured her that as long as she made Kendall happy and promised never to make him cry again he'd be okay with them. Now she had to break that promise.

The boys would never forgive her. Not even sweet Carlos once Logan and James had their say. That thought actually broke her and she collapsed against the wall in tears.

* * *

  
Lunch was a blast. Just like old times they ate, they joked, they signed a few autographs and howled when Logan's cheese string stretched nearly the length of his arm. Carlos attempted to decorate James's face with pepperoni and his boyfriend screamed about oil and grease being detrimental to his flawless skin.

It was the happiest Kendall had been in a long time. After leaving the pizza joint the guys plotted their night. Carlos wanted to go out, James wanted to make him happy and Logan just went with the flow. Kendall was eager to see Kelly again so he declined the outing.

“Come on, it'll be fun,” Carlos urged.

“For the first time we'll be watching Logan pick up action instead of James.”

Logan made a face.

“I'm not looking for action tonight,” he said too quickly.

Carlos smirked knowingly.

“Uh huh.”

Kendall glanced down at his phone and texted Kelly that he was on his way to see her.

“Hey, off the phone, dude. It's guys' time,” James gave him a playful shove.

“Yea, Kelly's not going anywhere,” Carlos agreed.

Kendall froze where he stood. Had Carlos just….

“Oh yea, he knows,” Logan said dismissively.

“Happened while you were at the hospital. It wasn't me.”

He whirled on James.

“You swore!”

James threw his hands up.

“Hey I had no choice. He accused you of sleeping with his mother. I had to tell him something.”

Kendall couldn't believe his friend’s big mouth. Kelly was not going to be thrilled.

“You can't tell anybody, Carlos, understand?” he had to stop this secret from spreading.

“Kelly could get in a lot of trouble.”

Carlos waved it off with a laugh.

“Yea yea I know, Jailbait.”

Were none of his friends taking this seriously?

“I mean it guys. If it were to get out before my birthday she'd be ruined. I could lose her! Don't you care?”

He wasn't sure why his heart was pounding suddenly but it was. James gave him a careful look.

“Of course we care. Kelly is our friend too,” Logan sounded hurt.

Carlos chimed in.

“Yea, we’d never say anything to get her in trouble.”

Logan's arm rested around Kendall's shoulder.

“We're a family. And that included Kelly long before you two started hooking up. It won't stop now.”

That made him feel better. For the most part. He glanced down at his phone. She hadn't texted him back.

“So is she your girlfriend now?” Carlos wondered.

“Like officially but secretly?”

Kendall looked up from his phone.

“Um well…”

They still hadn't talked that out. She’d just admitted that she had real feelings for him. That was huge enough in his book.

“We haven't had the chance to talk that over yet.”

“What with all that screwing between the van and the hospital,” James grumbled.  
Carlos swatted his arm scoldingly but Kendall had heard enough.

“Okay you know what James? Screw you! First you run your mouth to Kelly then you run your mouth to Carlos and today you're just being an ass. Why don't you mind your own fucking business?”

Carlos stepped between them.

“Hey—"

“Mind my fucking business?” James’s voice rose with indignation, “You made it my business when you came begging my advice because she wouldn't even look at you after the first time! Or how about when she ignored you this last time? You made it all of our business when you damn near went into a depressive state in the middle of our tour.”

Kendall bristled at the reminder.

“I wasn't…” but he had no comeback.  
That made him even angrier.

“Just back off okay!”

James threw his hands in the air in surrender.  
“Fine! You want me to back off, I'll back off. Excuse me for giving a damn and trying to protect your whiny ass!”

Whiny? Who was he calling whiny?!

James stormed off in a huff, leaving Carlos to chase after. Not willing to lose the last word, Kendall yelled after him.

“I don't need your protection! I don't need anything from you!”

James didn't look back but his middle finger did. Kendall shot one right back. James of course couldn't see it. Still fuming, Kendall turned to the only person left at the scene. Logan stood with his hands in his pockets, his eyes watching him sadly.

“What? You have something to say too?” he snapped.

His blood was pumping, he was ready for another fight if need be. But Logan shook his head.

“No.”

Somehow his friend's melancholy deflated him. Kendall sighed.

“Sorry. It's just James you know.”

Logan barely shrugged. They stood there in the middle of the sidewalk for a few minutes in silence. Kendall took the opportunity to check his phone again. Why wasn't she texting back?

“Go see her already.”

Kendall looked up at him.

“Huh?”

“You're obviously on edge because you want to see Kelly. You keep checking your phone for her messages. Just go.”  
He wanted to but something about Logan's demeanor gave him pause.

“Are you alright?”

“I'm fine just go see about your girl.”

He wasn't sure about leaving Logan alone like this in a strange city.

“How about we head back to the hotel together,” he suggested.

Kelly was back at the hotel, so was their room. It made sense. Logan shook his head.

“No I think I'm going to get some air. I'll be back later.”

It wasn't until he offered a smile that Kendall felt reassured. He was probably going to a comic shop or something.

“Okay. I'll see you later.”

Logan was turning his head when he noticed something just beneath the high collar of his shirt.

“Oh, you got something on your neck,” Kendall told him before hurrying off.

He didn't see Logan clap his hand over the mark, nor the blush that colored his cheeks.

  
It didn't take long to get back to the hotel. Kendall wasted no time and headed straight for Kelly's room. What he found when he arrived was a wide open door and the sound of a vacuum. Confused, Kendall ventured inside.

A small Latino housekeeper was cleaning the place up. Apprehension built up inside as he noticed the lack of suitcases. No shoes by the bed. He waved to get the woman's attention.

“Oh!”

She was startled and quickly shut off the appliance.

“May I help you?”

“The woman that's staying in this room, where is she?”

The housekeeper furrowed her brows.

“Sorry, I don't know anything about the guests. I just clean up when they check out.”

Check out? That had to be a mistake.

“No no see she didn't check out,” Kendall explained.

“There has to be a mistake. Kelly wouldn't leave.”

The housekeeper appeared to be around his mom's age. Her brown eyes were patient.  
“Sorry but that's not what my boss says. Maybe call her and see where she is.”

He would do that. Stepping out of the room he found her in his contacts and hit call.

“Hi this is Kelly, I'm unable to answer right now but if you'll leave a message…”

He left a message. Or two. Or ten. By the twenty-third he was ready to panic. Where was she? Why wasn't she answering? Could something have happened to her? Thinking of nothing else, he called the only authority higher than Kelly here. Gustavo. As usual, their producer was in a sour mood.

“This better be a dire emergency because—”

“I think something happened to Kelly,” Kendall sputtered.

Gustavo groaned.

“Yea, I already know. A family emergency. Now I have to figure out who's going to keep you idiots in line for the rest of the tour while I hunt for her stand-in.”

Family emergency?

“What emergency? Is everything okay?”

“If it was then it wouldn't be an emergency now would it?” Gustavo growled.

Kendall grabbed at his own hair, a horrible feeling building.

The more Gustavo talked the more it didn't make sense. Why wouldn't she just tell him what was happening? If she had time to call Gustavo then she had time to text him at the least.

“…and if I have to come out there and finish this tour with you dogs then know that I will not tolerate…”

Finish the tour? With Gustavo? That meant that she wouldn’t be coming back. Kelly had left the tour. Without so much as a text, a call or a warning. A raw pain hit his chest inside and Kendall dropped his phone. He couldn't breathe.

There was no family emergency. She was just gone. Again.


	13. Man Up

Just like the last time, Logan held him. He caught every tear in the center of his chest when Kendall finally broke down. There was nothing more to do but hold him. Stroke his hair. Be there.

The next few days were a disaster. James was having a meltdown over his bruise. Logan was wearing high collars to prevent fans from seeing his hickie. Carlos was trying to appease his boyfriend the best he could. And Kendall...

Without Kelly overseeing things times got crossed, interviews missed, the traveling schedule faltered.

Gustavo had no one to fill in and it was pretty clear that, though he was their manager (amongst other things) it was Kelly that made things function. After a week the studio sent a hotshot UCLA business grad by the name of Winston. Though he wasn't the friendliest, he managed to get things back on track as far as the schedule went. But he was helpless when it came to handling the guys.

As James had predicted, Kendall was worse than before. He constantly called Kelly when he thought no one was looking, (it went straight to voicemail) barely ate and hardly spoke through interviews. The only time he managed to muster his old energy was onstage, giving the fans just enough to scream their little heads off. But those closest to him could see. He was not okay. Things went on this way until the last week of the tour. There were only three more stops, the final being their homecoming, back in L.A.

Logan had managed to get Kendall out of bed when James suggested they all go out. Maybe some music and (non-choreographed) dancing and meeting girls would help alleviate his funk. It had always worked for them in the past. Of course Kendall had resisted but his friends wouldn’t take no for an answer. They ended up at a spot called The Gypsy, where James’s hazel eyes was enough to get them in the door without issue. Apparently his charm didn't just work on women.

“Okay, so I'm here,” Kendall frowned.

“What now?”

Though Logan stood closest to him it was James who answered.

“Now we have some fun.”

Their first stop was the bar. Again working his magic (and maybe using their celebrity status too) James scored a few drinks for the group. Logan was hesitant, he wasn't much of a drinker, but Carlos chugged it happily. They encouraged Kendall to do the same.

“There are two ways to get over someone,” James lectured.

“The mopey, eat ice cream and sink into the abyss way. Or the MAN's way.”

He clinked his glass against Kendall's.

“It's time you man up, buddy.”

When he tilted Kendall's glass, his friend gave him a look. James returned it, not backing down. Kendall sighed and tipped his head back, finishing the drink in one sitting.

“All right, that's what I'm talking about!”

James wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

“Come on, let me show you how to really get over a broken heart.”

He winked at the others before dragging Kendall off to the dance floor. Briefly Kendall glanced back at Logan—he'd been his like a security blanket since the breakup—but Logan nodded for him to go. It wasn't necessarily that he approved of James's methods but something had to give.

He watched as the two intermingled into the crowd.

“Finish your drink,” Carlos gave him a playful tap on his chest.

Logan glanced over at him.

“What?”

His friend gestured toward the drink. Logan took two swallows and set it back down.

“He's going to be okay, Logie. He got through it the first time. He's stronger than you think.”

Logan sighed.

“I just hate seeing him like this.”

“Yea. I guess I'd be the same though if James ever left me.”

That would never happen.

“But he is better than he was when she first left,” Carlos noted.

“And that we have you to thank for.”

Logan shook his head. He didn't deserve thanks.

“Hey, why don't you enjoy yourself, pick up a girl…or a guy tonight? You're still single. Enjoy it.”

“I'm not here for me. I'm here for Kendall.”

Carlos was watching him with perceptive eyes. Often times he was so wrapped up in his own crazy world that people forgot the Latino had a brain.

“Don't look at me like that,” Logan remarked.

“Like what?”

“Like you know what I'm thinking.”

“I don't know what you're thinking.”

“Then stop looking like you do. Because you don't.”

But he felt like he did. Like he could see right through him. Like he knew. Instead of responding, Carlos slid Logan's drink closer.

“You need to relax.”

Their eyes met. Just like with the water and the kidney stones, Carlos was not going to let up. Giving in, Logan downed the rest of his drink. It burned as it went down and he coughed afterward.

“Happy now?”

Carlos gave him a mischievous wink.

“It's a start.”

He was just as relentless as his boyfriend.

“You and James totally belong together you know that?”

He was treated to a smile in response.

“I still think you and Kendall belong together. If you would just do like I told you.”

Sleep with Kendall to make him magically fall in love with him. Riiiight.

“You do know that Kendall is totally straight right? In order to get him in bed he has to want to get in the bed with me,” Logan pointed out.

Carlos shrugged as if it were a minor detail.

“He sleeps in your bed all the time now that Kelly's gone.”

“That's different, it's not for that. He just needs comfort, you know somebody to hold him. Like his mom used to do.”

Carlos waved the bartender over and ordered two more drinks. When they received them he pushed one toward him. Sighing, Logan took it and downed half. That earned a look of approval from his friend.

“Mama Knight never kissed him like you did that day he broke his arm though.”

Heat burned his cheeks at the reminder.

“God I just want to forget that whole damn day,” Logan groaned.

He'd raved at Kendall like a madman then kissed him in front of their friends but the panic attack took the cake. It was not his proudest moment.

“I don't know, it wasn't all bad,” Carlos finished his drink easily.

“I mean, the dirt bikes were fun. The kiss was hot and that evening was pretty amazing.”

That evening had been mind blowing. Logan still remembered the feel of James inside him, of Carlos wrapped tight around him. He finished his second drink.

“Did you, um talk to James about…”

He didn't have to finish. Carlos knew what he was asking.

“I figured I'd wait til this whole Kendall thing blew over. He's kind of been attached to you lately.”

Logan felt a mixture of gratification and guilt at that statement.

“Yea, that might weird him out.”

He glanced back at the dancefloor for the man in question. He found him moving along with James to the fast beat of some pop diva. James was good at coaxing the moves out of him and Kendall actually looked to be loosening up.

“Hey, come on.”

Suddenly Logan found himself being pulled out to the floor as well. With a light buzz coming on he offered no resistance. Carlos stopped by their friends before taking Logan's waist and pulling him into a dance. James glanced over and they shared a smile.

They probably had this planned all along. Sneaky brats.

The next song to play was up-tempo as well. The bass was heavy, the melody rich demanding heavy movement of the hips. Many a girl had already gotten to twerking. Logan let Carlos lead him, knowing the Latino was much better at dancing than he was. Especially when it came to moving his hips. James was already in the zone, as usual garnering the attention of those around him. He had Kendall's shoulders and the two fell in sync. Logan couldn't help but to smile then; it was feeling like old times again.

The next few selections were just as amped. Before he knew it they were sweating, laughing and switching dance partners. Logan fell in with James as he traded Kendall to some girl who'd been lingering around. Carlos didn't mind, having acquired a fit blond himself. Logan glanced at James for a reaction but he was the definition of secure.

“So am I going to have to hook you up too?” he leaned in to ask.

Logan laughed it off.

“Like I told Carlos, I'm not here for me tonight.”

“Don't worry about Kendall, I got him. You've had him all this time. Take the night off.”

From caring about his best friend?

“I appreciate that but I’m good. Thanks.”

“You need to get laid, Loges,” James said bluntly.

“If I'm not mistaken the last time you had any action was with me and Carlos, right?”

Not true. His hand had served him a few times after that. Well, damn James had a point.

“I've been pretty busy if you haven't noticed,” he defended himself.

“My best friend is in crisis. I mean it's not like I have a boyfriend on tour with me that can do me whenever I want like some people.”

Instead of responding, James put a finger to Logan's lips to shush him. Logan raised an eyebrow. When James spun him around he briefly lost his footing and crashed into his hard body.

“Dude—” he started to complain but when he glanced up it wasn't James’s eyes catching his.

“Oh, uh…”

The blue eyed stranger wrapped one arm around his waist and pulled him in.

“Just go with it,” he advised as he moved the both of their bodies.

Logan started to pull away but the buzz kicked in and he relaxed. This was just dancing. It didn’t mean anything. Besides, it felt pretty nice.

“Haven't seen you here before,” Blondie remarked.

“First time?”

He nodded.

“Figures. I'd remember a hot guy like you.”

That made Logan blush. It seemed more and more people were calling him hot lately. He wasn't sure what it was; he had been working out with Carlos a bit but he was nothing like James. Cute was usually how he heard himself described.

But hot? Wow.

The compliment earned his partner another dance. They were getting a little closer when he glimpsed Kendall back at the bar. There were a couple of girls all over him. They were all doing shots.

“Your boyfriend?”

He was brought back to Blondie.

“Huh?”

“That cute guy with the eyebrows at the bar. He's important to you.”

“He's my best friend.”

Skeptical eyes watched him.

“That all?”

All it could ever be.

“Since childhood yea. He's going through a rough time so we brought him out.”

He noticed one girl grope Kendall and winced. Kendall didn't seem to mind though.

“Whatever's got him down he seems to be forgetting about it now.”

A hand on his chin turned Logan's face back to his new acquaintance.

“So maybe you should too.”

He didn't move when soft lips met his, dominating his mouth. Logan paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. He never kissed strange guys. Hell not even strange girls. He could barely even use strange bathrooms. But things seemed to be changing this tour. He was experiencing more than he would have imagined before.

He'd kissed Kendall, passed a kidney stone and what he'd done with James and Carlos... It was like a whole new world had opened to him. Like he was brave. Adventurous. Feeling adventurous now he decided to throw caution to the wind and kiss back. What the hell. If Kendall was going to get laid then he should too. He'd earned it.

He could feel his partner moaning into his mouth as their kiss intensified. Strong hands grasped him, pulling him in tighter. By the end of the song a muscular leg was nestled between his. Both parties were panting from the dancing and arousal.

What if he wants to take me home? Am I really going to do it?

Blondie took his arm as soon as the music changed, enthusiastically yanking him toward the dark hall beyond the dancefloor. There was nothing to do but follow. The hall wasn't completely empty, there were a few other couples who had the same idea, kissing and canoodling under the dim light. Logan stared wide-eyed at a guy going down on another in the back corner. He hoped Blondie didn't expect him to do that in a public space.

“Hey wait—”

But his back was pushed into the wall, lips were on his again and this time he was the one that moaned. He hadn't been kissed with such earnest in a long time. Touched with such lust. When James had kissed him it was smooth and seductive not desperate for him. And when Carlos had kissed him it was…damn the thought of Carlos's hot kiss as Logan had filled him brought out a whole new heat. He yanked at Blondie's shirt to pull it open.

“I can't wait to taste you,” his acquaintance groaned into his mouth.

His hand was at Logan's groin kneading and cupping his growing hardness. Logan closed his eyes and let the feeling take him. His moan was almost a whimper. God he needed this!

He was beginning to grind into the touch when suddenly it was gone.

“Don't stop—”

He opened his eyes in time to see Kendall punching his partner to the ground.

“What the—”

“You touch him again and—and—and you better not!”

Was he fucking drunk?

Blondie may have been bigger but it was clearly all show in the face of a fight. He scooted away from Kendall before coming to his feet.

“You said he wasn't your boyfriend!” he lobbied at Logan.

“He's not!”

Blondie wiped his bloody nose. Kendall had hit him that hard.

“Yea whatever. I don't know what sick game you two are playing but leave me out of it!”

He scurried off, avoiding Kendall with a wide berth. Logan stared in disbelief, his mind confused, his body sexually frustrated.

“Kendall, what the fuck?”

His best friend glared after the retreating blond before turning back to him.

“He won't bother you no more.”

Exactly the problem.

“I wanted him to bother me. Why did you do that?”

Kendall was confused.

“What, save you from the creepy perv?”

Save him? More like severely cockblock.

“He wasn't creepy. He was nice.”

And fit and ready to give me something I desperately need right now.

“Not creepy? I saw him snatch you from the dancefloor. Then I find him pinning you against the wall like that. He was going to tear your pants off Loges.”

Oh god was he.

“Yea, I wanted him to!”

Kendall stared now with an expression so full of shock that it was almost comical. Were he not in danger of suffering from a case of blue balls he might have laughed.

“But you don't know him.”

“I was about to know him pretty well until you showed up.”

His erection pressed almost painfully against his jeans as a reminder.

“But you don't do…W-what are you James now? I don't understand. When did you change so much?”

Change? He wasn’t sure what his friend meant and was frankly too distracted to try to decipher it. He just wanted to go somewhere private and take care of the raging boner in his pants.

“You're drunk Kendall. Why don't we find James and Carlos and get you back to the hotel.”

He took his taller shoulder and started to guide him back toward the front of the club when Kendall stalled stubbornly.

“No, I am not drunk,” the alcohol was heavy on his breath, “and you didn't answer my question.”

He was really doing this now.

“Oh my god can this wait? At least until you're sober and I'm more clear headed?”

That pout, shit Kendall could be such a brat sometimes! But damnit if it wasn't sexy right now.

“I'm sober. You're not sober. I'm the soberest guy here. I'm not the one that went and changed.”

Drunkenly he grasped Logan's biceps.

“I'm not the one that got all muscly. I'm not the one that goes kissing my best friend. I'm not the one that started letting bleached out guys molest me in seedy clubs.”

He shook Logan roughly, refusing to release his arms.

“Why are you changing so much? Why is everything changing so much?”

Before Logan could reply Kendall pulled him into a bear hug. He squeezed him close as if he would float away if he let go.

“When things change, people leave. They always leave. I don't want you to leave me, Loges. Please don't leave me.”

His face was buried in Kendall's chest making it just a bit difficult to breathe. His best friend's scent filled him and he had to turn his head to the side for air. But his cheek was still pressed against him, their bodies so close he could feel the vibration when Kendall repeated; “Please don't leave me.”

He spoke the truest words in his life.

“I could never leave you, Kendall. I love you.”

Things happened in slow motion then. Kendall was pulling away, just enough so that their eyes could meet. Startled, slightly glazed green stared into warm and adoring brown. Logan could see his uncertainty, the familiar uncertainty he'd felt himself when he'd first noticed how pink Kendall's lips were. Or began to admire the cut of lean muscle at his trim waist when they went surfing.

Those pink lips came closer. Logan met them with tenderness, catching them and building a tentative kiss. He could swear he felt his blond friend's breath hitch. He knew it was the alcohol. There was no way Kendall would kiss him like this but at the moment he didn't care. He was buzzed and horny and the object of his affection was finally giving him some affection back. If this could last for the next fifty years it wouldn't be enough.

He was the first to open his mouth. Cautiously Kendall explored, pushing his tongue in to mate with his. Then they were kissing, truly kissing not the one-sided event from the day of the dirt bikes. The taste of alcohol, of mint chapstick and Kendall coated him. His hand trailed up his friend's back, clutching the material of his shirt.

He could fall into him and that would be great. Fall into him in more ways than one. As the kiss continued he was aware of his own erection between their bodies. As close as Kendall held him, he had to feel it too. But what was he going to do about it?

Testing the waters ever so slightly he brushed his hardness against his friend. Kendall didn't back away. Didn't break the kiss and stutter something about not being into guys or how this was a mistake. Briefly he did pause though as if considering something.

Probably realizing how big a mistake this is.

Logan prepared for the inevitable coldness that would follow after Kendall pulled away. It would hurt but it wouldn't be the first time he'd rejected him.

That rejection never came.

Instead he felt a hand move from his back to find its way down the front of his pants. Logan gasped out loud when his best friend touched him over the fabric. Rubbing, groping. Then undoing his fly.

His body heat tripled. Excitement threatened to take him over way too soon. Logan moaned, a bit too needy in his own ears, when Kendall made contact with his bare skin. A thumb circled his head for a moment, collecting the heavy amount of precum already seeping from his twitching cock. Then he released it from its confines and began to stroke.

Logan saw stars. His hips bucked hard into Kendall's fist, a mixture of a whine and a grunt escaping from his throat. He repeated the noise, unable to help himself. This was a dream, a delicious dream that would see him awake and extra wet in the front of his boxers in the morning. Kendall continued the kiss even as he wound him up and up into a simpering mess. He had no control over his pelvis or his voice as Kendall jerked him. When it became too much his head fell back into the wall. He was practically screaming it felt so damn good. And then he was flying, cumming with such a vengeance he couldn't even breathe. Kendall didn't relent until his fluid finished shooting, until he gasped for over-stimulation.

Dazed, Logan dared to open his eyes. He found Kendall staring right into him. Neither dropped his gaze. Then he felt it. Against his abdomen, the unmistakable pressure of another fully awakened prick. Kendall's fully awakened prick. Was that for him?

Now that he'd been relieved, Logan could think a little better. He worried briefly of what this would mean in the morning, how Kendall would look at him, where they would go from there. But the hunger in those sparkling greens, the totally uninhibited curiosity…he wasn't strong enough to resist. He threw his mouth back onto Kendall's for another kiss then fell to his knees before him. Kendall gave a shaky breath when Logan undid his jeans. He could feel his friend's anticipation, his excitement protruding through his gray boxers. The feeling was mutual.

He scooted his jeans down to his thighs, took in the sight that was Kendall Knight. Hard, only slightly curved upward, a bead of clear moisture at his tip. Surrounded by dark blond hair. Logan made sure to surround him with something else.

He felt Kendall’s body tremor when he swallowed him whole, heard his groan over the music. Eager fingers slipped into his hair, running it through. He moaned contentedly at those fingers as he proceeded to suck Kendall off with all that he had.

“Hmmm!”

His friend couldn't hold still. His hips began to whip, thrusting into Logan's willing throat.

“Lo…Lo…Logan...”

The way he breathed his name.

This wasn't a game. Despite the distant bass of some Lady GaGa tune Kendall's voice carried. He wasn't the quiet type at all. And the alcohol didn't help. The more noises he made the more heat Logan felt coursing through himself. He'd already cum by Kendall's hand tonight but if he kept making those groans Logan was sure to cum again.

Kendall was face fucking him now. Damn could those hips move. He’d seen Kendall dance plenty of times but never had he been this up close and personal with the movement, the swerve. Just imagining those hips pumping into his other opening with such rhythm caused Logan to groan out loud. The vibration got a rise out of the blond. His fist tightened in his hair as his pace sped up.

Kendall lasted a little longer than he had (pardon him for being a bit too excited) but the alcohol and the sheer rush of newness got to him and he was suddenly calling out. His cock pulsed harshly in Logan's mouth, heavy load of liquid salt pouring down his throat.

He was sure to swallow everything Kendall offered.

His friend gave one last spurt before pulling out. Dutifully Logan tucked him back into his pants, adjusting the both of their clothes as he stood.

When their eyes connected again he saw appreciation in Kendall, an affection he'd never seen in him for all their years of friendship. Enamored by it, he pressed a hand to his friend's hot cheek.

“Let's get back to the hotel okay?”

Kendall nodded, his face still flushed from orgasm. He'd text Carlos and James from the car that they'd headed back. As he guided Kendall out to the parking lot Logan tried not to worry about what the morning would bring. For now he was happy to have Kendall, to have shared such intimacy with him.

Briefly he caught a glimpse of the hot blond that had almost taken him in the hall. Blondie noticed them and rolled his eyes knowingly. Poor guy. But Logan had to be thankful, had he not triggered Kendall to follow after then what they'd shared may never have happened.

The taxi ride back was peacefully silent, Kendall leaning into his shoulder. Logan glanced down at him, kissed the top of his forehead. Kendall closed his eyes and actually smiled.

If only things could stay like this. If only.


	14. About Last Night

James fell back in his bed, feeling both buzzed and accomplished. It had been a good night. He'd gotten Kendall out, had a few drinks and now his incredibly hot boyfriend was climbing over him with that unmistakable gleam in his Latin eyes. Oh yea, he was going to tear that ass up tonight.

Carlos was already down to his boxers, James never wasted time stripping his sexy caramel body to the least amount of clothing as possible. Of course the least amount was nothing. Which was what he himself wore. His Carlitos was moving quite faster than him tonight but he would catch up.

“Take those off, Babe.”

He reached for Carlos's waistband but his boyfriend scooted back. “Not yet, I got a question first.”

The tent in those boxers spoke his arousal. And Carlos wasn't exactly known for his patience so how long could this really go? Keeping that in mind, James decided to play along.

“Okay.”

Carlos was biting his lip, his fingers gliding up James's bare thighs.

“Remember when we fucked Logan on the bus?”

James nodded. He did. It had been fun. As far as threesomes went he'd rate it at the top of his experiences. Logan was so easy to work up. Little slut.

“Yea, why?”

Carmel fingers found their way dangerously close to his already full erection.

“Um…you want to do it again? Not now obviously with Kendall like he is but maybe sometime?”

He could never deny those precious lips what they asked for. Still James found himself uneasy.

“Babe, remember what I said about him being our friend? Once is fun but if we do it again one of us is going to get too attached. You really want another Kendall on our hands?”

Carlos frowned.

“But we're already attached. We're friends.”

“Yea, but—”

“Kendall is only like that because Kelly was his first. It's different with Logan because neither of us were his.”

James opened his mouth to point out that they were both Logan's first guy when warm fingers ran up his cock. He groaned.

What was he about to say?

“Seeing you inside him, it got me so fucking hot, Jamie.”

Jamie, hmm he'd never called him that but damn if it didn't sound sexy.

“Say that again.”

Carlos smiled a wicked smile.

“Jamie.”

“Hmm.”

James scooted his groin up, requesting more attention.

“So can we?” his beau asked.

James found Carlos's thighs.

“Can we what?”

“Have Logan again.”

Logan? Why were they talking about Logan?

“Yea sure, whatever.”

He tugged on Carlos's waistband and his boyfriend got the message. He lifted out of the restricting material before straddling James again.

“This time I want to fuck Logan while he fucks you.”

That sentence was enough to break his trance.

“Wait, what?”

James sat up, not sure if he'd heard correctly.

“Did you just say you want Logan to fuck _me_?”

Carlos touched his lips with his own.

“While I fuck him.”

His lips trailed downward to his lover's throat. But James was still processing his statement. It wasn't like he'd never been fucked before but the last time had been a loooong time ago.

“Carlitos, hold on.”

Impatient lips ignored the directive.

“Babe—uuuh!”

He knew where to stop and nip. James took hold of the firmness that was his boyfriend's ass and squeezed.

“I can't think when you do that,” he breathed.

Carlos responded by doing it again.

Fuck.

“You're so asking for it…”

He let the topic go then, opting for talk with his hands. And skin. And his cock. Carlitos did not object. It wasn't long before his saucy ass was riding James wildly, muscles flexing with exertion. Whatever had gotten into his Latin lover tonight had given him extra stamina. He was insatiable.

“You're so sexy when you cum, Babe,” Carlos rasped as he worked him.

“Cum inside me. Fill me up.”

As a rule James never came first. He gave his partners the maximum pleasure and then he let himself go. It always worked in the past. He always had that control. But Carlos threatened that self-control as he clenched above him, his eyes burning naughtily.

“Fuck…Carlos…”

His fingers dug into those bouncing hips in an effort to manipulate the pace. But his beau wasn't relinquishing power just yet. He pried James's fingers from his hips and interlocked them with his own, never losing his rhythm.

“James,” he moaned shooting his fiery gaze down into his eyes.

His hips went loco, ardently slamming up and down.

James cursed again, his resistance shattered. His eyes locked onto searing hot brown as he burst into orgasm inside him. As requested (or was it a command) he filled his lover's hole with his diamond seed.

He barely had time to recuperate when a still rock hard Carlos rose off him with a grunt and scooted down to spread his muscular thighs apart.  
James watched him breathlessly.

“What are you doing?”

The click of a bottle, then squelch of a liquidy or gel sound, then a slick finger at his asshole.

“I want to fuck you, Jamie. You always fuck me.”

He was too spent to protest. And too relaxed to give much more than a groan. The last time he'd allowed this it had been pretty intense.

“You…you know what you're doing?” was all he could manage.

The devilish grin on his boyfriend's face made him shudder with anticipation.

“I learned from the best,” was his sly response.

James stared, loving him enough to trust him despite his propensity to be impatient when it came to pleasurable matters. Despite his never actually having done this before. On anyone.

Ever.

Carlos was biting his lower lip, clearly excited but he could see the concentration in his countenance as well. His Carlitos had always been pretty easy to read.

“Babe?”

Carlos glanced up from his task.

“Don't be nervous. You won't hurt me.”

Again those Latin lips curves into a smile.

“Not unless you want me too,” he whispered seductively.

James swallowed hard, his cock already giving light twitches from the statement alone. He could only rest his head back as a careful finger pushed its way inside him. Then another and another. By the time Carlos was inside him he was panting like a virgin, totally and completely undone.

His boyfriend seemed to rather like him that way.

He lost count of exactly how many times they fucked that night, of how many times Carlos fucked his ass but before closing his eyes James was sure of one thing. When it came to libido, he’d finally met his match. He looked forward to what else their love could bring.

* * *

  
It was the sun blaring through the drapes that woke him. Or perhaps the insane urge to pee. Possibly the Gustavo-sized headache. Whatever the case, Kendall was forced awake and treading groggily to the bathroom. He'd felt Logan sleeping beside him but that was nothing new. Logan had been helping him out since She left. His presence, just being close to him, holding him eased the emptiness in Kendall's heart. Logan eased the pain.  
After relieving himself he washed both his hands and face.

Logan eased the pain.

It came flooding back to him then, the back hallway, the hand job, the blow job.

He stared at his reflection.

_Holy shit did I jerk off Logan?_

His already shaky heart began to pound.

 _Fuck that, I let him suck my dick_.

But he was into girls. He knew he was. The thought of Kelly's breasts or Jo's tiny waist or Lucy's lips had turned him on. And they were all women. But Logan? He was a guy. He had—

 _“I'm not the one that got all muscley…”_  
—muscular! arms and a tight chest and well he had a dick.

_Yea a dick I jerked off last night._

He hadn't been that drunk. Not yet. He'd been well on his way when he'd spotted that blond twit snatch Logan off the floor like he was some prey. Nobody preyed on his friends.

Especially not Logan.

 _I really jerked off Logan_.

He blinked at his reflection, unsure of what to do now. In the other room he could hear his friend stirring in the sheets. Warily, Kendall glanced out to find that yes, Logan was awake.  
And in his boxers.

 _No big deal, we see each other in our boxers all the time_.

But then he’d gone and stuck his cock in Logan's mouth last night. Kendall stared, unsure of what to do. Should he say something? Thank him? Apologize?

Logan rubbed his eyes, still unaware that he was watching him. He sat up and Kendall's eyes roamed down his toned pale body. (Where had those pecs come from?) He stopped at his lap. Morning wood.

“Kendall?”

Logan finally noticed him. Kendall glanced away, his face burning hot. Had Logan seen where he was staring?

“I-I um, yea hi.”

Just as he wasn’t used to making his friends nervous, he wasn’t used to being nervous around them. Logan seemed to read him and offered a half smile.

“You're thinking about last night.”

There was nothing to do but be honest.

“I don't know what happened.”

He saw his best friend's face fall.

“I-I mean I know what I—what we did but I don't know why we did it.”

Logan studied his own hands.

“I think we both know why we did it, Kendall. Because we care about each other and…”

He didn't finish. Kendall shook his head.

“We care about Carlos and James but manage to keep our hands out of their pants,” he reminded him.

Logan didn't say anything. But now he was just as red as Kendall felt.

“We were both drinking. James literally forced it down our throats so maybe that's why we were acting so out of character.”

Logan was silent.

“I mean you and that wannabe Thor, and me doing…what I did. I know you, Loges and you'd never—”

“Why do you think everyone will leave you?”

He froze, caught completely off guard by the question. Where would Logan get an idea like that?

“What are you talking about?”

But a part of him knew.

“Last night you said that when things change people leave. You said I'd changed and you were convinced that I would leave too.”

Oh god. He vaguely remembered.

“I was drunk,” Kendall played it off uneasily because he didn't want to delve deeper.

He didn't want to think about whatever it was that had triggered his statement.

“Drunk confessions are the sober man's thoughts,” his friend said quietly.

Their eyes met. Kendall tried to remember any other confessions that night.

“Is it because she left?”

She had nothing to do with it. She was not to be named. She hurt too much to think about.

“I wasn't even…why do you always bring that up?” he stammered.

“Things changed with you and her then she left,” his best friend noted.

That wasn't even it.

“Look girls leave all the time. She did, Jo did, Lucy did. I'm okay with it. Really.”

Logan didn't have to say it, Kendall knew he was full of shit.

“Okay maybe not with her but it had nothing to do with things changing between us. I loved the changes. The changes are what made me love her.”

Logan found his hands again.

“I'm not afraid of change, Loges. I mean we went from Minnesota nobodies to this huge band all over the world and I think I've handled that pretty damn well. We all have.”

They should pat themselves on the back.

“They were your words, Kendall. Not mine.”

He still wasn't looking up at him. It occurred to Kendall then how awkward it must be for him, to have put his feelings out there yet again only to hear declarations of love for Kel— _her_. He hadn't just put them out there, he'd put them in his mouth. And sucked. And swallowed. You didn't do that for just anybody.

_“I could never leave you Kendall. I love you.”_

The memory rose to the surface with buoyancy and Kendall released an audible gasp. Logan shot up instinctively and was right there checking on him.

“What's wrong? Are you okay?”

Kendall blinked down at his shorter friend, his mind processing. Logan was in love with him?

_Wait, wait love can be familial. Like I love my mom or Katie or James or Carlos._

But you didn't do with family what Logan had done last night.

“Hey, say something. You're scaring me.”

Words escaped him, all words except the three replaying in his mind. Three words that made him feel warm and full inside.

“You love me?”

Logan’s eyes briefly widened as if he hadn't expected him to remember. Then his cheeks tinted. But surprisingly he didn't cower or slink away. Or have a panic attack.

“I uh guess you weren't the only one making confessions last night.”

Still blushing, he offered a shy crooked smile. The same smile Kendall remembered in third grade when he'd congratulated Logan on winning that spelling bee, or fifth grade when he'd been the only one in the entire class to ace the history exam and Kendall had given him a congratulatory candy bar.

This was that same Logan despite the new muscle, the boost in confidence, the sexual behavior at the club. He'd changed but he hadn't changed. He'd evolved. And the whole time he'd been there for him without hesitation. He'd loved him.

Kendall wasn't sure what he was feeling but he knew that it was more… and that it was for his best friend.  
Logan would never leave. Not like the others. Not like Kelly.

“How long, Loges?”

Why he wanted to know he couldn't say. He just did. His friend shrugged.

“I don't know. It happened over time. First it was a crush. Then one day I realized it was more and it scared the shit out of me. It still kinda does.”

Kendall swallowed.

“You don’t have to be scared of me,” he reassured him.

He was scared enough of whatever he was feeling himself.

“It's not you I'm scared of, Kendall. It's these feelings, knowing that you don't feel the same way. I-It's okay that you don’t though. I just don't want you to start looking at me different. I can't lose your friendship. You're so important to me.”

His honesty made Kendall want to do something he never thought he'd do. He touched Logan's chin, tipped it upward as he leaned down to plant a soft kiss on his lips. The breath his friend released was airy and dream-like.

“You're important to me too.”

Logan was gazing up at him, full of that same affection from last night. He couldn't help but to gaze back.

“I think I'd better go brush my teeth before I kiss you again,” he whispered.  
Logan awarded him that shy smile again.

“Yea?”

“Oh yea.”

“In that case, I'd better brush my teeth too.”

* * *

  
Kendall was happy. Logan was happy. James was walking funny (his Carlitos had gotten a little carried away his first time topping) but he was happy too. And Carlos, who was usually happy anyway was bursting with smiles. Things were finally right with the band.

Their last concert went off without a hitch, the after party even wilder than their night at The Gypsy. Never minding the admonishments of management (Kelly had been the only one who could handle them) they drank and partied and purged away the tensions of the past month. Kendall and Logan were attached at the hip. James caught them holding hands during a dance and Carlos squealed like a fangirl when Kendall initiated a kiss. His OTP was finally together!

The limo ride back their lips remained locked, kissing like no one else was around. Back at the hotel was just as intense. James had to pull his boyfriend away from the two for fear that he’d pull out the popcorn. (Damn he’d created a monster.)

In the morning they were all on a plane back to L.A. Logan slept on Kendall’s shoulder, Carlos was knocked out on James’s. Hazel eyes met green and they exchanged self-satisfied glances. They’d totally gotten laid. And worn their partners out.

Gustavo had sent a limo to greet them and they had to deal with paparazzi on the way but it was to be expected. James thrived on this stuff and Carlos was like a puppy with the attention. Kendall refused to admit the ego boost it gave him and Logan managed. He was still not too keen on the cameras in his face but he was always cordial. Of course Mama Knight was happy to have her boys back and even Katie seemed to have missed them (though she refused to admit it. Stubborn like her big brother.)

Things seemed to finally fall into place. They weren't booked for studio time or any work for the next week, which meant the guys were free to their own devices. Yep, things couldn't be any better.

Logan’s guilt for his feelings when Kelly left subsided (not exactly happiness but she was doing the man he loved) and he relaxed into his new relationship.

Though eventually they would have to head back to work, they'd have to encounter Kelly, he and Kendall would have to deal with it when it came. For now they would enjoy being home, enjoy being together. Anything else, didn't even matter.


	15. Epilogue

Epilogue

Her mother had always wanted grandchildren. Having only one child it kind of put the pressure on her to provide said grandkids. But with her ambition and her work schedule she had never quite found the time for a proper boyfriend let alone husband or potential father for her nonexistent child.

Today, however, that changed.

Kelly stared at the doctor in disbelief. She'd been on birth control, there was no way anything should've gotten through to create a…a baby.

“…any other medications that could have interfered with your birth control?” Dr. Garber was asking.

She wasn't on any meds, in fact the only thing she'd taken since going on tour was an herbal remedy—St. John's Wort to help her with her sleep difficulties. And that couldn't possibly have had an effect on her birth control.

“Actually studies show that St. John's Wort tends to break down estrogen which will in fact increase your likelihood of contraceptive failure,” the older man told her.

She only stared at him.

“Whatever the case Ms. Wainwright, you are eight weeks pregnant. Congratulations.”

* * *

  
He watched her leave the doctor's office, his camera at the ready. When Hawke had hired him to spy on the teen sensation Big Time Rush he had been ecstatic. The chance to get back at those morons for ruining his chance with Lucy. He'd wanted to bury them.

Especially Kendall. But then he'd seen her.

Beautiful, flawless cocoa skin in that form fitting skirt and turquoise blouse, Kelly Wainwright had blown every gasket of his mind. She was confident, sure of herself and handled those four brats with a finesse that no one else seemed to be able to do. She was perfection. A fucking goddess.

He'd decided that he wanted her.  
But then he'd seen Kendall—that fucking Kendall pin her against the tourbus and take her and his mission had been forgotten. He’d had to break them up. To tear them apart so that he could move in.

The note had done it's job. She'd left that very evening and hadn't had contact with the band. But she was at the doctor now and he wondered why. Could it be just a check-up? Or was she sick?

He'd have to find out when he worked up the nerve to talk to her. Maybe today when she went on her evening jog through the park.

Beau started his rental car and slowly followed Kelly out of the parking lot.  
Kendall may have taken Lucy but Kelly was all his. He just had to pick the right time to make his move.

 _ **What happens with Kelly & the baby? Does Kendall find out? What will that mean for Big Time Rush specifically Kogan? And what about that creeper Beau?**_  
 _ **Be sure to check out the sequel “Crazy for Kelly” . I'll post it as it comes along.**_  
 _ **Thanks for checking out my story!!**_!


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